Eliza Hartley
Manipulation is like a sneaky magician—it’s all about smoke and mirrors, using charm and fake interest to get what they want without ever tipping their hand. Influence, though? That’s more like being the wise guide, offering choices and nudging people toward better outcomes without any shady tricks.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting: manipulation isn’t a “one gender fits all” kind of thing. Anyone can be a master manipulator if they’ve got the right moves. And if you’ve ever had that nagging feeling that a woman in your life might be playing you like a fiddle, you’re not alone.
So, let me give you a heads-up. Keep an eye out for these behaviors—they could save you from a whole lot of drama and give you a front-row seat to her disappearing act before she pulls one on you!
1) She’s always playing the victim card
Manipulative people are experts at steering the narrative in their favor.
This often involves playing the victim. By always portraying herself as the ‘wronged party’, a manipulative woman aims to garner sympathy and divert attention away from her actions.
It shifts the blame, creates an emotional debt, and evokes pity, making it harder for others to challenge her behavior.
But here’s the catch – it’s all just a smokescreen. The perpetual state of victimhood is used to justify actions, evade responsibility, and manipulate others into fulfilling her needs.
2) She’s a master at guilt-tripping
Let me tell you about Jane, an acquaintance from my college days. Jane had this almost magical ability to make you feel guilty if you didn’t cater to her every whim. She’d throw out lines like, “I thought we were friends,” or the classic, “I’d do it for you,” every time I couldn’t—or just didn’t feel like—fulfilling her requests.
Her words weren’t just casual comments; they were laced with guilt, like a guilt-flavored candy coating. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to see that this wasn’t just Jane being persuasive. No, this was manipulation in its most refined form.
Guilt-tripping is a textbook move in the playbook of manipulative people. They’ve mastered the art of making you feel like you’re the villain for not jumping through hoops for them. It’s like they’re saying, “Here’s a guilt package, just for you!”
And here’s a fact to chew on: research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that guilt can be a powerful tool for compliance, which is why manipulators love to use it.
3) She’s constantly gaslighting
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where a person makes you doubt your own sanity, perceptions, or memories. It’s named after a 1944 movie, “Gaslight”, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her mind.
In real life, a manipulative woman might deny things that have happened or twist the reality to fit her narrative. The goal is to make you question your judgement and ultimately become more dependent on her for what’s ‘real’ and what’s not.
This can be as subtle as denying a conversation that took place or as destructive as making you believe you’re overreacting to her hurtful behavior.
4) She’s overly controlling
Manipulative people have an overwhelming need for control. They want to dictate the terms of your relationship, your behavior, and sometimes even your thoughts.
A manipulative woman might insist on making all the decisions, big or small, without considering your input. It could range from deciding where to eat dinner to dictating how you spend your free time.
It’s not about cooperation or compromise for her – it’s about maintaining control. She might use subtle forms of coercion, like emotional blackmail, to establish this dominance.
5) She always needs to have the last word
Growing up, I had a friend, Emily. Emily was the type of person who always needed to have the last word in every argument or discussion. At first, it seemed like a quirky trait, but over time, it became clear that it was more than just being stubborn or opinionated.
Emily used this tactic to assert her dominance and dismiss other people’s perspectives. She’d interrupt, talk over others, or use sarcasm until they’d eventually give up and let her have the last word. It was her way of ensuring she always ‘won’ every interaction.
This need to always have the final say is a common trait among manipulators. They use it to undermine others and maintain control.
6) She’s a master of emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is like the Swiss Army knife of manipulation—versatile, sneaky, and all about getting what they want by pulling at your heartstrings.
Imagine a manipulative woman using lines like, “If you really cared about me, you’d…” or “I can’t believe you’re going to let me down like this.” It’s the ultimate guilt trip, designed to make you feel like the world’s worst person if you don’t comply. The trick? The threats aren’t in-your-face—they’re wrapped up in emotional appeals that seem almost reasonable… until you take a closer look.
This isn’t just any old manipulation; it’s emotional blackmail at its finest. And here’s where it gets tricky: the pressure is subtly woven into everyday conversations, making it harder to spot. It’s like the ninja of manipulation tactics—stealthy and effective.
According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, emotional blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation where the victim feels forced to give in due to fear, obligation, or guilt.
7) She never takes responsibility for her actions
Perhaps the most telling sign of a manipulative person is their inability to take responsibility for their actions.
It’s never her fault; there’s always someone else or something else to blame. This allows her to avoid the consequences of her actions and continue manipulating others without guilt.
This refusal to own up to mistakes isn’t just damaging; it’s destructive. It erodes trust, fosters resentment, and prevents any meaningful growth or change.
Final thoughts: The power of awareness
Understanding human behavior is a complex and fascinating journey. It’s a labyrinth of patterns, motives, and actions, often influenced by a multitude of factors.
One such behavior is manipulation, a covert and harmful way to exert control over others. If not identified early, it can lead to damaging relationships and significant emotional distress.
The seven behaviors we’ve discussed here – playing the victim, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, controlling tendencies, always having the last word, emotional blackmail, and shirking responsibility – are key indicators of manipulative behavior.
In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” Awareness of manipulation is the first step towards safeguarding your emotional well-being. It’s a step worth taking.
