If you hold onto these 9 regrets, you won’t move forward in life

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Regret is a powerful emotion that can keep you feeling stuck in the past. 

And when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like there’s no way out; no light at the end of the tunnel. 

But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

By letting go of your mistakes, learning from them, and forgiving yourself, you can put the past behind you. 

If you can relate, read on to find out 9 regrets worth letting go of if you want to move forward in life: 

1) Failing to pursue your passion

One of the most common regrets people have is not following their passion.

This could be a career, a hobby, or even a relationship that they didn’t pursue because of fear, societal pressure, or other reasons.

Imagine spending your life in a job that doesn’t inspire you, only to look back and realize you could have done what you loved.

This kind of regret can weigh heavily on your soul.

You see, the problem with holding onto this regret is that it keeps you stuck in the past, constantly wondering “what if”.

This mental state can hinder your ability to see new opportunities and seize them, keeping you from moving forward.

So instead of dwelling on what could have been, they focus on what can still be.

They channel their energy into pursuing their current passions and ensuring that they won’t have similar regrets in the future.

2) Not making amends

Years ago, I had quite a bad falling out with a close friend.

It was one of those disagreements that escalated quickly, and before we knew it, we weren’t speaking to each other.

The regret of not handling that situation better ate at me.

For years, the thought of our unresolved conflict lingered in the back of my mind. I found myself stuck in a loop of guilt and regret, unable to fully enjoy my present relationships due to this unresolved past issue.

One day, I decided to reach out to this old friend and apologize for my part in our misunderstanding.

To my surprise, she expressed the same feelings and had been hoping to make amends as well.

Once I let go of that regret by addressing it directly, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It freed up emotional space for me to form new, healthier relationships.

So, are there any relationships gone sour that you could revisit? Even if the other person doesn’t feel the same way, I guarantee you’ll still feel a lot lighter. 

3) Living up to others’ expectations

Did you know that the term “keeping up with the Joneses” has been around for over a century?

It originated from a 1910 comic strip and reflects the societal pressure to compare ourselves to our neighbors and strive to match their lifestyles.

It might have been comedic back then, but the regret of living life according to others’ expectations can be a significant roadblock to personal progress.

The truth is, when you make decisions based on what you think others want for you, you’re not living your true life but a version crafted by external influences.

And ultimately, regret of this kind can keep you trapped in a cycle of pleasing others at the cost of your own happiness and fulfillment.

Even worse, it may prevent you from taking risks, trying new things, or pursuing paths that deviate from societal norms.

My advice is to stop focusing on what everyone else thinks and do what makes you happy. 

4) Neglecting personal health

Health is wealth – a mantra we’ve all heard, yet often ignore.

Perhaps you didn’t exercise regularly, overindulged in unhealthy foods, or ignored signs of stress and burnout. These choices might have led to health issues that now limit your lifestyle and make you regret your past decisions.

The problem with this regret is that it can lead to a defeatist attitude.

You might think, “I’ve already ruined my health, so why bother trying now?”

This mindset can prevent you from making positive changes in the present.

The reality is, it’s never too late to start prioritizing your health. You can’t change the past, but you can control your actions today.

So, make a commitment to healthier choices, seek professional advice if needed, and forgive yourself for past mistakes.

5) Not investing in personal growth

I used to regret not investing in personal growth sooner. 

I might have found more peace if I had done. But I realized that holding onto this regret wouldn’t help me in any shape or form. 

Perhaps you can relate?

Whether it was not taking a work opportunity or failing to build on your interpersonal skills, we’ve all been there. 

However, dwelling on these regrets will only pull you back.

It’s important to remember that personal growth isn’t confined to a timeline. You can start investing in yourself at any age or stage of life.

Take up a course, start a new hobby, read more books, or seek mentorship. Whatever you do, you’ll be propelling yourself forward rather than dwelling on the past. 

6) Not expressing love and appreciation

Missing the chance to tell a loved one how you feel about them before they passed away, or a partner before a breakup, can leave you feeling hopeless and bitter towards yourself. 

And while it’s normal to feel that way, ultimately, you can’t change it now.

What you can do, though, is make sure to never repeat the same mistake again.

Reach out to people you care about, tell them how much they mean to you, and show your appreciation for them.

If someone is no longer in your life, honor their memory by expressing your feelings in a personal letter or journal.

I know it’s not the same, but it may help you heal and move on with your life. 

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

When I was at university, a classmate of mine was making some seriously harmful decisions.

I saw the red flags, but I chose to stay silent, thinking it wasn’t my place to interfere. Today, I regret not having that difficult conversation with her.

Unsurprisingly, avoiding difficult conversations is a common regret. These are the talks we know we need to have, but fear of conflict or hurting someone’s feelings holds us back.

We think silence is the safer route, only to look back and wish we’d spoken up.

But the bottom line is:

When you hold onto this regret, you perpetuate a cycle of avoidance.

You might find yourself continuing to dodge tough discussions, which can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

That’s why it’s important to learn how to communicate effectively, and how to face those difficult conversations when they crop up. Here’s a guide that may help you. 

8) Not standing up for yourself

Following on from the previous point, if you avoid difficult conversations and confrontations, you might have also avoided standing up for yourself.

What this really boils down to, though, is self-respect. Without it, it’s very hard to move forward in life. 

For example, have there ever been times when you allowed others to treat you poorly, or you didn’t assert yourself when your values were compromised?

These moments can leave a lasting impact, causing you to question your worth and limit your potential.

However, dwelling on these regrets won’t change the past.

What it can do is fuel your determination to stand up for yourself moving forward.

Now’s the time – let go of this regret and vow to stand up for yourself in the future. Empower yourself. And most importantly, don’t let anyone treat you disrespectfully. 

9) Not living in the moment

And finally, one of the most powerful regrets people carry is not living in the moment.

This regret stems from being perpetually distracted, rushing through life without pausing to appreciate the here and now.

I’ve been guilty of this. I often think about the past or worry about the future. 

It wasn’t until I realized that life was passing me by and I wasn’t engaged in it. 

So, what helped me?

The key to letting go of this regret is embracing mindfulness.

This involves becoming fully engaged in the present, appreciating every moment as it comes, without judgment or distraction.

Give it a go. It may take a while to get the hang of it, but when you do, you’ll find yourself enjoying those small, simple moments in life a lot more. 

Final thoughts: 

Regret is a powerful emotion.

It’s a recognition of our past mistakes and missed opportunities, a longing for what could have been.

But when held onto, regret can become an anchor that keeps us stuck in the past, unable to move forward.

And while we can’t change our past, we can choose how it influences our present and future.

We can decide to learn from our regrets, to use them as stepping stones towards growth and progress, rather than allowing them to become stumbling blocks.

Good luck. 

Lost Your Sense of Purpose?

In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.

Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.

Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.

With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.

Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.

 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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