Eliza Hartley
Aging is often seen as a negative thing and associated with decline.
But the truth is, as we age, we grow, transforming into our best versions.
However, unlike aging, growing as a person doesn’t just happen naturally. It’s an intentional act of self-improvement.
As we age, it’s important to shed certain behaviors that hold us back from becoming better individuals. In fact, it’s crucial if you’re keen on personal growth.
There are 8 such behaviors that you should bid farewell to if you genuinely want to be a better person as you age. Let’s delve into them.
1) Blaming others
Personal growth begins with personal responsibility. And a major part of that is letting go of the habit of blaming others.
We’ve all been there. It’s so tempting to point fingers when things go wrong. To say it was someone else’s fault or that circumstances were against us.
The problem is, when we blame others, we give away our power. We’re essentially saying we have no control over our lives, and that’s just not true.
As we age, it’s essential to recognize that our decisions and actions shape our lives. If something isn’t working, it’s up to us to change it.
Sure, it can be tough to own up to our mistakes. But it’s also empowering. It means we’re in control of our destiny.
If you genuinely want to grow as a person, say goodbye to the blame game. Instead, take responsibility for your life. It’s one of the most powerful changes you can make.
2) Holding onto grudges
Let’s talk about forgiveness. It’s something I’ve personally struggled with as I’ve aged.
I used to hold onto grudges like they were life rafts in a stormy sea. If someone wronged me, I would wallow in my anger and resentment, letting it fester and grow.
Over time, I realized that holding onto these grudges wasn’t hurting the people who had wronged me. It was hurting me. It was like carrying around a heavy backpack of negativity everywhere I went.
So, I made a conscious decision to let go of my grudges. To forgive, not for the other person’s sake, but for mine.
And you know what?
It was liberating. The moment I chose forgiveness over resentment, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
If you genuinely want to be a better person as you age, consider letting go of your grudges. It’s not about forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about choosing peace over bitterness.
3) Fear of change
Change is a constant in life. Yet, many of us spend so much energy fighting it.
We cling to our routines, our comfort zones, and the familiar because it feels safe.
But did you know that our brains are actually wired to resist change?
It’s a survival mechanism, designed to keep us safe from the unknown. But in today’s fast-paced world, this fear can hold us back.
Resisting change means resisting growth. It keeps us stuck in the same patterns, the same behaviors, and the same outcomes.
Embracing change, on the other hand, opens up a world of possibilities. It allows us to learn, to grow, and to become better versions of ourselves.
So if you’re serious about personal growth as you age, it’s time to make peace with change. It might be uncomfortable at first, but it’s a journey worth taking.
4) Living in the past
As we age, it’s natural to look back and reflect on our lives. But there’s a big difference between reflecting and dwelling.
Dwelling on the past keeps us stuck. It prevents us from moving forward and embracing the present.
Maybe you’re holding onto past mistakes or regrets. Maybe you’re stuck in a golden era of ‘what was.’
But the truth is, we can’t change what’s already happened. We can only learn from it.
When we let go of the past, we make room for the now. We open ourselves up to new experiences, new people, and new opportunities.
So if you want to be a better person as you age, make peace with your past. Learn from it, but don’t let it dictate your present or future.
5) Neglecting self-care
Life gets busy. We all know that. And sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of it all, we forget to take care of ourselves.
But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation on which we build a happy, healthy life.
As we age, it becomes even more important to take care of our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This involves:
- Eating well
- Exercising regularly
- Getting enough sleep
- Taking time to relax and recharge
It’s also about setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ when we need to. It’s about recognizing our worth and understanding that it’s okay to put ourselves first sometimes.
So if you genuinely want to become a better person as you age, don’t neglect self-care. Treat yourself with the same kindness, love, and respect you’d show to others. Because you’re worth it.
6) Being overly critical
Criticism can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can help us identify areas for improvement. On the other hand, too much criticism, especially of ourselves, can be destructive.
I’ve found myself in this trap more times than I care to admit.
I would nitpick every tiny flaw, every mistake, beating myself up over things that, in hindsight, were not that big of a deal.
This constant self-criticism was exhausting. It was like having a bully in my own mind, never letting me rest or feel good about my achievements.
That’s when I realized that I needed to change my approach.
I started practicing self-compassion. Instead of being my own worst critic, I became my own cheerleader.
The transformation was incredible. By showing myself kindness instead of criticism, I became happier, more confident, and more resilient.
If you want to be a better person as you age, try being kinder to yourself. You’re human and humans make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow.
7) Avoiding difficult conversations
Nobody relishes uncomfortable conversations. They’re called ‘difficult’ for a reason.
But avoiding these dialogues doesn’t make the issues at hand disappear, it only prolongs the inevitable.
As we age, we come to realize that the most growth often comes from the most challenging situations. Confronting a problem head-on, even if it means a tough conversation, is a mark of maturity.
Whether it’s addressing a conflict in a relationship, discussing boundaries, or expressing your feelings, having these conversations is crucial for personal growth.
So if you genuinely want to be a better person as you age, don’t shy away from difficult talks.
Approach them with respect, empathy, and an open mind. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself and others.
8) Ignoring your dreams
This is perhaps the most important behavior to let go of as you age: ignoring your dreams.
Your dreams and passions are not just whimsical fantasies. They are a part of who you are and what makes you unique.
As we age, it’s easy to push our dreams aside. We get caught up in the practicalities of life, the responsibilities, the ‘shoulds’. But in doing so, we lose a part of ourselves.
Don’t let your dreams gather dust on a shelf. Pursue them with all your heart. They might not always come true in the way you imagined, but the journey towards them is worth every step.
Remember, it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Because a life lived with passion and purpose is a life well-lived.
Final thoughts: It’s about choice
The journey of personal growth is a deeply personal and ongoing process, intricately tied to our choices.
The behaviors we’ve discussed are not inherent traits. They are choices we make, consciously or unconsciously.
The power to become a better person as you age lies within you. It’s about making the choice to let go of these behaviors that hold you back. It’s about choosing growth over stagnation, self-love over self-criticism, and dreams over fears.
Remember, it’s never too late to make a change. And every step you take towards becoming a better person is a step worth taking.
So take a moment, reflect on these behaviors and make the choice to say goodbye to them. Your future self will thank you.
