If you find it hard to make friends, say goodbye to these 11 behaviors

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Hey there!

Making friends can feel like a tough task, right?

But what if it’s not about them, but about us? What if it’s our own actions that stop us from making friends?

If you’re finding it hard to make friends, maybe it’s time to let go of some habits.

We’re here to help! We’ve got 11 behaviors that might be getting in the way of your friendships.

Ready to learn and grow? Let’s dive in!

1) Being too self-centered

We all love to talk about ourselves, it’s human nature. But when it comes to making friends, it’s important to share the stage. If you’re always the one talking and never taking the time to listen, people may find it hard to connect with you.

After all, friendship is a two-way street. Engage in active listening, show interest in what others are saying, and respond thoughtfully. This simple shift can make a world of difference in your interactions.

2) Not showing empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a crucial ingredient in any friendship.

If you’re always dismissing or minimizing other people’s feelings, they may feel unheard and unvalued.

Try putting yourself in their shoes and offering a kind word or two. You’d be surprised how something as simple as understanding can turn a casual acquaintance into a close friend.

3) Avoiding vulnerability

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that people tend to connect on a deeper level when they feel they can be open and honest with each other.

I remember back in high school, I had a hard time making friends because I was always trying to appear perfect. I thought if people saw my flaws, they wouldn’t want to be my friend.

But one day, I opened up to a classmate about my struggles with math. Instead of laughing at me or judging me, she offered to help me study. This experience taught me that being vulnerable doesn’t push people away; instead, it invites them to come closer.

If you always put up walls, it’s going to be hard for anyone to get close to you. Letting your guard down could be the key to making more friends.

4) Being overly negative

Did you know that our brains are wired to react more intensely to negative events than positive ones? This is called the negativity bias, and it’s a survival mechanism that helps us avoid danger.

While this may have been useful in the prehistoric era, in today’s world, it can lead to a lot of unnecessary pessimism.

Constantly complaining or focusing on the negatives can drain the energy out of any interaction and make it hard for people to enjoy your company.

Instead, try focusing on the positive aspects of life. Not only will this make you more pleasant to be around, but studies have shown that positivity can also boost your own mood and well-being!

5) Not being present

In this digital age, it’s easy to get lost in our screens and lose touch with the people right in front of us.

We’ve all been there: you’re hanging out with someone, but instead of engaging in the conversation, you’re scrolling through your phone. This can make the other person feel ignored and unimportant.

But imagine how wonderful it feels when someone gives you their undivided attention. It shows that they truly value your company and are interested in what you have to say. 

6) Judging too quickly

I’ll be honest, I used to be pretty quick to judge people. If someone was quiet, I’d assume they were boring. If they were outgoing, I’d think they were trying too hard.

But over time, I’ve realized that these snap judgments were stopping me from getting to know some truly amazing people. For example, there was this girl in my university who always kept to herself.

I initially thought she was just aloof, but when we ended up working on a project together, I discovered she was one of the most caring and interesting people I’d ever met. She was simply shy and took some time to open up.

The moral of the story is: everyone has a story that’s worth listening to. Give people a chance before you decide what they’re like.

7) Not owning up to mistakes

Let’s face it, we all screw up. We’re humans, not robots. But you know what’s worse than messing up? Pretending like it never happened.

We’ve all been there: you say something hurtful in the heat of an argument or forget someone’s birthday. It stings. But instead of brushing it off or making excuses, own up to it.

It might be tough to swallow your pride, but apologizing sincerely and learning from your mistakes shows character and honesty. And believe me, people respect that. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being real.

8) Not respecting boundaries

Did you know that respect for personal boundaries is one of the key markers of healthy relationships? We all have our own comfort zones, and they need to be respected.

If you’re always pushing people to do things they’re not comfortable with, or oversharing personal details that make them uncomfortable, it can put a strain on your relationship. Respect their space and privacy.

And remember, a good friend understands that no means no, even if it doesn’t make sense to them.

9) Not offering help

I recall a time in my life when I was too caught up in my own world to notice the needs of those around me.

My friend was going through a rough patch, and instead of offering my help, I was too busy dealing with my own issues. It wasn’t until they confronted me about it that I realized how selfish I had been.

From that day onward, I made a promise to myself to always extend a helping hand whenever possible. Sometimes, even the smallest gestures can mean the world to someone.

Let it sink in: friendship isn’t just about having fun together; it’s about being there for each other in times of need.

10) Being unreliable

Here’s the hard truth: if you say you’re going to do something, do it. Nothing erodes trust faster than broken promises. If you’re always flaking on plans or failing to follow through on your commitments, people will start to question your reliability.

And let’s be real, nobody wants to be friends with someone they can’t count on. Thus, be someone who sticks to their word. It might seem like a small thing, but it makes a huge difference in how people perceive you.

11) Always trying to one-up others

Let’s get real for a second – no one likes a show-off. If you’re constantly trying to one-up others or turn every conversation into a competition, it can be really off-putting.

We all want to shine, but not at the expense of making others feel lesser. A true friend celebrates others’ achievements and doesn’t feel the need to outshine them. 

Nurturing meaningful connections: Letting go of friendship barriers

In wrapping up, bidding farewell to these eleven behaviors paves the way for cultivating authentic friendships.

In relinquishing habits such as negativity, judgmental attitudes, and self-centeredness, we create space for genuine connections to flourish. Embracing empathy, active listening, and vulnerability fosters deeper bonds with others. 

With intentionality and openness, we can navigate the complexities of social interactions and build fulfilling relationships. Therefore, if making friends feels daunting, it’s time to bid adieu to these hindrances and welcome the enriching connections waiting to be forged.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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