If you feel like someone is trying to manipulate you, look for these 7 clues

It’s a fine line, isn’t it? The distinction between someone guiding you and someone manipulating you. The difference, like the earlier article pointed out, boils down to choice – your choice.

Manipulation feels sneaky, underhanded, like the puppeteer pulling the strings without your consent. On the flip side, being influenced leaves room for your decision, your voice.

So how do you know when it’s happening? How do you discern between the two?

Well, as a relationship expert, I’ve picked up a few telltale signs over the years. In fact, I’ve narrowed them down to 7 key clues that can help you identify if someone is trying to manipulate you.

Ready to arm yourself with some valuable knowledge? Let’s dive in.

1) They’re always right

It seems like a simple enough thing, doesn’t it? People being right. But what happens when someone is always right? No matter the topic, the situation, or the person involved, they somehow have all the answers.

This could be a significant red flag indicating manipulation.

Manipulators often present themselves as experts, as know-it-alls. They do this to create a power imbalance. It’s their way of ensuring you feel less capable, less knowledgeable, and therefore more reliant on their ‘expertise’.

By making you doubt your own judgment, they gain control and direct the narrative to suit their purpose.

Be wary of this. Remember, no one knows everything about everything. And it’s okay to question things, to have your own opinions.

Empower yourself with knowledge and stay alert for this common manipulation tactic.

2) They’re overly agreeable

This one might seem a bit odd, right? After all, isn’t it a good thing when someone agrees with you?

Well, yes and no.

While it’s great to have common ground, constant agreement can also be a manipulation tactic.

Manipulators often use this strategy to lull you into a false sense of security. They make you feel like you’re always on the same page, creating an illusion of camaraderie and mutual understanding.

But here’s the catch. Agreeing with everything you say doesn’t necessarily mean they truly share your views. It could simply mean they’re trying to keep you complacent and unguarded.

So the next time someone seems to agree with you all the time, take a step back. Ask yourself if their agreement feels genuine or if it’s just a tool designed to keep you in their good graces.

3) They play the victim

Do you know that person who always seems to be in crisis mode? The one who constantly needs help or is perpetually the victim of unfortunate circumstances?

This could be a significant clue that manipulation is at play.

Manipulators are often experts at playing the victim card. It’s a common tactic to garner sympathy and keep you engaged, making you feel obligated to help or support them.

In my own journey exploring relationships and codependency, I’ve come across this pattern quite often. In fact, I delve into it in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a subtle but impactful behavior that can keep you tangled in a manipulative web.

So, be mindful of those who seem to perpetually wear the victim hat. It might just be their way of keeping you right where they want you.

4) They use guilt as a weapon

Ever felt like you’re constantly being guilt-tripped? That’s another sneaky clue that you might be dealing with a manipulator.

Manipulators are pros at making you feel guilty for things that truly aren’t your fault. They twist situations, play the blame game, and ensure you end up feeling responsible for their problems.

I’ve seen this behavior too often in my line of work. It’s a subtle yet powerful way to control someone else’s actions and decisions.

As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Remember, guilt is a powerful emotion, but it’s not your responsibility to carry someone else’s burdens. Stand tall in your truth and don’t let anyone use guilt as a weapon against you.

5) They’re masters of diversion

Ever been in a conversation where you’re trying to address an issue, but somehow the topic always changes before anything gets resolved? This could be a sign of manipulation.

Manipulators are skilled at diverting conversations and shifting blame. Instead of addressing a problem, they’ll steer the conversation elsewhere, often turning the tables so you end up on the defensive.

I’ve experienced this firsthand more times than I care to admit. It can feel like you’re caught in a whirlwind, never quite able to pin down the real issue.

So, keep an eye out for this tactic. If someone constantly deflects or diverts when you’re trying to have serious conversations, it might be time to reevaluate their intentions.

6) They never take responsibility

Ah, the blame game. It’s a classic move in the manipulator’s handbook. They’re quick to point fingers, but when it comes to taking responsibility? Not so much.

Manipulators often shirk responsibility, skillfully shifting blame onto others. It’s never their fault, and they have a knack for making sure you know it.

I’ve seen it play out time and time again. As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

If you notice this pattern in someone’s behavior, take it as a clue. And remember, it’s okay to hold people accountable for their actions.

For more insights like these and to stay updated on my latest articles, feel free to follow me on Facebook. But for now, let’s move on to our final clue.

7) They make you feel less than

This is, perhaps, the most painful clue of all. When someone consistently makes you feel less than – less than worthy, less than important, less than loved – it’s a glaring sign of manipulation.

Manipulators tend to belittle others to elevate themselves. It’s a cruel tactic, designed to chip away at your self-worth until you’re more susceptible to their control.

It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s hurtful. And it’s important to recognize it for what it is.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. No one has the right to make you feel otherwise. Stand strong in your worth and don’t let anyone use your insecurities against you.

Insights and reflection

In the realm of relationships and human interaction, manipulation can often be hard to spot. It’s insidious, creeping in under the guise of harmless behavior and leaving you second-guessing your own instincts.

But as we’ve discussed in this article, there are clues that can help you identify this behavior. The key is to stay observant, trust your gut, and remember that it’s okay to set boundaries.

It’s a journey of self-awareness and learning. I’ve navigated this path myself, and it’s my hope that sharing these insights will help you do the same.

In reflecting on our discussion, I think Justin Brown’s video on the illusion of happiness ties in well with our topic. He explores how chasing happiness can actually lead us into traps, like getting tangled in manipulative relationships.

Remember, it’s okay to seek happiness, but not at the cost of your peace of mind or personal values. Stay vigilant, trust your instincts, and never forget that you’re worthy of respect and genuine love.