Ah, love, sweet love. Such a beautifully complex emotion that enriches our lives in countless ways.
When it comes to falling for someone, we often seek qualities and traits that align with our values and goals.
Each one of us is beautifully unique. While we bring that uniqueness into every romantic relationship — some universal personality traits contribute to a solid and long-lasting partnership.
Here are seven of my favorite traits to look for when falling in love.
This comes at the top of the list because empathy is perhaps the most crucial trait to seek in a partner.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s like taking a metaphorical walk in someone else’s shoes. You feel the person you are with. It’s deeper than just a “vibe.”
You need to know and trust that the person you are with can connect with you on that more profound level.
You know, the level where you feel really seen and heard.
Think cuddles and ice cream after a hard day without you having to explain what happened.
The look in your partners’ eyes that says, “Don’t worry, I get it.”
An empathetic partner will support you through the inevitable roller-coaster of life. They’ll make sure that your relationship is a place of comfort and solace.
Never underestimate the power of kindness.
A partner with this all-important trait will not only treat you with respect and consideration but will also extend their kindness to others.
You can spot this extended kindness in the way your partner talks to the person waiting on your table.
Or how they greet a flustered store clerk.
Or how they treat a homeless person asking for help.
Someone with a kind soul will seek ways to make life easier and more pleasurable for those around them. They aren’t afraid to show their concern for the well-being of others.
Choosing a partner who possesses kindness ensures that your relationship will be built on a foundation of compassion and generosity.
The need for trust is absolute. Partnerships crumble without it. When you fall in love, it’s essential to choose someone who is trustworthy and reliable.
You can recognize a trustworthy trait when someone is always honest with you. They’ll keep their promises and hold your secrets close to their heart. No blabbing about you or your personal experiences as a couple to your friends or family.
Trust allows you to feel secure in your relationship. Knowing that you can rely on your partner to have your back is one of the safest feelings there is.
4) Sense of humor
This is a non-negotiable in my book. You have to be able to laugh together.
Laughter truly is the best medicine. It can get you through tough times with ease and composure. A partner with a great sense of humor can bring immense joy to your life.
You need to make sure that your humor aligns. It’s no good you rolling on the floor in fits of giggles at potty humor when they are more into high-brow wit.
When you can laugh together, you embrace a lighter side of life. It brightens even the darkest times and adds fun and playfulness to your relationship.
When on the lookout for a prospective partner, pay attention to someone who makes you laugh spontaneously. Someone who doesn’t even have to crack a joke. Someone who makes you smile just by being themselves.
Mental flexibility is a fundamental trait to look for in a partner.
Our world is constantly evolving with the growth and exploration of new ideas. Your partner needs to have suppleness in their thinking.
Someone who holds steadfast to a particular worldview can restrict your growth and expansion.
Open-mindedness means being receptive to new ideas and different options. It shows a willingness to engage in meaningful conversations.
Instead of being trapped in an intellectual and conceptual rut, with an open-minded partner, you can learn from each other. You need someone who can challenge your beliefs, fostering growth as individuals and as a couple.
Supportiveness is a quality I definitely recommend looking for in a romantic relationship. You want someone who is in your corner cheering you on.
A supportive partner will genuinely believe your hopes and dreams are something you should strive to achieve. And they’ll help you out along the way.
Maybe they read your essays or articles before you hand them in.
Perhaps they offer to drive you to that important interview so you can spend the journey finessing your pitch.
They might offer to cook dinner for a whole week while you work overtime on your passion project.
Whether pursuing a new career, taking up a hobby, or facing a personal challenge, a supportive partner will be your biggest ally. Their encouragement and belief in you will give you the confidence to reach new heights.
7) Emotional Intelligence
I am saving the best till last with this one. The power of emotional intelligence cannot be underestimated.
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand and manage your own emotions as well as the emotions of others.
When you have deep chats with someone you might be falling for, can they identify their feelings, depersonalize triggers, self-regulate their emotional states, and not blame you for the complex emotions?
A relationship that values emotional intelligence can skillfully navigate conflict in a healthy and calm manner.
No phone-throwing or irrational tantrums here, please.
Choosing a partner with high emotional intelligence will ensure you don’t end up in a relationship with someone who feels like a teenager.
Being with someone attuned to your needs and recognizing their own emotions will lead to deeper emotional connection and intimacy within your relationship.
And what could be sweeter than that?
While there’s no doubt that these traits can contribute to a strong and fulfilling relationship, it’s important to remember that no one is entirely perfect all of the time.
We can strive for greatness without the expectation to embody these traits flawlessly.
Sometimes it’s hard to maintain composure when life throws you a giant curveball. That’s where your own empathy, supportiveness, and emotional intelligence need to kick in.
As well as finding someone who possesses these qualities to a reasonable degree, what matters most in any budding romance is the willingness to do the work on ourselves and the relationship.
This willingness to walk the mystery of life together will strengthen your unique connection, creating a solid and lasting bond.