If you don’t want your partner to take you for granted, say goodbye to these 10 habits

In any relationship, feeling appreciated is vital. But when your partner begins to take you for granted, it can lead to frustration and resentment.

Sometimes it’s not about their actions, but our own habits that foster this feeling of being undervalued.

The good news is, by recognizing and discarding these habits, we can influence how our partner perceives us.

So, let me share with you these 10 habits to say goodbye to, ensuring your partner never takes you for granted.

1) Always being available

It’s common to always want to be there for your partner—you care about them deeply. But constantly being available can inadvertently lead to them taking your time and presence for granted.

The truth is, no one should feel obligated to be available 24/7, even in a relationship. Establishing boundaries and maintaining your own life outside of the relationship isn’t about playing games or being distant. It’s about preserving a healthy balance and ensuring your partner values your time together.

Believe me, breaking this habit will not only prevent your partner from taking you for granted but also foster a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

2) Over-apologizing

In my past relationships, I had a tendency to over-apologize. Even in minor disagreements, I’d find myself saying sorry, even when I wasn’t at fault.

At first, I thought it was just a way to be considerate, to avoid conflict and maintain harmony. But I came to realize that it wasn’t about peace at all—I was actually diminishing my own worth and teaching my partner to overlook my feelings.

While it’s important to apologize when you’re in the wrong, excessively saying sorry for every little thing can send a message that your feelings, thoughts, and opinions are less important.

Once I started reserving my apologies for situations where they were truly warranted, I noticed a significant change in my relationships. My partner began to value our conversations more and respect my perspective. This shift allowed for healthier communication and mutual respect to flourish.

3) Neglecting self-care

In psychology, there’s a concept known as the ‘self-care deficit theory.’ This theory suggests that neglecting our own well-being can impair our ability to effectively care for others.

Self-care isn’t just about indulging in luxury or treating yourself to expensive treats. It’s about dedicating time each day to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental health.

When we overlook self-care, we might inadvertently convey to our partner that our needs aren’t important. This could lead them to take us for granted, mirroring the way we treat ourselves.

Whether it’s pursuing a hobby you love, ensuring you get enough rest, or simply carving out moments for quiet reflection, remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a vital practice if you want your partner to recognize and value you as much as you deserve.

4) Not expressing your needs

Communication truly is the cornerstone of any relationship. Yet, so many of us hesitate to express our needs, fearing we might seem clingy or overly demanding.

But here’s the thing—your partner isn’t a mind reader. Without open communication, they might not even realize what you need or want. And that can inadvertently lead to them taking you for granted.

It’s crucial to communicate your needs in a constructive and assertive manner. This isn’t about being selfish or stirring up trouble. Instead, it’s about nurturing a healthy dialogue and establishing clear expectations.

5) Avoiding confrontation

Confrontations aren’t anyone’s favorite activity. They can be awkward and emotionally draining. But avoiding them altogether can result in your feelings being ignored and your partner taking you for granted.

When you brush issues under the rug, you’re essentially giving your partner the message that their actions, no matter how hurtful or thoughtless, are okay. This sets a precedent where they might think they can continue their behavior without any consequences.

Keep in mind, a healthy relationship involves having tough conversations with respect and empathy. So, don’t shy away from confrontations—they can be the key to ensuring your partner values your feelings and needs.

6) Overcompensating in the relationship

Love is indeed about giving, but it should never feel like a one-way street. If you’re constantly pouring in more effort, care, and attention with little in return, it’s time to reassess this pattern.

Overcompensating in a relationship often stems from a place of genuine love and concern. However, it can also be fueled by fear—fear of inadequacy, fear of losing the person you cherish.

Despite its heartfelt intentions, this tendency can inadvertently lead your partner to take your efforts for granted. It may establish an unhealthy dynamic where they become accustomed to receiving without feeling the need to reciprocate.

Love thrives on balance. It’s a mutual exchange where both partners contribute equally. Don’t let fear overshadow your self-worth. You deserve a relationship where your efforts are valued and met with reciprocity.

7) Accepting less than you deserve

There was a period in my life where I settled for less than I deserved in a relationship. I made excuses for their lack of effort, their dismissive behavior, and my own unhappiness. I convinced myself that this was just the way love was supposed to be.

But with time, I came to realize that settling for less isn’t an act of love—it’s a betrayal of oneself.

When you settle, you send the message to your partner that their minimal effort is sufficient. This can lead them to take you for granted, assuming that regardless of their actions, you’ll always be there.

The journey toward self-love and self-respect begins with recognizing your own worth. And once you do, you’ll understand that you deserve a partner who values and cherishes you just as much as you do them.

8) Trying to fix all their problems

In relationships, it’s natural to want to lend a hand when our loved ones face tough times. However, there’s a delicate balance between being supportive and attempting to solve all their problems.

While it may seem helpful to offer quick fixes, it can inadvertently convey a lack of trust in your partner’s ability to handle their own challenges. This not only diminishes their confidence but may also lead them to take your support for granted.

Keep in mind, being there for your partner doesn’t always mean providing solutions. Sometimes, it’s about listening, empathizing, and offering encouragement as they navigate their difficulties.

9) Keeping score

In the game of love, keeping score is a losing strategy. When we start keeping tabs on who did what, who apologized first, or who made more sacrifices, it creates a competitive atmosphere in the relationship.

Keeping score can lead to resentment and a feeling of being taken for granted. It’s because when you’re caught up in counting, you might overlook the efforts your partner is making.

Instead, focus on fostering a sense of teamwork in your relationship. Appreciate the efforts, big or small, that your partner puts into the relationship without comparing them to your own.

10) Losing your individuality

One of the most precious things you bring to a relationship is your uniqueness. However, when we merge our lives with someone else, it’s easy to lose sight of our individuality.

When you let go of your interests, passions, and personal growth for the sake of the relationship, it can lead your partner to take your self-sacrifice for granted. They may begin to overlook the unique person you are.

Maintaining your individuality isn’t about keeping distance or leading separate lives. It’s about nurturing the things that make you ‘you’, even as you share your life with someone else.

Never compromise on who you are for the sake of a relationship. Your uniqueness is your power, and it’s what makes you irreplaceable. Cherish it, nurture it, and never let it be taken for granted.

Love starts with self-respect: The ultimate relationship fuel!

In essence, maintaining a healthy relationship is all about balance and communication. It’s essential to ensure that both you and your partner feel valued and respected. 

Don’t hesitate to express your needs and boundaries openly and honestly. Your feelings and contributions are just as important as your partner’s.

If you find yourself feeling unappreciated, address it calmly and constructively. Encourage mutual appreciation and acknowledgment of each other’s efforts. Foster a partnership where both partners actively support and uplift one another. 

When you prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and appreciation, you can better lay the groundwork for a strong and lasting relationship.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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