Adrian Volenik
It seems like most relationships are doomed to fail. They start out great, but then, as the years go by, people grow apart and break up.
But what if there were a way to tell if a relationship or marriage will last? How helpful would that be for your future relationship?
Well, in this article, we’re highlighting the things that partners do together that show they’re in a relationship that will last.
1) You compromise
I’ve been in a relationship (now marriage) long enough to know that every relationship involves compromise. And plenty of it.
It’s all about finding a middle ground when you have different opinions or desires. And this can happen a lot, especially if both of you are opinionated and stubborn.
In these situations, it’s not about winning an argument but finding solutions that work for both.
If the two of you mostly come up with win-win solutions, it’s a strong signal you’re in a relationship that will last.
And then there’s this:
2) You have shared dreams
Dreams and aspirations give our lives a sense of purpose. So, if both of you have these in common and work together on fulfilling them – good for you.
But know that these goals don’t have to be anything fancy. They can be anything from planning for a future family to building a life together.
I’ve found that discussing long-term plans and working together to achieve them helps both partners feel invested in the relationship’s future.
On the other side, I’ve met couples with no real direction or sense of purpose. Needless to say, they didn’t last more than a couple of years together.
3) You’re intimate in many ways
No, I’m not implying you’re going through Kama Sutra like there’s no tomorrow, but that you’re intimate beyond the physical.
While physical intimacy is important, emotional and intellectual intimacy are equally vital. In fact, connecting on a deeper level will make an incredible bond. You’ll be inseparable.
If you feel like you aren’t there yet, try exploring new hobbies or interests together. Whether learning a musical instrument, painting, or taking a cooking class. Sharing the learning process is intellectually stimulating and great for bonding.
Going on adventures out of your comfort zone is also a proven way to connect on more levels than one.
4) You’re adventurous together
If you’re sharing new experiences and going on adventures together, you add excitement and variety to your relationship.
It’s also a great sign that your relationship will last because you aren’t complacent and are proactive in seeking new ways to stimulate the both of you.
Together.
When people think of adventures, they think of places halfway across the world. But let’s face it, these can be expensive in many ways.
But adventures can simply mean traveling to new places, trying new activities or sports, or exploring different cuisines. It just means keeping things fresh.
As does the following:
5) You love surprising each other
When you’re in a long-term relationship, things can feel stale, and you stop making an effort for your partner.
That’s why surprising your partner with thoughtful gestures, gifts, or small and unexpected acts of kindness shows that you care and appreciate them.
Again, this doesn’t have to be lavish; sometimes, it’s the little things that matter most. Heartfelt notes, doing the chores, giving them some time to relax, etc., all show how much you love them and are willing to put in the work.
The same goes for the bedroom. If you’re adventurous from time to time, it will keep things fresh and interesting, which is important when you’ve been with someone for 5+ years.
6) You share the same values
Opposites attract. We’ve all heard this one hundreds of times. But is it true? Well, it turns out it’s not.
Partners are incredibly similar in what they love doing, what their political and religious beliefs are, etc.
So, if you have the same values, chances are your relationship will last much longer.
You see, having similar core values and beliefs gives a sense of unity in your relationship. It makes decision-making easier and strengthens your connection on a deeper level.
You don’t have to fight about whether you’ll have kids or not, whether [insert political leader] is good for the country or the worst ever, and so on.
Being on the same page most of the time makes life soooo much easier.
7) You continuously build trust
You don’t build trust just once. It’s a continuous process. You need to keep your promises, be reliable, and communicate openly to sustain and strengthen trust over time.
Being transparent about finances is also crucial. You must discuss budgets, expenses, and financial goals.
When both of you are open about money, it builds trust about financial stability. I’ve known couples where one of the partners built up a mountain of debt on their credit card.
That wasn’t just reckless, but the worst thing was that they hid it from their SO until it was too late, and even their credit score suffered, making it harder to buy a house in the future.
8) You’re present
And lastly, one of the strongest signs you’re in a relationship that will last is if you’re present in the moment.
Being present in the moment when you’re together improves your bond. It’s something we see happening less and less as we’re absorbed in our phones and hardly listen to the person talking to us.
When you go out, you see that even date nights aren’t safe from phones. Couples of all ages are on their phones when they should be talking to each other.
Put away distractions and truly focus on each other. That discussion you’re having on X (God, I hate that name) can wait for a couple of hours.
If you’re in a slump, try these:
1) Travel without traveling
Explore different cultures and cuisines from the comfort of your home. Cook dishes from around the world, watch foreign films, and learn about new traditions together.
It might tempt you to visit together the actual locations one day.
2) Role reversal days
Occasionally switch roles and responsibilities. If one usually cooks, let the other take charge. It adds an element of surprise and fun to your routine.
You also get to appreciate the things your partner is typically doing.
3) Secret messages
Leave hidden notes or messages for your partner to discover unexpectedly. It could be a sweet note in their lunchbox or a message hidden in their favorite book.
It adds suspense to you, too, because you never know when they’ll discover it.
Pro tip: do more than 10. Otherwise, it could be weeks or months before they find one of them.
4) Customized date nights
Plan themed date nights that revolve around a shared interest, movie, or book. Dress up, cook themed meals, and immerse yourselves in the world you both love.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate. But it should revolve around a shared interest. It also typically ends in the bedroom, which is a bonus, of course.
5) Memory jar
Keep a jar filled with small notes detailing your favorite memories or things you love about each other. Read them together on special occasions or when you need a boost.
