If you do any of these 9 things, you’re more emotionally secure than most

Ever notice how some people seem to handle tough times really well, while others fall apart?

The secret could be emotional security.

It’s that cool, calm feeling that helps you deal with life’s curveballs.

Think you’re not emotionally secure? Think again.

You might be doing things that show you’re actually more emotionally solid than you realize.

In this article, we’re going to talk about nine signs that say, “Yep, I’ve got this!” when it comes to handling your feelings.

Let’s get started.

1. You Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations

You know those awkward talks you’ve been dreading? The ones where you have to discuss something uncomfortable like money issues, relationship problems, or work conflicts?

Well, if you’re the type who doesn’t run away from these conversations, give yourself a pat on the back.

Avoiding tough talks is like putting a band-aid on a broken bone; it doesn’t really solve anything.

But if you can face these conversations head-on, you’re showing emotional security big time.

It means you’re not afraid of feelings—yours or anyone else’s—and you’re mature enough to try to solve problems, even when it’s hard.

So if you’re not shying away from those “we need to talk” moments, congrats! You’re already one step ahead in the emotional security game.

2. You Know When to Say No

Ah, the power of saying “no.” It might just be two letters, but for many people, it feels like lifting a hundred-pound weight.

But you? You’ve got this down. When something doesn’t sit well with you or fit into your schedule, you can say “no” without feeling like the world will end.

You see, there’s a funny thing about agreeing to every invite, favor, or request that comes your way:

It doesn’t actually make everyone happy; it just makes you exhausted.

Realizing that you can’t be everything to everyone—and that’s okay—is like emotional gold.

It’s not about being selfish; it’s about understanding your limits.

That’s like having an emotional GPS that keeps you on the right path, so you don’t end up lost in a forest of stress and resentment.

And hey, people respect someone who knows their boundaries. After all, if you can’t look out for yourself, how can you truly be there for others?

3. You’re Not Afraid to Apologize

Okay, this might sound a bit weird at first. Shouldn’t never having to say you’re sorry be a sign of, well, being right all the time?

Nope, not even close. Being willing to say “I’m sorry” actually shows you’re emotionally secure.

Here’s the deal: Everyone messes up, says the wrong thing, or makes a bad decision at some point.

Pretending you’re an exception to this universal rule isn’t just unrealistic—it’s a one-way ticket to Stressville.

When you can own your mistakes and apologize, you’re showing emotional strength.

You’re saying, “I’m human, I messed up, and I want to make it right.”

That’s a whole lot braver than hiding behind your ego.

Plus, saying sorry doesn’t make you weak; it makes you relatable, trustworthy, and someone people want to be around.

4. You Let Yourself Feel, Even When It Hurts

Life’s not always a walk in the park; sometimes it’s more like crawling through a thorny bush.

And guess what? It’s okay to say that it sucks. It’s okay to feel that pain, that disappointment, or that heartbreak. You don’t always have to put on a brave face and pretend everything’s fine.

A lot of people think emotional security means never showing weakness.

But the truth? Pretending you’re an emotional rockstar 24/7 is exhausting and, honestly, a bit fake.

If you can allow yourself to feel—to really sit with your emotions and not shove them in some corner of your mind—you’re living authentically.

Feeling your feelings isn’t a sign you’re falling apart; it’s a sign you’re a complete human being with a full range of emotions.

So cry if you need to, laugh when you can, and don’t apologize for being you.

5. You Don’t Keep Score in Relationships

We’ve all been there. Your friend forgot your birthday last year, so you’re tempted to “forget” theirs this time around.

Or maybe your partner didn’t help with the dishes last night, so you’re thinking of leaving them for them tonight.

But here’s the kicker: If you find yourself not keeping score like this, you’re onto something good, emotionally speaking.

Life’s too short to treat relationships like a tennis match. Keeping score just adds unnecessary stress and can turn a loving relationship into a competitive one—and who needs that?

The reality is, everyone slips up sometimes, forgets things, or has an off day. What counts is the big picture: love, trust, and mutual respect.

When you can let the small stuff slide and focus on what really matters, you’re showing emotional maturity.

It means you understand the give and take of real relationships, and you’re not sweating the small stuff.

And hey, we all know the feeling of being on the receiving end of grace—it’s pretty awesome, isn’t it?

6. You Ask for Help When You Need It

Here’s a plot twist: Being strong doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. In fact, if you’re comfortable asking for help, that’s a clear sign you’re emotionally secure. Wait, what? Yep, you heard right.

It’s easy to think that needing help is a sign of weakness.

But in reality, recognizing when you’re in over your head and reaching out to others is a power move.

It shows you’re aware of your limitations and you’re wise enough to bring in some reinforcements.

You see, no one’s an island.

We’re all part of a bigger community, whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers.

Leaning on others when the going gets tough doesn’t dilute your own strength; it multiplies it.

You gain from other people’s wisdom, skills, and support, making you better equipped to navigate life’s challenges.

So the next time you’re wrestling with a problem, remember: Asking for help is actually a strength.

It’s like you’re the captain of a ship who knows when to call in the crew for a storm. That’s not just smart; that’s emotionally secure.

7. You’re Not Hunting for Validation on Social Media

Look, social media can be fun. Cute dog pics, travel photos, memes—what’s not to love?

But here’s the thing: If your self-worth hinges on how many likes or retweets you get, that’s a shaky foundation to stand on.

Emotionally secure people aren’t using Instagram or Twitter as a yardstick for their value.

We get it; it’s a thrill when a post takes off and the notifications start pouring in.

But if you find yourself not obsessively checking your phone to see how much “love” your latest post got, that’s emotional gold.

This isn’t a “bash social media” rant; it’s just that emotional security comes from within, not from digital thumbs-up or heart emojis from people you may not even know.

Your worth isn’t tied to a highlight reel of carefully curated photos or witticisms in 280 characters or less. You’re more than that, and deep down, you know it.

So go ahead, post that pic or tweet that thought—but do it because you want to share, not because you’re hungry for approval.

The moment you free yourself from the “like” game, you’re not just leveling up in emotional security; you’re reclaiming your self-worth.

8. You Celebrate Others’ Success Without Feeling Threatened

You know that friend who just landed their dream job? Or that cousin who’s been traveling the world? It’s easy to scroll through your news feed and feel a twinge of jealousy.

But if you find yourself genuinely happy for them—like, “let’s-pop-the-champagne” happy—that’s a fantastic sign of emotional security.

It’s almost like cheering at a concert. When you applaud, you’re not losing any of your own music; you’re adding to the experience for everyone.

The same goes for celebrating the wins of people around you. Their success doesn’t make your light dimmer; in fact, it can inspire you to shine even brighter.

It’s pretty liberating to be the kind of person who can hear good news from a friend or family member and think, “That’s awesome, they totally deserve it!” instead of falling down the comparison rabbit hole.

You recognize that everyone has their own path, their own challenges, and their own wins.

And hey, when your time comes—and it will—you’ll have a whole squad ready to cheer you on, too.

9. You’re Okay with Being Alone

Now, this doesn’t mean you want to be a hermit and abandon all human contact.

But if you’re comfortable spending time alone, that’s a pretty big sign you’re emotionally secure.

You don’t always need someone else to fill the silence or validate your choices; you’re your own best company sometimes.

You see, there’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

Being okay with solitude means you can enjoy your own thoughts, your own hobbies, and yes, even your own cooking.

It’s during these quiet moments that you often discover the most about yourself, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and fears.

And here’s the kicker: Being comfortable on your own makes you even better in social situations.

You bring a whole, self-assured person into your interactions with others, not a half-empty cup looking to be filled.

So the next time you find yourself enjoying a book, a walk, or even a solo movie night, give yourself a high five. You’re doing great in the emotional security department.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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