If you display these 11 traits, you probably grew up in a large family

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The things we experience growing up plays a big role in shaping our personalities. And the size of one’s family is an important part of that.

Curious how your large family has affected you personality-wise?

Check out how many of these traits you can relate to.

1) You’re not a whiner

You’re resilient AF.

It might frustrate you if your superiors want you to make another revision to your work, but you know how to tamp those feelings down and remain cool.

And when you’re stuck in traffic, you don’t waste your energy cursing the heavens. You instead shrug it off and find ways to keep yourself entertained.

It’s inevitable for large families to be a bit more chaotic than smaller ones, and growing up in this environment numbs one to life’s little annoyances.

After all, if you complained about every single inconvenience you suffered, there’d be no end to your complaints.

2) You don’t take yourself and your problems too seriously

You’ve witnessed enough troubles together with your family—some petty, others not—that nothing really overwhelms you anymore.

Perhaps you saw your teen sister cry buckets when she got disciplined for her horrible grades, or saw your brother punch a hole through a mirror when his girlfriend broke up with her.

Maybe you even had to witness your parents yell at each other and endure being picked on by your older siblings.

Day in and day out, there’s always some kind of conflict going on and you’ve gotten used to that. 

But thanks to the messy parts of growing up in a large family, you can stay as cool as a cucumber even when things get rough.

3) You know how to wait for your turn

Living in a big family puts you in a situation where you will have to learn how to wait for your turn, no matter how rich that family may be.

You might have had to wait for your turn to speak at the dinner table, for example. Maybe you even have to wait for your turn in the bathroom while getting ready for school.

There’s always a lot of waiting and frustration involved with being in a big family, and all that will have inevitably trained you to be an extra-patient adult.

4) You can take a joke

Kids can be extremely rough and cruel without trying too hard.

No matter how hard your parents might have tried to keep the peace, it’s inevitable that growing up with four or more siblings means having to endure plenty of bullying and mean-spirited jokes.

Someone who hasn’t had the pleasure of dealing with mean-spirited jokes between siblings will have a hard time getting used to hearing it from others.

But because of your experiences as a child, you’ve grown a thick enough skin that even the meanest of jokes don’t ruffle your feathers. And in fact, you can laugh about yourself and your imperfections, too.

5) You’re a cheapskate (but you’re generous)

If you grew up in an average-income household, then chances are your parents have taught you to be frugal. And not just that, they’ve probably taught you to share everything equally.

Things like remembering not to eat a bar of chocolate all in one go, or just getting 5 chips in the bag instead of 20.

Management of resources—especially money—is incredibly important in big families and knowing this skill early is something that has helped you get ahead in life.

6) You’re a good team player

It doesn’t matter whether it’s about being a follower or a leader. You’re good at operating as part of a team.

You have all the skills that can make a team work efficiently—you’re responsible, you communicate well, you compromise, and you think of what’s best for everybody.

And this is a trait that people in big families inevitably have to learn. It’s hard to endure having to live with people for 18 or so years if you don’t learn how to get along with them after all.

This is not to say that people who grew up in small families are necessarily going to be horrible team players, it’s just that people in larger families have more training for it.

7) It’s hard for you to set boundaries

Growing up in a big family might seem like it’s all benefits, but there are plenty of flaws too. One of them is that you’re more likely to have a hard time setting your boundaries.

The larger the family, the more people have to share the same space and resources. In such an environment, there’s little room for firm boundaries.

You might have had to share a room with a sibling or two, and perhaps you couldn’t even afford to close the bathroom door just in case someone needs to get the toothpaste.

Only really rich people can afford to have both big families and privacy, and even then some boundaries are still crossed—they might borrow your clothes without permission and invite their friends into your room, for example.

8) You’re independent (but you love being surrounded by people)

You’re used to sharing the house with at least three other people. You’re rarely alone.

It was perhaps a bit bothersome back when you were little, and you do enjoy being alone now that you’re an adult. And yet, you can’t help but feel a little lonely without other people filling up the space.

So while you strive to be independent, you want to have people around you as well.

9) You know how to speak up

It can be very easy to disappear and be ignored when you have to share your space with five or more other people.

So if you don’t learn how to speak up and make yourself heard, no one will even look at you. 

It’s not like when you’re an only child where they’d even have to ask “So what do you think?” and all eyes are on you.

No! You have to shine to be seen and heard!

So now as an adult, you naturally know how to speak up. And it comes to you so naturally that you might even be admired for it.

10) You have exceptional conflict-resolution skills

Fights are expected even if there are only two people. How much more six or eight or ten?

Of course, there will be fights of all kinds. Big fights, small fights. Direct flights, passive-aggressive fights. Short fights, fights that last a lifetime.

But the good thing is that, since you have to live with each other, you realize that you have no choice but to make up.

Because of this, you’re a conflict-resolution expert. You know how to communicate well, to mediate, to compromise, and most of all—to ask for forgiveness. 

11) You’re reliable

When seven or ten other people rely on you, you better deliver. Otherwise, those seven or ten people will get mad at you…and no one really wants that kind of rage from others.

That’s why, at a very young age, you’ve learned to become responsible.

When you’re assigned to feed the dogs, oh for sure you fed the dogs. And when you were assigned to buy mayo, you bought mayo even if you’re limping and suffering from a heartache.

Final thoughts

Don’t you just feel lucky to have grown up in a large family?

Sure, there are some negative sides to it—it’s probably more stressful, and you really didn’t have some peace and quiet— but it has shaped you into a very resilient and responsible person.

Of course, anyone can learn these skills, but others only learn it later in life. You, on the other hand, have had your training since you’re a baby!

You can climb any mountain and weather any storm.

So take a moment to pause and appreciate how your childhood has impacted the way you live and perceive life right now. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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