Paul Brian
I’d like to think I’m a mature person, but the truth is I have blind spots and behavior that’s not mature at all.
Many of us do.
This weakens the respect that others have for us and also leads to difficulty in forming lasting relationships, building solid careers and progressing in our lives.
If you relate to the behaviors below, you’re not as mature as you think.
Don’t worry, many of us do these things at times: the key is to become more self-aware and reduce how much we engage in these immature and petty behaviors.
1) Following fads
Fads and trends come and go, from bell bottoms to certain drugs to ways of talking or popular films and series.
They may be worth pursuing or harmful, or it could depend on the person and be subjective.
But one thing is certain, and that is that following fads without thinking first is a sign of immaturity.
If you like a trend there’s nothing inherently wrong or gullible about that:
Some trends are fun, interesting or enriching.
But following them without thinking is a sign of immaturity because it indicates the inability or lack of desire to decide things for yourself.
2) Impulsive actions
Impulsivity is something I’ve struggled with a lot from a young age.
It can manifest in many forms.
Most commonly it includes things like:
- Making split-second decisions based on how you feel
- Getting involved with someone on the spur of the moment
- Engaging in big financial transactions or purchases without thinking them through
- Moving to new places and trying new jobs based purely on a temporary idea or inspiration
Acting on impulse is a bad idea even just on a practical level.
At the very least it’s good to have a backup plan if you’re highly spontaneous and often get overtaken by impulse.
3) Hogging the spotlight
It’s nice to get attention and recognition now and then.
But hogging the spotlight crosses the line into immaturity.
This can occur at work, in your relationships and in your general interactions with other people.
It’s not always that you brag or talk about your accomplishments and behaviors as overt as that:
It can be excessive posting on social media…
Trying to outperform and outshine a work colleague on the down-low in order to show off…
Wanting the spotlight to yourself can be a sign that you still have a ways to go in terms of maturity.
4) Never taking the blame
There is such a thing as being too apologetic and saying sorry too often.
But the flip side of never taking the blame is also an issue and is a sign of immaturity.
There are times when we as adults simply have to fess up that we caused a frustrating situation or hurt somebody.
Saying sorry is just part of life, and a part of growing up as a person.
Having the internal confidence and stability to be able to take the blame when you’re at fault is a sign that your maturity is at a healthy level.
5) Insulting people who annoy you
When somebody annoys you, what do you do?
Many of us respond by lashing out and responding impulsively.
This can include raising our voice, being angrily sarcastic or also dropping personal insults and comments.
I’m not saying nobody ever deserves to be insulted, but like it or not, stooping to personal insults is a sign of unevolved maturity.
When you reach a certain level of maturity you’ll learn how to confidently stand up for yourself without making it personal.
6) Getting angry at long waits
I’ve definitely been guilty of this and have tried to improve in the past few years.
When you’re in a long line and it’s moving slowly, what do you do?
Patience can be difficult, especially if you have somewhere to be or are not feeling so swell.
But if you lash out in anger or start cursing and rolling your eyes, it is a sign of a lack of self-control.
I’m not saying we all have to be a perfect angel when we feel a line is moving slow or something is taking forever, but it is important to try to maintain some self-discipline over our reaction.
“An emotionally immature person will likely begin to feel frustrated or aggressive and could yell, curse, or leave the situation because they had to wait.”
7) Telling lies when convenient
There are some times when a little white lie is called for and can avoid drama.
But usually it’s better to just be honest, even in the small things so that honesty becomes a habit and your go-to instinct.
Lying frequently just because it’s convenient is a sign of immaturity.
The reason is that it shows a lack of respect for others and for yourself.
It’s important to just tell the truth when possible so that folks know they can depend on your word even on details.
Plus, details can often become very important as situations evolve, another reason it’s better to be accurate and truthful when possible.
8) Using emotional manipulation
Emotional manipulation comes in many forms, but whatever form it’s in it’s a sign of immaturity.
It often comes out of insecurity or a desire to control.
Whether you’re trying to guilt somebody into doing what you want or manipulate them into something you don’t want, using emotions as weapons is a bad move.
It can work, for sure, but it usually backfires and even when it doesn’t, doing so is something you’ll eventually regret and think back on with sadness.
9) Demanding special treatment
Words like “VIP” and “exclusive package” immediately arouse the interest of most of us.
We want to be treated great and get a deal that nobody else is getting!
It’s human nature.
But demanding or expecting to be treated with white-glove service everywhere you go is both unrealistic and immature.
Life’s messy and even a five star restaurant waiter may be having an off day.
It’s important not to demand special treatment because it leads to frustration and entitled behavior.
10) Judging people on their surface
Surface appearance and behavior does matter.
We all form snap judgments when first meeting somebody.
But judging and forming deep ideas about who someone is based on the surface is a sign of immaturity.
There’s almost always more to somebody than meets the eye (in both positive and negative senses).
The mature individual reserves judging someone if possible and sees what happens by experience instead of first impressions.
11) Ignoring the needs of others
Looking after yourself is a must, and there’s nothing wrong with self-interest.
But ignoring the needs of others completely or feeling that what they need isn’t that important is an immature quality.
Prioritizing your own needs is fine and sometimes necessary:
But being blind or uncaring toward the needs of others is a sign of immaturity.
As kids we are focused only on ourselves and our needs and survival for the most part, which is natural.
But as we mature the idea is to broaden out, become self-sufficient, and begin caring and noticing more about what other people need.
12) Interrupting a lot in conversations
Interrupting is understandable.
There are times when somebody is saying something that’s totally wrong or offensive and you feel the urge to cut them off.
Or there are times you don’t want to forget what you just thought of and feel the need to speak up before you do.
However, if you find that you frequently interrupt in conversations and lack patience to hear people out it’s a sign of insecurity and immaturity.
Patience and listening are two signs of maturity.
13) Wolfing down food sloppily
Another more everyday habit that can signal a lack of maturity is eating very sloppily.
There are times you’re ravenous and you just want to get the food down.
But the true gentleman or lady is defined by an ability to eat with class even when they’re very hungry.
Frankly, if you’re alone and very hungry I don’t blame you at all for eating however you’d like (even if eating too fast can hurt digestion).
But when around others or in public it is worth keeping in mind that eating very rapidly or sloppily can give a negative impression to others.
14) Using the appeal to authority tactic
The appeal to authority tactic is commonly used by politicians, preachers and con men.
The way it works is somebody will refer to a person of authority or iconic reputation in order to claim certitude, righteousness or justify what they are doing or saying.
“As Ronald Reagan once said…”
“TIME magazine actually rated our phone plan the best out of 100 other…”
“Nobody believes that sh*t, c’mon dude. Remember when Stephen Colbert showed how stupid that stuff is and…”
Appeals to authority! If Buddha, Che Guevara or Ronald Reagan said anything I can judge it on its own merits instead of instantly rejecting or accepting it because they said it.
