If you display these 13 behaviors, you’re definitely an introvert

You would rather stay in, curled up with a book, than attend a party.

And when you do attend a party, you’re in a corner petting the host’s dog instead of chatting up the other guests.

Recognized yourself?

Congrats: you’re probably an introvert. Welcome to the club!

As a long-time member, I’m happy to report the benefits: you’re creative, observant, and have quality friends.

But perhaps you’re still not 100% sure you fit in.

No worries; there’s more than one way to tell.

Without further ado, if you display these 13 behaviors, you’re definitely an introvert.

Let’s figure it out once and for all.

1) You revel in solitude

Introverts don’t just handle solitude well. They prefer it.

See, being alone isn’t a punishment for us. It’s how we recharge.

If you get excited by the idea of spending an entire afternoon binge-watching your favorite show, taking a long walk by yourself, or re-organizing the pantry, there’s a good chance you’re an introvert.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t get lonely. Humans are social beings, and connecting with others still ranks high on our list of needs.

However, if too much socializing drains you and you feel spent after a night on the town, you’re likely one of us.

This brings me to my next point. 

2) You need to recharge after large gatherings

No matter how much you might enjoy being on your own, there are times when you have to go out and be among people.

The dreaded parties I mentioned in the intro. Weddings. Concerts. Work events.

If you’re an introvert, these large gatherings leave you exhausted and longing for quiet time.

You might even find yourself retreating to the bathroom every now and then to compose yourself. (Guilty!)

I’m not saying you can’t have fun when you engage in this type of socializing.

Personally, I’m a big fan of concerts and dancing in the middle of a crowd. But once the concert is over, I need about one to three business days to recharge.

If you’re in the same boat, you probably agree with the following item on the list too.   

3) …and often gravitate towards one-on-one interactions

Introverts will take connecting deeply with people they care about over making small talk with strangers every time.

As a result, they gravitate towards one-on-one interactions. Preferably in a quiet place, over a delicious beverage.

Does that sound like you?

Luckily, you don’t even have to schedule that many hangouts. Because…

4) You choose quality over quantity when it comes to friends

There’s a common misconception going around that introverts hate people.

That’s not true. We’re just selective about who we associate with.

If you have a big circle of friends and regularly hit the town to see them? Then you’re probably an extrovert.

But if you only have a handful of friends you cherish deeply, there’s a high possibility you’re somewhere on the introverted spectrum.

Granted, it gets more challenging to make friends as you age, so that might also have something to do with it.

However, I’ve never been one to belong to a huge group. I tried to fake it when I was younger, especially in my twenties, but the connections I made with people during that stage were superficial and didn’t stand the test of time.  

Now, I can count the number of true friends on the fingers of one hand. Yet, I’m positive they’ll be by my side forever.

5) You take a while to warm up to people

Similarly, introverts aren’t particularly open when meeting someone new.

They’re guarded and less eager to spill out everything about their life to a total stranger.

If it takes you time to warm up to someone – even if it’s a friend of a friend or a potential romantic partner – then you’re definitely an introvert.

The good news is that once you finally let someone in, that relationship has the potential to last.

After all, you spent a lot of time laying down its foundation.

6) You shy away from conflict

If you’re an introvert, you don’t do well with conflict.

You get easily overwhelmed when you fight, so it can be difficult to find the words to express yourself.

As a result, you probably:

  • Rarely speak up when something bothers you
  • Hold your anger inside until you eventually explode
  • Channel your anger into exercise
  • Become passive-aggressive
  • Rehearse arguments while in the shower

You know what I found helps? Pausing an argument.

If you find yourself overstimulated in the middle of a fight, suggest a time-out and walk away for a few minutes to gather your thoughts.

This way, you can keep a level head and press un-pause when you feel more energized.

7) You would rather text than talk

On the same note, introverts are generally better suited to express themselves in writing.

This allows us to assess what we want to say carefully and avoid miscommunication.  

Do you prefer to text rather than call?

E-mails instead of meetings?

DMs over FaceTime?

You’re definitely an introvert too.

8) You seek out opportunities to work alone

I’ve always been wary of group projects in school. Turns out, this revulsion followed me all the way to adulthood.

While I can work well as part of a team, I prefer to work independently.

There’s no wonder I built a career that relies on me sitting alone with a laptop and furiously typing words into the void.

Perhaps you’re an entrepreneur or freelancer? Whatever the case, if you thrive in solitary work environments, you’re definitely an introvert.

Even when you work in a big corporation or office – if you regularly seek out opportunities to do your tasks in silence, with no interruptions, you still fit an introvert’s description to a T.   

9) … and get stressed in hectic environments

Introverts find the constant noise of a bustling office draining, to the point where it can be hard for them to stay focused and productive.

You might not even realize that’s the case. I had a friend who worked for big corporations all her life and was fine with it.

When the pandemic came, she started to work from home, and she realized that she’s much more efficient when there’s no one around to disrupt her flow.

She also noticed that she had more energy at the end of the day since she was no longer required to chat and mingle with her co-workers constantly.    

Is that you? Then you’re an introvert.

If you can’t work independently, I highly recommend investing in a sturdy pair of noise-canceling headphones.

10) You like to get lost in your rich inner life

Introverts commonly have a rich inner life, as well as a vivid and expansive imagination.

They like to daydream, spend hours lost in a fantasy world inside their mind, and often explore different realms of thought and possibility.

While this can make them come across as aloof, letting your mind wander can encourage personal growth and self-discovery.

In other words, it’s a good thing.

11) … and you’re very self-aware

Speaking of self-discovery, introverts tend to be self-aware.

Since they spend so much time exploring their thoughts and emotions, they have a better understanding of who they are, warts and all.

You’re definitely an introvert if you’re prone to introspection and reflection:

  • You journal or write down your thoughts regularly
  • You question your beliefs and values
  • You seek a deeper meaning in almost everything you do
  • You examine your feelings and emotions to get to the root of who you are

12) You frequently overthink

On the other hand, all that time spent dwelling on stuff can lead to overthinking – something introverts struggle with big time.

Overthinking takes many shapes and forms, and it’s not particularly productive.

It can involve ruminating on past mistakes, being unable to make a decision to save your life, embracing perfectionism, and overanalyzing interactions and relationships.

If overthinker is your middle name, there’s a strong possibility you’re an introvert.

13) You stay away from the spotlight

Finally, introverts don’t like to be the center of attention. They’re usually uncomfortable with public speaking or performing in front of an audience.

Introverts prefer to blend in the background and let others enjoy the public eye.

I don’t even like it when my friends sing me “Happy Birthday.”

That said, there are situations when introverts can be OK with sharing more of themselves, especially if they take advantage of digital communication tools.

For instance, there’s no reason why an introvert can’t be an influencer as long as they balance their online presence with alone time.

In general, though, if you hate the spotlight, you’re definitely an introvert.

Bottom line

You made it this far, so what’s the verdict?

Will we see you at the next introvert club meeting?

Just kidding. We never meet in person anyway. 


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