If you can’t remember the last time you felt joyful in life, say goodbye to these 10 habits

Ever had a moment where you can’t quite recall the last time you felt genuine joy? It’s a tough spot to be in, trust me, I’ve been there.

It often boils down to certain habits we’ve held onto, habits that are draining our happiness without us even realizing.

But don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom. The good news is that by recognizing and bidding farewell to these 10 specific habits, you can start to bring joy back into your life.

Let’s dive into what these habits are and how you can kick them to the curb. 

1) Mindless scrolling

We’ve all been there – stuck in an endless loop of scrolling through social media, news sites, or whatever catches our fancy on the internet. It’s easy to lose track of time and before we know it, hours have slipped away.

This habit, my friends, is a joy-stealer. It’s like a black hole that sucks away our time and energy, leaving us feeling drained and unfulfilled.

Why? Because it distracts us from being present in our own lives. It takes us away from the here and now, and immerses us in a digital world that often doesn’t align with our true selves.

Mindful living encourages us to be fully present and engaged in whatever we’re doing at the moment. That means putting down the phone, closing the laptop, and truly experiencing the world around us.

2) Overcommitting

I don’t know about you, but I used to have a terrible habit of saying ‘yes’ to everything. Whether it was work projects, social engagements, or volunteering opportunities, I felt like I couldn’t say ‘no’.

But here’s the thing – overcommitting is a fast track to burnout and stress, two things that can seriously dampen our joy.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, once said: “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” In other words, it’s okay to prioritize your needs and set boundaries.

Learning to say ‘no’ is an act of self-care. It means recognizing your limits and respecting your own time and energy. It’s about creating space for what truly matters in your life.

It’s not about being selfish – it’s about being mindful of your capacities and needs. When you feel tempted to overcommit, take a pause, take a breath, and consider if it’s really worth sacrificing your joy.

3) Neglecting self-care

Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that neglecting self-care is a surefire way to drain joy from your life. I used to think that self-care was indulgent, something to be squeezed in only if there was time after everything else.

But boy, was I wrong.

Self-care isn’t selfish. In fact, it’s essential. It’s about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. It’s about recognising that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

When I started prioritising self-care – be it a good night’s sleep, regular exercise, or just taking a few moments of silence each day – I noticed a significant positive shift in my mood and overall sense of joy.

4) Living in the past or future

Many of us have the habit of living in the past or the future, and I’m no exception. We either ruminate over past mistakes or worry about future uncertainties. But as the famous saying goes, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.”

This quote underscores a simple yet profound truth: The only moment we truly have is the present. Dwelling in the past or the future robs us of the joy we can experience right now.

The practice of mindfulness can help us break this habit. It’s about anchoring ourselves in the present moment, observing our thoughts and feelings without judgement.

A practical way to do this is to engage in daily mindfulness exercises. This could be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, or consciously immersing yourself in a daily activity like walking or eating.

By doing so, you’ll find that you’re not only more present but also more capable of finding joy in everyday moments.

5) Ignoring your passions

In my journey towards building a happier life, I realized that one of the key elements that I had been neglecting was my passion. I was so caught up in the day-to-day grind that I forgot to make time for what truly lights me up.

And let me tell you, ignoring your passions is a surefire way to drain joy from your life.

Our passions make us feel alive, energized, and connected to our core. They are an essential part of who we are and ignoring them is like ignoring a part of ourselves.

That’s why I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. It’s a practical guide that can help you reconnect with your passions and reimagine your life in a way that aligns with your true self.

6) Skipping meals

This may sound simple, but skipping meals can have a big impact on your mood and overall sense of joy. I’ve noticed that when I’m too busy to eat or intentionally skip meals, my energy drops and my mood tends to follow.

Our bodies need fuel to function properly, including our brains. When we’re hungry, it’s harder to concentrate, our patience runs thin and we’re more likely to feel stressed or agitated.

The practical element here is simple: make time for meals. Even on the busiest days, ensure you’re nourishing your body with regular, balanced meals.

Not only will you feel better physically, but you’ll also notice a positive shift in your mood and energy levels. And when we’re feeling good physically, it’s much easier to tap into the joy of life.

7) Constant multitasking

As someone who used to pride himself on being a great multitasker, I can tell you firsthand that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, it might feel like you’re getting more done, but at what cost?

Constant multitasking can lead to burnout, stress, and a decrease in productivity. Not to mention, it robs us of the ability to fully engage in and enjoy the task at hand.

Mindfulness teaches us the value of single-tasking – focusing our attention on one task at a time. It’s about immersing ourselves fully in what we’re doing, whether it’s working on a project, spending time with loved ones, or savoring a meal.

I’ve found that by practicing single-tasking, I’m not only more productive but I also find more joy in my daily activities.

8) Negative self-talk

We all have that little voice in our heads that can be less than kind. It’s the voice that says you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough… the list goes on and on.

But as the celebrated scientist and author, Dr. Carl Sagan, once said: “One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle.”

This quote really resonates when it comes to negative self-talk. If we keep telling ourselves these negative narratives, we start believing them, even when they’re far from the truth.

Negative self-talk is a joy thief. It erodes our self-esteem and can make us feel unworthy of happiness.

The next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, try to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if you would speak to a friend in the same way. If not, then it’s time to change the narrative.

9) Pursuing perfection

Here’s a counterintuitive one for you – pursuing perfection can actually rob us of joy. I used to be a perfectionist, always striving for the flawless outcome, the perfect score, the immaculate presentation.

But here’s what I’ve learned: perfection is not only unattainable, but it can also make us unhappy. It puts us under constant pressure and makes us overly critical of ourselves and others.

Life is beautifully imperfect, and that’s what makes it real and meaningful. Embracing our imperfections, our mistakes, and our flaws can bring us a deeper sense of joy and contentment.

10) Lack of sleep

The final habit that often goes overlooked is a lack of sleep. We live in a society that sometimes glorifies busyness and pulling all-nighters, but the truth is, neglecting sleep can seriously impact our joy.

Sleep is essential for our physical health and mental well-being. When we’re sleep-deprived, we’re more susceptible to mood swings, irritability, and stress. It’s hard to feel joyful when you’re constantly running on empty.

The solution here is as simple as it is practical: prioritize sleep. Aim for 7-9 hours per night, and try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule.

You’ll be surprised at just how much a good night’s rest can contribute to your overall sense of joy and happiness in life.

Conclusion

Joy isn’t something that just happens – it’s a state of being that we can actively cultivate by breaking certain habits and adopting healthier ones.

Each of these 10 habits can drain joy from our lives, but the good news is, we have the power to change them. It might not be easy, and it might not happen overnight, but every step you take towards breaking these habits brings you one step closer to a more joyful life.

For further guidance on your journey to a happier life, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. It’s a practical guide filled with actionable tips and strategies to help you navigate life’s challenges and cultivate more joy in your everyday life.