If you can’t remember the last time you felt excited by your partner, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

There’s a significant line between feeling secure with your partner and feeling stuck in a rut.

The key difference?

Excitement.

If you can’t remember the last time your heart fluttered at the thought of your partner, some behaviors need to change.

I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast.

I believe it’s crucial to maintain a spark in our relationships, even when we’ve been with someone for a long time.

In this article, I’m going to highlight nine behaviors that might be dulling your connection. The aim? To help you say goodbye to them, rekindle your excitement, and reignite the passion in your relationship.

1) Ignoring the small things

In the quest for excitement, we often overlook the tiny, everyday moments.

But it’s these little things that can make a big difference.

They can add up to a powerful feeling of connection.

Think about it. When was the last time you appreciated your partner for taking out the trash?

Or thanked them for a delicious meal they cooked?

We often get so caught up in our day-to-day routines that we fail to acknowledge these small acts of kindness.

This lack of appreciation can dull our excitement over time.

So how do you turn this around?

Start paying attention to these small things. Make it a point to express your gratitude for them.

Remember, it’s all about reviving the excitement in your relationship, and appreciating the small things is a great place to start.

2) Taking each other for granted

It’s easy to slip into a comfort zone when you’re in a long-term relationship.

I know, because it happened to me.

A few years into my relationship, I realized that my partner and I had fallen into a routine.

We were just coasting along, not really cherishing each other’s company.

We’d stopped making an effort to keep things fresh and exciting. It was as though we had taken each other for granted.

And that’s when I knew something had to change.

So we started making a conscious effort to appreciate each other more.

We made time for regular date nights, expressed our love more frequently, and started being more present in our moments together.

This shift in behavior not only brought back the excitement but also deepened our bond.

As world-renowned relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman puts it, “Love is a choice you make every day.”

So let’s make the choice to not take our partners for granted and bring back the excitement in our relationships.

3) Living with a big ego

One of the biggest excitement killers in a relationship is ego.

When we let our egos take control, we end up focusing on ourselves instead of our partners.

I’ve noticed this in my own life and the lives of others.

When we prioritize our needs and wants over those of our partners, it creates a rift in the relationship.

And here’s the thing: It’s not always easy to recognize when our ego is getting in the way.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into how our egos can often hinder our relationships and personal growth.

And more importantly, I share practical strategies on how to keep your ego in check.

Reducing your ego doesn’t mean you’re making yourself smaller.

On the contrary, it means you’re making space for your partner and your relationship to flourish.

4) Neglecting emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of any thriving relationship. It’s the glue that holds everything together.

But here’s the thing:

Emotional intimacy isn’t just about sharing deep conversations or expressing love.

It’s about being vulnerable with each other, understanding each other’s feelings, and offering emotional support.

Psychological studies show that couples with high levels of emotional intimacy tend to have more satisfying and exciting relationships.

This is because emotional intimacy fosters a sense of security, which can then open the door to excitement and novelty.

So how do you boost emotional intimacy?

Start by sharing your feelings openly with your partner.

Listen to them with empathy and understanding. Show interest in their thoughts and emotions.

5) Avoiding conflict

Here’s something you might not expect:

Conflict can actually be good for your relationship.

Yes, you read that right.

But let me clarify, I’m not talking about destructive, never-ending battles.

I’m referring to healthy disagreements that are handled with respect and understanding.

Avoiding conflict and sweeping issues under the rug might seem like the easier route.

But in reality, it only creates tension and resentment, draining the excitement out of your relationship.

On the other hand, facing conflicts head-on can lead to better understanding, stronger connection, and ultimately, more excitement in your relationship.

Remember: It’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding each other better and growing together.

So next time a disagreement arises, don’t shy away from it.

Instead, see it as an opportunity to deepen your bond and reignite the excitement in your relationship.

6) Neglecting self-care

It’s easy to lose ourselves in our relationships, forgetting that we are individuals with our own needs and desires.

But here’s the catch:

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s going to be hard to bring excitement and energy into your relationship.

Make time for self-care.

Whether it’s a calming yoga session, a brisk walk in the park, or simply reading a good book, do things that replenish your energy and make you feel good about yourself.

Because when you feel good about yourself, it reflects in your relationship. You become more present, more engaged, and more excited about your partner.

Take care of yourself first. Only then can you truly take care of your relationship and rekindle the excitement with your partner.

7) Forgetting to dream together

Dreaming together is a beautiful way to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. It gives you something to look forward to, something to work towards together.

A few years back, my partner and I realized we had stopped dreaming together.

We were so caught up in our daily routines that we had lost sight of our shared dreams and aspirations.

So, we started setting goals again, big and small.

Whether it was planning our next vacation or envisioning where we wanted to be in five years, dreaming together brought a fresh wave of excitement into our relationship.

Take that step today. Start dreaming together, and watch how it breathes new life into your relationship.

8) Stopping the surprises

Surprises have a unique way of injecting excitement into our lives.

And when it comes to relationships, they can be a game-changer.

You don’t need grand gestures to surprise your partner. Even small, unexpected acts of kindness can make a world of difference.

Perhaps it’s a surprise breakfast in bed, or maybe it’s simply leaving a sweet note for them to find.

These little surprises can go a long way in breaking the monotony and reigniting the spark in your relationship.

So let’s fill our relationship’s emotional bank account with delightful surprises and rekindle the excitement with our partners.

In conclusion: It’s all about conscious effort

Relationships, like most things in life, require consistent effort and mindfulness. The excitement we feel towards our partner isn’t just a spontaneous emotion; it’s something we can actively cultivate.

By consciously eliminating the behaviors we’ve discussed, we can create a deeper connection with our partners, rekindle the spark, and infuse our relationships with excitement.

Now, this doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. As I’ve mentioned in my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, letting go of certain behaviors and making mindful changes can be challenging.

But the results are worth it.

Every step you take towards a healthier and more exciting relationship is a testament to your commitment to your partner. It’s about choosing to invest in your relationship every single day.