If you can relate to these 9 signs, being alone brings out the best in you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

If being alone refreshes your mind, soothes your emotions and fills your soul, then, clearly, it brings out the best in you.

But what if it makes you feel anxious, bored, deflated or low in mood? What if it gives you a serious attack of FOMO? Well, that might not be because you’re just a massive extrovert.

Perhaps something’s going on in your life that’s preventing you from relaxing and sinking into glorious alone time.

Maybe you have too much of it, and your alone time is becoming lonely time.

You may even have some unprocessed trauma that links being alone with being abandoned or rejected.

Introvert or extrovert, alone time is such a powerful wellness and self-development tool. It nourishes every aspect of our lives. So, if you’re not enjoying it, it’s worth looking at why.

Then you can reap all the benefits that alone time offers you.

Being alone brings out the best in you if it…

1) Gets you connected with yourself

First thing’s first. If you’re alone, it’s not like there’s no one there…

You’re there!

Alone time is time to get present, get grounded and really connect with yourself.

It may take some persistence and patience at first. Especially if you’re more of an extrovert, or if you haven’t had a lot of practise at being alone…

You may have to sit through some FOMO, some boredom or some anxiety. But when you keep going, the benefits of being alone start to come through.

Here are some ideas for getting connected to yourself during alone time:

  • Journalling gives you access to your thoughts and feelings – just write down what comes to you, be curious and accepting and don’t judge it.
  • Drawing is another way of journalling which may appeal to you more. You can also take time to feel into what you’ve drawn and intuitively understand what your pictures are communicating.
  • Moving your body in some new and intuitive way helps you access to your emotions, and release them too. Treat it as play and enjoy the freedom to explore movement. Dance like nobody’s watching!
  • Take yourself out somewhere new and revel in all the sights, sounds and other sensory experiences. Notice the pluses of being alone – maybe you talk to people more when you’re out and about on your own. Or you tune into nature more, or enjoy listening to music. Again, see your alone time as fun, explore and make new discoveries.
  • Use alone time to develop self-awareness. Ask yourself, what am I feeling? What am I thinking? What do I want right now? What do I need? What’s bringing me joy? What makes me sad? Explore it all, and this will soon be a very fruitful habit, as I’ll explain later.

So, getting connected to yourself while alone really brings out the best in you… Alone time also works its magic when it…

2) Connects you with nature

Being outside in nature by yourself has a magic and power all of its own, which ripples into every area of your life.

When you treat alone time in nature as a game of discovery and exploration, it really brings out the best in you. That’s what those people you see out walking on their own know!

Really engaging the senses and getting present is hugely enriching. You can use this time to develop self-awareness, and even do the self-questioning exercise above as you wander.

Another great alone time practice to do out in nature in intuitive walking. Get yourself out somewhere beautiful and maybe take a brisk walk first to get your blood pumping.

Then – slow down.

Way down.

Wander from one landmark to another, slowly, going wherever you feel drawn. Tap into the sense of flow around you and allow yourself to just naturally move. Try some rhythmic breathing too.

Connecting with nature helps relieve stress, gives you perspective, enhance creativity and grounds you so that you’re more resilient and better able to face life’s challenges.

It reminds you that you’re part of something much greater than yourself, which is very freeing.

Here are some more ways in which being alone and self-nurturing brings out the best in you…

3) Opportunities for self-nurture

Being in nature is a great way to be nurtured by alone time.

So are:

  • Taking a luxurious bath
  • Gardening
  • Reading and relaxing in beautiful spaces
  • Cooking something delicious and healthy, just for you
  • Driving out somewhere alone to sit and enjoy a cup of tea
  • Trying something nurturing you don’t usually have time for – maybe doing a yoga class on YouTube or learning some breathwork techniques
  • Visiting a museum, stately home or open garden

Give some of these a go and you’ll feel replenished and rejuvenated by alone time in no time!

4) Gives you time to reflect

Wandering in the gardens of a stately home without your lovely but chatty friends or family in tow also gives you time to reflect.

But – reflect on what?

When you slow down and tune in, you may find yourself reflecting on things that have been bothering you – things that haven’t yet made it into your conscious awareness.

Old pain and traumas that have never been processed can quietly make themselves known.

You can get lost in a train of thought, rather than meeting demands for more crisps / more elephants / less ‘boring old paintings’, depending on where you are!

You may wonder why you’re thinking about something, and then, you realise! Sudden emotion can come up for release, or a problem gets a fresh insight.

You see things in a new light, or someone’s actions maybe make a little more sense.

In essence, you ‘catch up’ with yourself. That means you can stop living so much in your head.

You’re more grounded, embodied and present. You have more empathy and compassion for others. And all this all, naturally…

5) Helps you be playful and curious

With more processing time comes a lot of dropping of baggage, and that frees you up to play, explore and get curious in the moment.

You can reverse engineer this too. Take yourself out somewhere alone, or tip out the craft drawer onto the table, find your inner child and… play!

This will help you process more and drop more baggage – it’s a virtuous circle and another way in which being alone brings out the best in you.

6) Sparks your creativity

All this self-nurture and self-reflection, coupled with playfulness and curiosity, is only going to lead to one thing.

Binge-watching box sets on Netflix.

No, I’m kidding!

Creativity, of course.

When we’re creating more, we’re consuming less. We’re more alive, more engaged and we’re driving our own experience.

For me, this is one of the biggest ways in which being alone brings out the best in me!

7) Gives you vision, mission and purpose

So, alone time fills you up, gets you resourced, caught up with yourself and playful… then your creativity starts firing on all cylinders.

And then… This starts to shape into something so powerful you’ll never want to skip alone time again. This is the secret that people who aren’t too ‘busy’ to spend time alone know. Here it is:

Being along brings out the best in your because it gives you a strong sense of vision, mission and purpose.

When you’re alone you just hear you, and only you. It’s not all about collaborations, pressures, expectations and compromises. You get clear on your purpose, what you want to bring to others and how you want to make a positive impact on the world.

Of course, down the road that’s going to involve other people and a whole load of non-alone time – which is awesome too (just don’t forget your alone time)!

Here’s how being alone pays dividends when you step back into the world, too.

8) It makes you more resilient

Being de-stressed, well-regulated, playful, curious, creative and clear on your purpose, vision and mission means you’re far more resilient when you re-enter the fray of busy, day-to-day life.

Your nervous system won’t get all up in survival mode at the first traffic jam or challenge at work.

You won’t be stepping out in a defensive mindset, head down, just looking to get through.

You’ll be more connected with yourself, which means you’ll connect better with others.

You’ll be a great collaborator, balancing listening with talking, planning with action and encouraging others with high standards.

You’ll bring that playful, curious, creative energy to both problem solving and project development, and others will thrive on it. All of which will…

9) Makes you better company

You’ll be better company for others because you’ve filled up your own well first.

You’ve put on your own oxygen mask, before trying to help anyone else.

You’ll have more patience and tolerance when being in company is hard.

You’ll be quicker to create fun and you’ll find yourself being the one to lift the vibe.

In short, when being alone brings out the best in you, you’ll be better in company too!

Final thoughts

Make time for time alone – and enjoy watching it bring out the best in you!

Fill yourself with all these amazing benefits and watch them ripple into your life, creative work, career and relationships. You’ll be so glad you did!

Now, excuse me, I’ve got a solo walk to take…

Kelly Mckain

I’m Kelly McKain, the author of over sixty fiction titles – my latest is The Feeling Good Club , a mindfulness series for kids. I love writing, yoga, horses, dancing and spending time in nature – as well as hanging out with my amazing kids and partner. I’m also a qualified Breathwork Facilitator and the founder of Soulsparks , a platform for intuitive guidance, energy healing and exploring non-duality. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram .

If a woman feels like her life is getting boring, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

9 phrases only genuine people use, according to psychology