If these 10 things don’t bother you anymore, you’ve achieved true inner peace

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Inner peace is something that all of us want…but it has always been hard to achieve, especially in this day and age!

This is the reason why there are entire philosophies around how one may achieve it.

And while there are some who’ve achieved it earlier in life, most of us are able to achieve it only when we’re much older and wiser.

If you’re curious to know if you’ve already achieved true inner peace, ask yourself if these things don’t bother you anymore. 

1) Your past

You used to feel shame, anger, and regret when thinking about the past. 

Perhaps your parents didn’t understand you or they were plain irresponsible (even abusive). Perhaps you wasted time and energy dating narcissistic people who didn’t actually care about you.

But now? You can think of your past and feel at peace with it

Sure, there are things that you wish could have gone a little differently…but you won’t let those regrets keep you chained to the past.

For better or for worse, you’re the person you are now because you lived through those experiences.

So instead of anger, you now feel pride for the person you have become.

2) Life’s uncertainties

You used to get extremely antsy whenever you simply couldn’t predict what might happen next. But now you’re perfectly comfortable with not knowing what’s going to come tomorrow, or next month, or next year.

You’ve come to accept that life is full of uncertainties and while it’s always nice to have a plan for the future, worrying too much about what has yet to come will only stress you out needlessly.

For example, when you find yourself dating someone, you don’t keep asking yourself “will this lead to anything serious?” and instead just go with the flow.

Questions like “will I remain single forever?” and “what if I die tomorrow?” don’t keep you up at night anymore.

Not only have you accepted that you’re never going to have all the answers, you’re also comfortable telling yourself “so what if the answer is yes?”

3) Other people’s moods

You are especially good at sensing other people’s moods— probably because you’re an empath—and it used to bother you a lot. But now you simply can’t be bothered.

So what if someone’s angry, grumpy, or having mood swings at a hundred miles an hour?

After all, they’re probably not directing those feelings at you and if they are, it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it.

You don’t take their moods personally… because they’re THEIR moods, and it’s not like you’re responsible for their feelings.

If they have a problem with you somehow, then you can always deal with it like adults and talk about it with you. Until then, you simply let them be.

4) Other people’s perception of you

You can be the nicest person in the world, and someone out there will still hate you so much or find you annoying.

And you can try to be as classy as you can be, but there’s always going to be someone who thinks you’re tacky and crude.

You’ve come to understand that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you simply can’t impress everybody… and that’s fine! You don’t like everyone, either.

So now, rather than worrying yourself silly whether people think you’re good, you simply try your best to BE good—to be the best person you can be.

And honestly, you’ve found that life is much more fulfilling when you simply don’t give a damn.

5) Whether your parents are proud of you or not

Many of us are driven by a desire to win our parents’ approval, regardless of whether they treated us well or not.

And this desire does not necessarily go away with age either—some people grow out of it by fifteen, but plenty spend their twilight years still craving for the day their parents will finally say “I’m proud of what you’ve become!”

Luckily for you, you’re not that bothered anymore about what your parents think of you. 

You don’t consider their impression of you as the number one factor when making decisions regarding marriage, having children, or finding a job.

Sure, you want them to be happy, but not at your own expense. Your life is your own, and whether your parents approve of your decisions is a bonus and not your raison d’etre.

6) If your exes are now miserable without you

You used to obsessively stalk your exes just to see if they’re miserable, and have stayed miserable without you.

It used to give you comfort to know that they’re struggling, or that they haven’t found someone to love them. 

It was almost like their misery was like a sign that there’s some kind of cosmic revenge in play.

But those days are long gone, and knowing that your exes are happy doesn’t bother you one bit.

In fact, you actually wish them well and it doesn’t matter whether they broke your heart—you want to see them happy.

To you, the fact that you are exes means that you simply weren’t meant to be. And because of this, you might even have become good friends with some of your exes.

7) Your flaws and imperfections

You used to have a long list of things you wanted to change about yourself—like your habit of going “ummm…” every five seconds and your wavy hair.

You used to spend every waking moment trying to fix these “flaws” but in doing so did little but tire yourself out.

You’ve since come to realize that most of these things you thought of as “flaws” aren’t really flaws. They’re just part of what makes you… well, you.

And now you’ve come to embrace who you are completely.

Sure, there are things that do need to be dealt with, of course. If you’re a gossip or if you have bad breath, then you still need to fix those.

But you’re gentler with yourself and you give yourself enough time to work on your weaknesses. 

No more “Change yourself now or nobody will like you!”, just a gentle “Everyone has flaws that they’re actively working on…these are yours. I believe in you.”

8) The mistakes you committed

Letting go of the past becomes much harder when mistakes are involved—especially the ones YOU committed. Some of those mistakes have haunted you for years… decades, even!

Perhaps you used to wake up at night thinking “If only I didn’t break up with my big love…”, or “If only I took the scholarship”, or “If only I was a better child/ sibling/ friend/ parent…”

Luckily, you’ve learned to forgive yourself.

You now know that you did your best. You DID try, and there’s no reason to castigate yourself for your past choices and misgivings.

Besides, you’re also wiser. Who’s to say that making the “better” decisions you wish you did would have actually made things better in the long run? 

Who’s to say that you’ll truly be happy staying with your first love, or taking the scholarship? We can never tell…and this thought now gives you comfort.

9) If you’re winning in life

You used to be obsessed with success. You used to dream that you’ll “have it all” by 25—a house, a car, a loving partner by your side and a kid to dote on.

But as things usually go, you likely fell behind schedule. So you resolved to achieve twice as much by 30, then 35, then 40…

But even if you eventually did achieve the goals you set, you still felt empty. There were still people who got further than you did, so you didn’t feel like you’ve actually “won.”

And this feeling of never being enough would have consumed you had you not saved yourself before it was too late.

At some point you stopped, thought about it, and realized that you ARE already winning in life. You counted your blessings and realized that you had already lived a rich and fulfilling life and everything you need is just within your reach.

10) If you’re doing enough for your future

You used to worry all the time about the future. So much so that you barely paid attention to the present.

You used to have nightmares about being ill, poor, and alone at 50, so you worked yourself to the bone to make sure you’re all set.

This kind of mindset has actually made you more stressed and unhappy.

Luckily, you decided that instead of wasting the present worrying about the future, you’ll instead manage your fears and live in the moment.

Sure, you work hard,  exercise, and meet people to make sure you have a good future. But you tell yourself that the present is the most important.

You’ve also learned to trust the Universe and the people around you…that no matter what happens, you’ll be fine.

Final thoughts

Sooo…can you relate to most of the things in this list?

Then congrats. You’ve probably already attained inner peace.

Savor it, but don’t be complacent.

The thing with inner peace is that it’s something that you can have once and have forever. 

Having inner peace is something that takes effort to not just achieve, but also maintain.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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