Adrian Volenik
Whether it’s insecurity, approval, or simply wanting a deeper connection, some people simply want validation from us.
But how do you recognize that? Well, that’s where this article comes into play. I’ve gathered many phrases that someone secretly wanting validation from you might use.
Let’s dig in!
1) “I’ve always admired your opinion on these matters”
Let’s start with one of the most obvious phrases. When someone expresses admiration for your opinions, they’re indirectly seeking validation.
They’re likely hoping that you’ll appreciate their thoughts and acknowledge their understanding of the topic.
The person telling you this sees you as an expert when it comes to this topic and wants validation from you.
2) “I don’t know why, but I think you’d agree with me”
This phrase suggests that the person values your perspective and seeks your validation for their opinion or viewpoint.
They hope you’ll share a similar perspective, reinforcing their own thoughts. Telling you something like this obviously comes from a place of uncertainty, and they desperately want your input and, above all, agreement.
3) “I wasn’t sure if I should share this with anyone, but I trust you”
By voicing their trust in you, they seek confirmation of their decision to confide in you. They want you to validate their choice to open up.
They apparently want to share something incredibly important and secret with someone. Because they trust you more than anyone, they share it with you.
Hopefully, you were the right person for this and won’t disappoint them.
4) “I hope I’m making sense”
Asking for advice when trying to formulate what you want to say coherently is sometimes tough. Especially when many emotions are mixed and involved.
This phrase reveals their uncertainty about how well they’re sharing their thoughts. They want validation by hoping you confirm that their message is coherent and understandable.
They’re not so much looking for validation of what they’re telling you as much as wanting confirmation they’re making sense at all.
Don’t be afraid to ask additional questions. Better be safe than sorry and hurt their feelings by misunderstanding them.
5) “I’m not sure if this is good enough”
When someone says this, they’re looking for reassurance about the quality of their work, idea, or effort. They simply want validation that their work meets a certain standard.
Anyone that starts a new job, for instance, won’t have too much confidence in their work, especially if they don’t have experience in the field.
They also don’t want to disappoint their colleagues and managers and look incompetent in front of them.
6) “I feel like I’m not as knowledgeable as you are”
This is something a friend or a coworker might say about a topic that you’re both fairly familiar with, but you have a slight edge.
Acknowledging your proficiency, they’re subtly seeking validation of their own knowledge level. They might want you to recognize their efforts to learn and understand.
For example, a friend and I have been into video editing for some time now. We both use the same program, and we’re bouncing ideas off each other, as well as inspiration.
At one point, he told me he was still getting the hang of this new software but felt like he wasn’t as knowledgeable as me.
7) “Am I on the right track here?”
When someone tells you this, they want validation that they’re moving in the right direction with their thoughts, plans, or actions. They want your confirmation to boost their confidence.
For example, a person looking to improve their eating habits is incorporating more whole foods and less processed foods.
They might ask their personal trainer or nutritionist if they’re on the right track.
8) “I value your perspective more than most”
When someone says they value your perspective more than most, they’re essentially seeking validation for being open to your point of view.
They want you to acknowledge that they’re trying hard to understand different ways of thinking and appreciate the effort they’re putting into considering different viewpoints.
It’s like they’re saying, “I think you have important insights, and I’m trying to understand them better.”
9) “Do you think I’m being unreasonable?”
This phrase directly seeks validation of their emotions or actions. They want your opinion to confirm whether their behavior or perspective is justified.
It’s like they’re asking, “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” or “Is it okay for me to feel this way?”
They value your judgment and want you to help them feel reassured about what they’re experiencing or doing.
10) “I’m not as skilled at this, but…”
When someone admits that they don’t think they’re very skilled at something, they’re hoping you’ll acknowledge their efforts despite their feelings of inadequacy.
They want you to recognize that they’re trying to get better, and they’re looking for your support and encouragement.
In this situation, you can easily make them feel valued and motivate them to improve.
11) “I could use some advice from someone like you”
Did you ever need some advice but were too afraid to ask for it because you valued the person and their knowledge too much?
With this expression, they’re asking for help or advice while also expressing that they think highly of your knowledge and insights.
They’re looking for your approval and support in even asking for your advice. It’s like they’re saying, “I respect what you know, and I hope you think it’s a good idea for me to ask you for help.”
12) “You’ve probably been through this before”
If you’re someone with a lot of experience and life knowledge, someone might tell you this phrase.
By assuming your experience, they’re seeking validation that their situation is relatable and understandable. They want you to acknowledge their challenges.
But on the other side, you can also calm someone’s nerves by reassuring them and reminding them that they’re probably been through this before.
13) “I’m worried about what you might think”
This phrase suggests that the person is worried about what you might think. They want you to say something comforting or positive to make them feel better about their thoughts or actions.
Simply said, they’re seeking your approval or reassurance to feel more confident.
14) “I wasn’t confident about this until I talked to you”
This validation-seeking phrase means that the person didn’t feel sure or confident about something until they had a conversation with you.
Your advice has made them feel more sure of themselves. They want you to acknowledge that your help has positively impacted their confidence level.
It shows that they value your opinion and its impact on their situation.
Final thoughts
Asking you for validation or advice isn’t always easy or straightforward. Some people need guidance more than anything, which explains why there are so many gurus out there.
The more approachable you are, the more likely someone will seek your advice, suggestions, and validations.
