Adrian Volenik
I often wonder how some people function in the real world when they have zero self-awareness and almost no social intelligence.
You know the types, right? I often saw them in my workplace, but also on public transport or in supermarkets. Theyโre all around us, and theyโre someoneโs brother, sister, mother, friend, teacher, coworker, etc.
Theyโre not some mythical being, but your neighbor or even friend. Thatโs why Iโve always been intrigued by people who lack social intelligence.
And in this article, I am analyzing some of the things they say, which clearly reveal their lack of social skills.
So, letโs begin!
1) โI donโt careโ
Itโs okay not to care or have an interest in everything. The problem with these people is that theyโre not interested in anything.
Itโs like saying, โIโm not invested in what youโre talking about, and your thoughts or feelings donโt matter to me.โ
At the same time, they get surprised when someone doesnโt care about them and what theyโre saying.
Conversation is a two-way street.
2) โWhateverโ
When you want to dismiss or brush off a topic, youโll say โwhatever,โ right? With this, you imply you donโt want to participate in the conversation.
But the thing is, those with low social awareness use this expression all the time. They donโt care about many things, as Iโve mentioned in the first phrase on this list.
What they do care about is themselves and their full bellies and pockets. Apart from that, everything is โwhateverโ for them.
3) โItโs not my problemโ
Hand in hand with โI donโt careโ and โWhateverโ goes โItโs not my problem.โ They persistently refuse to take responsibility for anything.
Itโs one of the only resolute things theyโve ever done in their lives.
But this phrase also shows us something else, and thatโs a lack of will to help others. So, donโt waste time asking them for help.
And they almost certainly wonโt reach out and assist you.
4) โThatโs dumbโ
And when youโre that socially inept, the irony is that you find other things and people dumb. Thatโs why they constantly insult or belittle peopleโs ideas or opinions.
And not just in person, but even more so online, where they can troll and spew nonsense shielded behind fake profiles and encouraged by an army of like-minded people.
If youโve ever wondered who leaves these incredibly insensitive and downright shameful and offensive comments under even the most benign topics, now you have your answer.
5) โWhy are you so sensitive?โ
And when you get worked up after their comment (which was their intention), they accuse you of being too sensitive.
In reality, theyโre just projecting their own sensitivity because weโve seen many, many times that they are the absolute worst crybabies.
6) โYouโre overreactingโ
โYouโre overreactingโ is another banger and similar to the previous one. Theyโre accusing you of overreacting after their answer, statement, or comment made your blood boil because it lacked any and all decency.
The offense is the best defense, and they know it. Thatโs why they often preemptively blame others for things they would get accused of themselves in no time.
7) โI told you soโ
This phrase is a classic and is condescending and unsupportive. With it, theyโre saying, โI knew better than you, and now you see I was right, but Iโm not offering any understanding or empathy.โ
The worst thing about it? They will tell you, โI told you so,โ even if they never warned you or told you something about it before.
Thatโs just how they roll. Thatโs also why itโs best not to engage with them in the first place.
I guarantee you youโll end up with a sour taste in your mouth after interacting with them, no matter how right you are about things.
8) โGet over itโ
When you want to dismiss someoneโs struggles or emotions and suggest they should quickly move on, you just tell them to โGet over it.โ
But for people with no social intelligence, this is a part of their normal repertoire. They talk like this with almost anyone because they donโt care about their problems and emotions.
Itโs all about them. Me, me, me.
9) โI donโt need anyoneโ
It should come as no surprise that these kinds of people think they can do everything themselves. They also believe they know everything the best, and anyone else would just slow them down, right?
Thatโs why, if you offer them help on a work project, theyโll simply dismiss you and tell you they can handle things on their own.
Or, when theyโre going through a tough time, theyโll reject your sympathy or advice and deal with the situation all alone.
10) โYouโre wrongโ
Did you ever work with a colleague or even a boss who would immediately shut down suggestions? I have, and it wasnโt pretty.
They say people donโt quit their jobs, they quit their bosses, and now I know why.
People with low social intelligence believe their viewpoint is the only correct one and arenโt willing to consider alternatives.
In fact, they love putting down others and their ideas or suggestions, no matter how good they are.
11) โI donโt want to hear itโ
We see this all the time in some people – theyโre stubborn and donโt want to hear what you have to say to them.
In many cases, itโs their lack of social skills that makes them do and say such things. They simply know whatโs best for them, and thatโs it. It doesnโt matter if theyโre completely wrong or not.
No amount of persuading will change their minds, which is frustrating when you only want whatโs best for them, and theyโre shooting themselves in the foot.
Theyโre the types of people who learn things only when they happen to them personally. They donโt have the brain power to learn from other peopleโs mistakes.
12) โItโs not a big dealโ
Again, they love downplaying other peopleโs concerns or feelings. To them, almost any topic that isnโt about them is a non-issue.
Itโs not a big deal because theyโre not the ones who are directly involved in it. If their skin was on the line, they would act completely differently.
How to deal with them
Understand that people with lower social intelligence may not be aware of their impact on others. Be patient and try not to react negatively to their behavior.
Avoid relying on subtle cues or sarcasm, as they could misunderstand them (know your audience, right). You should clearly express your thoughts and feelings.
If their behaviors are affecting you negatively, set clear boundaries. Politely talk to them about your limits and let them know what behaviors arenโt acceptable.
In other words, tell them to F off but in a polite way.
I also like to find shared interests or topics that I can discuss comfortably with them. I get to know them and build a connection to create a more positive interaction.
But if all else fails, remain calm and composed. Reacting emotionally will only escalate the situation. So, take a deep breath and respond thoughtfully because youโre above this.
