Ava Sinclair
Emotional intelligence isn’t something people consciously avoid, but it is a skill some people struggle to develop.
Conversations with these people can often leave you feeling bewildered or even upset, as they tend to use specific phrases that demonstrate a lack of empathy or understanding.
However, understanding these telltale phrases could help you navigate these conversations better. So let’s explore 8 phrases that people with low emotional intelligence often use.
1) “I don’t care”
This phrase is a clear indicator of low emotional intelligence. People who often say “I don’t care” tend to dismiss the feelings of others and show a lack of empathy.
For instance, if you express concern about a situation and the person responds with “I don’t care”, it shows they are not willing or able to engage emotionally.
This phrase is very dismissive, creating a barrier for emotional connection and understanding. It makes the other person feel invalidated, as if their concerns or feelings are not important.
The use of “I don’t care” can make you feel as though your emotions or opinions are irrelevant or wrong. You might end up feeling misunderstood or unimportant, which can lead to frustration or resentment.
Recognizing this phrase as a sign of low emotional intelligence can help you understand the dynamics at play in these interactions. This understanding can help you navigate these conversations more effectively, without taking their lack of empathy personally.
2) “It’s just business”
On the surface, this phrase may seem like a practical perspective on professional matters. However, if used excessively, it reveals a lack of emotional intelligence.
It suggests that the person is unable to navigate the emotional aspects of business interactions and sees them as separate from human feelings.
While it’s true that business decisions should be rational, completely detaching them from emotions can lead to negative outcomes. It can create an impersonal work environment where employees feel unvalued and customers feel unappreciated.
Moreover, it can mean that the person is unable to handle challenges or conflicts in a sensitive and empathetic manner.
Instead of considering the emotional impact of their decisions, they hide behind the guise of “it’s just business”, disregarding the fact that businesses are run by people with emotions.
Understanding this phrase as a sign of low emotional intelligence can help you approach such individuals with more awareness, ensuring your own emotional needs are not overlooked in the process.
3) “You’re too sensitive”
This phrase is commonly used by individuals with low emotional intelligence. They often dismiss others’ emotions and feelings as being “too much” or “over the top”. This demonstrates a lack of empathy and understanding of the complexity of human emotions.
People experience and express their emotions differently. Labeling someone as “too sensitive” is an attempt to invalidate their feelings.
It suggests that the person using this phrase is uncomfortable with emotional expression and may struggle to understand or appreciate the perspectives of others.
Interestingly, research has shown that those who are more sensitive often have a greater capacity for empathy and understanding, traits associated with high emotional intelligence.
So, when someone tells you that you’re “too sensitive”, it’s more of a reflection of their own emotional limitations rather than yours. Recognizing this can help you navigate such interactions with greater self-assurance and empathy.
4) “That’s just how I am”
This phrase is often used as a defense mechanism by people with low emotional intelligence. It’s a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or behavior, and it can be quite hurtful to the person on the receiving end.
Rather than acknowledging their shortcomings and working on them, they justify their actions by saying “that’s just how I am”. It’s as if they’re saying they can’t change, or don’t want to.
But remember, it’s okay. It’s not your responsibility to change them or get them to see things differently.
Everyone’s on their own journey of self-growth and understanding. You can offer support and understanding, but ultimately, it’s up to them to take the steps towards growth and change.
Identifying this phrase can help you understand the underlying dynamics in your interactions with such individuals, enabling you to communicate more effectively and maintain your emotional well-being.
5) “I’m not upset”
This phrase is a classic one we’ve all probably heard, or even used ourselves at some point.
People with low emotional intelligence often struggle to accurately identify and express their emotions, leading to statements like “I’m not upset” even when they clearly are.
Such denial of emotions creates confusion and misunderstanding in conversations. You might find yourself questioning your own perception of their emotional state, or feeling frustrated because they won’t acknowledge their feelings.
But we all know it’s not easy to open up about our feelings, especially when they’re negative. It takes self-awareness and courage to admit when we’re upset.
Recognizing this phrase can help you better understand these interactions and remind you that it’s okay for emotions to be complex and sometimes hard to express.
6) “That’s your problem”
This phrase is often used by someone with low emotional intelligence as a way to deflect responsibility and empathy. It suggests that they are unwilling to consider another person’s perspective or feelings.
For example, let’s say you’re working on a project together and you express your concern about meeting the deadline. If they respond with “that’s your problem”, it shows a lack of collaborative spirit and empathy for your concerns.
It can make you feel dismissed and unsupported, like you’re on your own even in a supposedly shared situation.
Recognizing this phrase as a sign of low emotional intelligence can help you set boundaries and advocate for yourself in these interactions, ensuring your needs are acknowledged and respected.
7) “It’s not a big deal”
This phrase, often spoken by those with low emotional intelligence, can be quite disheartening. They use it to downplay your concerns or feelings, making you feel as if you’re overreacting.
Say you’re upset about something they did and when you confront them, they respond with “It’s not a big deal”. This dismissal of your feelings is not acceptable. It’s a clear sign of their inability to understand and respect your emotions.
Everyone has the right to their feelings. If something is a big deal to you, then it is a big deal. Period. You deserve to be heard and taken seriously.
Recognizing this phrase can help you stand your ground and demand the respect you deserve in your interactions.
8) “You’re overreacting”
This phrase is a hallmark of low emotional intelligence. People who say this are often unable to handle the emotional intensity of others and resort to invalidating their feelings by claiming they are “overreacting”.
Your feelings are your own, and no one else has the right to label them as an overreaction. If you feel something deeply, it’s because it matters to you, and that’s important.
The most crucial thing to remember is that your emotions are valid. If someone is constantly telling you that you’re overreacting, it’s more about their inability to handle emotions than about your reaction.
Understanding this can help you maintain your emotional health and navigate these interactions with confidence and self-respect.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence is at the heart of meaningful conversations and relationships—it’s what helps us connect, understand and navigate the complex world of human emotions.
This article aims to help you recognize signs of low emotional intelligence in others, but remember, everyone is on their own journey. We all have areas for growth and moments of misunderstanding.
The power is in your hands to choose how you respond to these phrases. Remember, your emotions are valid and deserve respect.
Being emotionally intelligent means having the courage to stand up for your feelings, even when they’re dismissed or misunderstood by others.
Here’s to fostering deeper understanding and building stronger, more empathetic connections in our conversations.
