If someone uses these 10 phrases regularly, they have a very toxic personality

There’s a fine line between being assertive and being downright toxic.

That line is often crossed with the words we use. Some people wield certain phrases like weapons, using them to belittle, manipulate, and dominate others.

These phrases are telltale signs of a toxic personality. If someone’s frequently using them, it’s time to reassess your relationship with them.

Below, I’ve compiled a list of 10 phrases that, when used regularly, are clear indicators of a toxic individual. 

Let’s dive in. 

1) “It’s your fault”

In the world of toxic personalities, blame shifting is common practice.

People with toxic traits rarely take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they tend to put the blame on others, often using phrases such as “it’s your fault”.

This phrase is a classic tool in the toxic person’s arsenal. It’s their way of avoiding accountability and putting the onus on you. They use it to make you feel guilty, so they can control and manipulate you.

If someone frequently blames you for their own failures and mistakes, it’s a sign of a toxic personality. It’s their way of undermining your self-esteem and belittling your accomplishments.

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. But shifting blame and not owning up to one’s actions? That’s a red flag.

2) “You’re too sensitive”

Let me share a personal story with you. A few years back, I had a friend who constantly belittled my feelings. Whenever I would express my discomfort or unhappiness about something, they would often reply with, “You’re too sensitive.”

This phrase is a common tactic used by toxic individuals to invalidate your feelings and experiences. It’s their way of making their inappropriate behaviour seem like your problem, not theirs.

In my case, it took me a while to realize that my feelings were valid and that I wasn’t overly sensitive. The real issue was my friend’s lack of empathy and respect for my feelings.

3) “I don’t need anyone”

While independence is a virtue, there’s a difference between being self-sufficient and dismissive of others. The phrase “I don’t need anyone” is often used by toxic individuals to establish a sense of superiority and independence.

Interestingly, research has found that people who constantly express they don’t need others are often insecure about their own self-worth. They use this statement as a defense mechanism to mask their fear of rejection or abandonment.

This phrase not only pushes people away, but it also hampers the possibility of creating meaningful relationships. It’s a sign that the person might be overly self-focused and unwilling to participate in the give-and-take that characterizes healthy relationships.

4) “I’m always right”

Ever met someone who simply can’t accept they might be wrong? The phrase “I’m always right” is a clear sign of a toxic personality.

People who frequently use this phrase exhibit a lack of humility and closed-mindedness. They see their opinions as infallible and are often dismissive or even hostile towards different viewpoints.

This kind of behaviour stifles open communication and creates an environment where only one person’s views matter, making it difficult for meaningful and balanced relationships to thrive.

Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but nobody’s right all the time. A person who insists they are is likely to be toxic.

5) “You owe me”

Favors and help should be given freely, without expecting something in return. But for a toxic person, they’re often a means to an end.

If you frequently hear the phrase “you owe me”, it’s a warning sign. This person might be using their past actions to manipulate you into feeling indebted to them. It’s a tactic to control your behavior and decisions, making you feel guilty if you don’t comply with their demands.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and kindness, not calculated transactions. If someone is constantly reminding you of what you ‘owe’ them, it’s a clear sign of toxicity.

6) “No one understands me”

The phrase “no one understands me” can sometimes be a cry for help, a plea for empathy. But when used regularly, it can also be a sign of a toxic personality.

People with toxic traits often see themselves as victims, misunderstood by the world. They use this phrase to garner sympathy and to dismiss any criticism or advice. It allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, as they can simply blame misunderstandings.

It’s heartbreaking to see someone trapped in such a mindset, especially when they use their perceived victimhood to manipulate those around them. 

7) “You always mess up”

I remember a time when someone close to me would constantly remind me of my mistakes. “You always mess up,” they would say, even for the smallest of errors.

This phrase is a classic manipulation tool. It’s used to undermine your confidence and make you feel incompetent. Over time, hearing this repeatedly can make you start believing that you’re incapable of doing things right.

In my case, it took a lot of introspection and courage to realize that I wasn’t the problem. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s through these mistakes that we learn and grow. The constant criticism and belittlement was a reflection of their toxic personality, not my worth or abilities.

8) “I’m just being honest”

Honesty is usually considered a virtue. But when it’s used as an excuse for being overly critical or mean, it’s a sign of toxicity.

The phrase “I’m just being honest” is often used by toxic individuals to justify their hurtful comments. They hide behind the guise of truth-telling while causing unnecessary pain.

But here’s the thing – honesty doesn’t have to be brutal. It’s possible to be truthful while still being kind and considerate.

If someone regularly uses harsh honesty as a weapon, it might be time to question their intentions.

9) “You can’t live without me”

There’s nothing more toxic than someone who tries to make you feel dependent on them. If you hear the phrase “you can’t live without me” often, it’s a major red flag.

This statement is a manipulative tactic used to exert control and create insecurity. It’s designed to make you feel less capable and more reliant on the person saying it.

In a healthy relationship, individuals should encourage each other’s independence and personal growth.

If someone is trying to make you believe that you can’t survive without them, it’s a sure sign they have a toxic personality.

10) “I never said that”

The most toxic people are often masters of manipulation. A common tactic they use is gaslighting – making you question your own perceptions and memory. If someone often tells you “I never said that” when you’re sure they did, it’s a sign of gaslighting.

This phrase is used to deny previous statements or actions, making you doubt your own recollections. Over time, this can seriously damage your self-esteem and confidence.

Awareness is your strongest defense against this kind of toxicity.