If someone secretly doesn’t like being friends with you, they’ll usually display these subtle behaviors

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We all have friends, right?

But what if one of them doesn’t really like being around you?

We’re going to share 10 clues that might hint at this.

Remember, these are just subtle hints, not absolutes.

So, are you ready?

You might just learn something new about your friendships!

1. They rarely initiate contact

Close your eyes and think about your friends. Who’s the first one to say “Hi”? Who suggests meetings, sends messages, or calls just to catch up?

If the other person never – or very rarely – initiates contact, it might be a subtle hint that they aren’t super keen on your friendship.

If you’re the one always making the effort and they’re simply going along for the ride, well, that’s something to consider. 

2. They’re often too busy

We all have busy lives, that’s a given.

But if your “friend” always seems to be too busy to hang out, or they’re constantly cancelling plans at the last minute, it might be a sign that they’re not as invested in the friendship as you are.

Sure, everyone has off days or unexpected life stuff that pops up. But if this is a consistent pattern, it could suggest that your friendship isn’t one of their priorities.

As always, don’t make assumptions based on this point alone – it’s just something to keep in mind.

3. They don’t seem interested in your life

Friendship is a two-way street, right? We share our lives, our ups and downs, and our dreams and disappointments.

But what if your friend doesn’t seem interested in your life?

I once had a friend and whenever we hung out, the conversation always revolved around him – his job, his hobbies, his problems. I didn’t mind at first, I thought he was just going through a tough time. But over time, I noticed he rarely asked about my life or showed interest in my stories. It felt like a one-sided friendship.

So, if your friend is like him and doesn’t show genuine interest in your life, it might hint that they’re not really into being friends with you.

4. They’re not open about themselves

Being open and sharing personal experiences is a pretty big part of any friendship. It’s how we build trust and understanding.

But if your friend tends to keep things close to the chest and rarely opens up, it might indicate that they’re not comfortable or interested in deepening the friendship.

According to a study, self-disclosure is a fundamental building block of intimacy. It means if your friend doesn’t share much about themselves, they may not be seeking a close friendship with you.

But remember, everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to sharing personal information, so this might not always be the case.

5. They don’t support you in your tough times

True friends are like stars; they shine brightest when our world is darkest. They’re there to support us during our tough times, offering a listening ear, a comforting hug, or words of encouragement.

But what if your friend disappears or becomes distant when you’re going through a rough patch? Or what if they brush off your problems or make light of your struggles?

This could be a subtle sign that they’re not as invested in the friendship as you might have thought.

Remember, everyone has their own battles to fight, and sometimes they may be unable to provide the support you need.

But a consistent lack of support or empathy could indicate that the friendship isn’t as strong as it should be.

6. They’re not really happy for your successes

Here’s a raw truth: real friends celebrate your wins. They’re there cheering you on when you score that promotion, when you ace that test, or when you finally get your dream car. They’re genuinely happy because you’re happy.

But let’s get real.

If your buddy doesn’t seem to celebrate your victories or worse, they downplay your achievements, then maybe, just maybe, they’re not into this friendship as you are.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, I know.

Look, we all have moments of envy or insecurity. But if there’s a consistent lack of enthusiasm or if they seem to rain on your parade more often than not, then that could be a sign of something deeper. 

7. They always steer the conversation towards themselves

Conversation is the lifeblood of any friendship. It’s through these exchanges that we get to know each other better, share our thoughts, and build deeper connections. But what if your friend constantly steers the conversation back to themselves?

People who often shift the focus of conversations to themselves may do so because they’re self-centered or lack empathy.

If your friend is always turning the spotlight back on themselves and not taking an interest in what you have to say, it could suggest that they’re not genuinely interested in being friends.

But remember, sometimes people might be going through a lot and need to vent or talk about their experiences. This is just a possible sign that someone secretly doesn’t want to be friends with you.

8. They don’t respect your boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is a crucial part of any healthy friendship.

I remember a friend of mine who had a knack for crossing boundaries. Whether it was borrowing things without asking or showing up unannounced at odd hours, he often left me feeling disrespected and uncomfortable.

If your friend doesn’t respect your boundaries and dismisses your feelings when you express discomfort, it might be a sign that they don’t value the friendship as much as you do.

It’s worth keeping in mind though that everyone has different perspectives on what qualifies as crossing the line. It’s always best to have an open and honest conversation about your boundaries and expectations in a friendship.

9. They’re constantly criticizing you

Let’s be real: nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws, and sometimes, a good friend will gently point these out to help us grow.

But there’s a world of difference between constructive criticism and constant, unwarranted nitpicking.

If your so-called friend is always criticizing you, making fun of you, or putting you down, it’s time to ask some tough questions.

Are they doing this to help you, or are they just trying to make you feel small? A real friend builds you up, they don’t tear you down.

If this is happening more often than not, it could be a sign that they don’t value your friendship.

10. They make you feel drained

Friendships should energize you, not leave you feeling drained and exhausted.

Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs, but if hanging out with your friend feels more like a chore than a joy, something might be off.

Do you often feel emotionally exhausted after spending time with them? Do they constantly demand your attention and energy without giving anything back?

If so, it might be a sign that this friendship isn’t as healthy as it should be.

Summing up

Remember, these points are just hints and not absolutes. Everyone behaves differently in friendships due to their own personal experiences and perspectives.

If any of these points resonate with your situation though, it might be worth having an open and honest conversation with your friend about your concerns.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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