Tina Fey
They’re nice to you—they even smile and ask you “what’s up?” from time to time.
But why do you have this feeling that they’re just being fake nice? That deep down, they really don’t like you?
Are you just being paranoid or is your gut telling you the truth?
Let’s find out.
Here are 14 subtle behaviors of people who secretly dislike you.
1) They can’t look at you in the eye
The eyes are the window to the soul…and they don’t ever want you to peep into their soul, like ever.
That’s why they avoid eye contact as much as possible.
When you’re together, it’s either their eyes are on their phones or on other people.
And even if they have to look at you, they give you the unfocused thousand-yard stare.
No wonder you feel there’s something “off” with them.
It’s as if they’re just tolerating your presence—that they’re there because they have to, and not because they really want to be with you.
2) They don’t pay attention when you talk
They’re actually the attentive type. You know it because they’re all ears when others talk.
But when it’s your turn?
They “zone out” and “get busy” doing other things.
They won’t outright say they don’t like you (no one does that). But you can easily tell when someone secretly dislikes you when they hate listening to you talk.
3) They keep interactions short
When you ask them a question, they keep their replies really short.
“Yes”
“No”
“I think so…”
And they definitely won’t ask you back.
They go straight to the point because they probably secretly dislike you.
Of course, they don’t want you to think they’re an assh*le so they’ll come up with excuses like “I have deadlines” or “My mom is waiting for me.”
4) They feel uncomfortable when it’s just the two of you
It’s easy to mask our annoyance if we’re with a bunch of people.
But when we’re left alone with them, it becomes challenging.
Do they look awkward when it’s just the two of you?
Do they struggle to find something to talk about?
Are they looking for excuses to leave?
Well, it’s either they have social anxiety or they secretly dislike you.
5) They laugh hard when you mess up
Did you just say “carrot” instead of “cart” during a very important presentation?
Did you just put salt in your tea instead of sugar?
They’d laugh so hard it’s as if they’re saying “Hallelujah! Life is fair!”
They probably harbor resentment towards you because they find so much joy in your suffering.
If you can’t recall doing anything mean towards them, they’re probably just bitter.
Maybe you have something that they don’t have and they want you to fail at whatever it is you’re trying to achieve in life.
6) They laugh hard when others make jokes at your expense
The jokes aren’t even funny, but since it’s about you, they laugh like it’s David Chapelle’s funniest joke.
Someone who secretly dislikes you finds immense joy when others belittle you.
It’s something they want to do to you but they simply can’t because they’re too “nice”.
It doesn’t matter if the jokes are seriously mean, they won’t side with you.
Why would they?
They secretly dislike you.
7) They “accidentally” leave you out
They invite everyone to their event…well, except you.
They create a group chat… and you’re not included.
When others point it out, they’d go “Oh yeah, how can I forget!”
If it’s been happening more than three times, trust me—it’s definitely not because they’re forgetful.
It’s because they secretly dislike you.
8) They always disagree with you ideas
When you suggest something—even if everyone thinks it’s a brilliant idea—they’d go “Hmm, I’m not convinced though” or “Hmmm, doesn’t seem right.”
For some reason, they just don’t want to agree with you!
And what’s frustrating is that they’d support the ones that don’t make sense just because they hate to see you “win.”
You know that deep down, they’d actually like your ideas if only they aren’t yours.
9) They won’t congratulate you for your wins
You got praised for something at work.
Or you just won an award.
Or you just got engaged.
Everyone makes a big deal out of it. Well, everyone except them!
They’d smile and look cool, but you can never hear them say “OMG so happy for you”.
And if they feel like they really have to say something, they’ll blurt out a non-pliments such as “Oh you’re so lucky” or “Finally, you’re doing something right.”
10) They’re a little too competitive
You tell a joke and everyone laughs (well except them, of course).
And so, they’ll tell a funnier joke.
You teach someone how to do something, they’ll say “Oh but that’s just the basics. What you really need to know is…blah blah.”
You’re kinda sure they won’t be competitive if it’s someone else!
And even when it comes to friends, they’ll try to “win” more friends than you.
Well, this might be an obvious sign they dislike you if they deliberately don’t treat you right.
But the problem is that they act “nice” towards you…and this makes everything confusing.
11) They love hanging out with your enemies
So let’s say you told them you don’t like certain people.
Guess what they’ll do?
They’ll go to them and befriend them—even turn them into instant besties.
They don’t care even if those people made your life miserable. That’s how much they dislike you!
When you confront them about it, they’ll say something like “Oh but we’re all grown ups here. We can hang out with anyone we want.”
Be careful. This person might look like your friend, but it’s possible that they secretly dislike you.
12) They give sarcastic remarks
They’re sassy and always sarcastic…but only to you.
When you give comments on their report, they’d say something like “Thanks Mr. I’m-an-expert-at-everything!”
What’s frustrating is that they’re the one who asked for your opinion and you didn’t even say anything harsh.
What makes this an obvious sign that they dislike you is that they’re not like this to others. In fact, they’re an angel to everyone else!
13) They don’t like talking to you directly
Instead of discussing things with you, they’d rather relay their message to someone else.
For whatever reason, it’s as if they just don’t want to be with you.
And when you ask them why, they just act like nothing’s up.
They’d go “Oh, I didn’t know it’s such a big deal.” or “Because I was so busy, sorry!”
But you know they’re lying because they exhibit all of the other signs in this list.
14) They don’t follow through on your plans
You met at a party and you talked about hanging out again.
Cool!
But when you actually invite them to do something, they always have excuses not to go.
Or let’s say you’re colleagues and you talked about working on a project together. They seem excited!
But when you send them links related to the project, they don’t even bother to open them.
They’re probably just being fake nice to you and they don’t have plans of actually doing things with you.
What to do
1) Communicate
Do this if they’re someone close to you.
Why?
Because that’s the best way to resolve issues!
Remember: what’s included in this list are SUBTLE signs. So there’s a possibility that you’re just misreading their actions.
2) Keep an eye on them
If they’re your boss or colleague, it’s better to just let things slide.
You can’t have a heart-to-heart talk with every person who dislikes you.
Here’s what you should do: Don’t take their actions personally.
But DO pay very close attention to how they act towards you. They might do something that could sabotage your career.
3) Do some reflection
I’d like to say that you’re a good person and they’re evil, but that’s not how relationships usually are.
It’s possible that you’re doing something that has made them dislike you.
Perhaps you said something that has hurt them.
Perhaps you’re a bit unfair?
Perhaps you display behaviors that make people feel uncomfortable.
While self-love and self-acceptance is great, working on yourself is always better.
4) Accept that you might just not be everyone’s cup of tea
Do you want everyone to like you? Why?
It’s just not possible!
Even the nicest, sweetest person has at least three people who dislike them.
So don’t feel bad if you realize that a couple of people indeed dislike you—even hate you—because that’s just normal.
Don’t change yourself just so you’ll be liked by everybody because that will never happen!
Final thoughts
If you’re not an assh*le and if you’re not deliberately hurting others, then don’t feel bad about having a few enemies.
There’s no one person that’s everyone’s cup of tea.
Besides, nine times out of ten, it’s not you—it’s them.
They’re probably jealous of you or they’re probably immature. Whatever. That’s their problem, not yours.
Just focus on yourself and the few people who love you instead.
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