Clifton Kopp
Have you ever been really into someone, but couldn’t quite figure out if they felt the same way?
Speculating how someone feels about you can be frustrating, distracting, and annoying… depending on how invested you are.
If this sounds familiar and you want to stop beating around the bush and get to the bottom of things, you’ve come to the right place.
I’m here to provide you with a bit of clarity.
In this article, I’ll go through the subtle (but definitive) behaviors of someone who is truly attracted to you.
Once you have a better idea of the signs, you can move forward with greater certainty.
Let’s get to it!
1) They’ll start communicating often
When someone has feelings for you and they aren’t quite ready to announce it to the world, they’ll often find ways to get in touch with you.
It is just our natural tendency as humans: we want to build rapport with people we like.
I remember in fifth grade, I’d call my crush, and shyly inquire about homework. I would nervously stutter as I asked her thoughts on an algebra equation, despite knowing the answer.
I did this because I was attracted to her, drawn to her.
It was almost instinctual to find excuses to reach out, even for a coy eleven-year-old.
Well, this pattern of behavior has no age limit.
When you like someone, touching base through texts, calls, DM’s, etc. becomes the norm.
We enjoy staying in touch and sharing our life with the person we’re into, whether consciously or not.
Sure, it could just be friendly, but if they’re getting in contact vigorously, this almost always indicates something more.
Trust your gut.
2) They’re highly attentive around you
Observe their behavior when you’re physically together.
If they’re on their phone, scrolling through Instagram, offering up unenthused, generic, responses, and giving you a fraction of their focus, chances are, they’re not particularly into you.
But the opposite is true: if they give you their undivided attention, actively listen, and show real engagement with what you have to say, they’re probably attracted to you on some level.
When we feel attraction for someone, we tend to want to show that we value their company.
We want our person to feel special.
So if someone always puts their phone away in your company and is present, this can indicate some attraction–particularly in 2024, where digital distractions are ubiquitous.
3) They exhibit open body language
They say body language accounts for the vast majority of our in-person communication with one another.
So when you’re trying to figure out if someone is attracted to you, it’s worth paying extra attention to their movements.
If their body language is welcome and open towards you, this is a welcome sign.
Gestures such as uncrossed arms, leaning in when they speak, facing you directly, the occasional touch on the arm or leg, or prolonged eye contact, signal both a desire to be close and a feeling of comfort in your presence.
Once the body language is on point, you know things are working in your favor.
4) They offer original, genuine compliments
Remember those early 2000s formulaic romcoms where the nerdy protagonist finally gets together with the bombshell of his dreams?
In the end, he beats out all the vapid jocks, in large part because he’s more sensitive, more caring, and observant than them.
He gives authentic and sincere compliments that aren’t just about appearance.
He’ll go into detail about talents, personality traits, quirks, and so on.
Seeing it play out is admittedly a little cheesy but the fact remains: when someone sees qualities about you most overlook, the seemingly insignificant details, this indicates they appreciate and admire your entire being.
5) They try to make future plans
If someone likes you, they’ll almost always bring up the prospect of meeting again in the near future.
Maybe you mention your affinity with Japanese food, and they’ll later recommend going with you to a “really authentic” izakaya that they claim nobody knows about yet.
Or maybe you mention how you want to one day open a business, and they’ll offer to help you through the process, by giving you feedback and brainstorming, at a later date… perhaps over chilled glasses of Sauvignon Blanc.
The bottom line: when someone is attracted to you, they’ll show consistent excitement about the prospect of spending time together.
They are thinking about you in their future.
6) They show vulnerability
It’s not rocket science: when someone feels relaxed and at ease around you, this is a generally good thing.
Once they start opening up to you about personal topics and exhibit vulnerability, this means you’ve made the transition from being a normal friend or suitor to someone far more intimate.
They’re showing trust and a desire to build a deeper emotional bond with you, which usually equates to attraction to some degree or another–fertile ground for romance.
7) They make an effort with your friends and family
As you may have gathered by now, people who are attracted to you tend to want to be closer to you and those in your life.
Building a connection with your family and friends immediately thrusts them into that status.
They know that these people are important to you and that these relationships matter, so they act accordingly.
They want to be part of your tribe, your inner circle, which puts them in a prime position to get more intimate, personal, and deep with you.
They want to be a major part, a mainstay, of your life.
Getting close and building rapport with your family and friends will expedite that process.
8) They get playful around you
We all know it.
Humor and playfulness are effective ways of breaking down barriers with other humans, particularly in a potential romantic relationship.
Hence, when someone is attracted to you, they might try just a bit harder than others to make you laugh and smile.
They’ll mildly flirt, engaging in light teasing and playful banter.
They want your connection to be a bit more special, more intimate, than what you have with most people.
And once they start creating (and referencing) inside jokes that are exclusive between the two of you?
Game over.
Final thoughts
While having that initial spark or attraction is great, without assertiveness, you could be looking at unrequited love.
So once you feel someone is attracted to you and the feeling is mutual, don’t beat around the bush, make your feelings known.
Life is short.
You don’t want to live with regret.
If you want something, don’t expect things to fall in your lap, you have to put in the effort–something that certainly extends to romantic partners. You got this.
