If someone is secretly in love, they usually display these 9 behaviors

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Someone might be in love with you. A friend, co-worker, classmate, whoever it is, you’ve had a strange feeling about them for a while.

Weird tension permeates your conversations, and even though you’d like to ignore it and just carry on, that nagging voice at the back of your mind won’t leave you be.

Are they in love with you or not?

Let’s answer your question once and for all. If someone is secretly in love, they usually display the following 9 behaviors.

1) They throw frequent glances your way

The first thing you need to know about love is that the eyes follow it like a horse does a carrot.

That is to say, if someone’s secretly in love with you, they won’t be able to stop glancing at you or downright staring at you when you’re not looking.

They might think they’re being sneaky, but if you pay attention, their behavior becomes quite obvious.

I know what I’m talking about. When I was younger, I had a huge crush on a guy at school. I remember I simply couldn’t stop looking at him.

It was as if my eyes refused to listen to me. He had a gravitational pull on me, and no matter what I did, my sight eventually landed on him and his pitch-perfect face that I could have drawn from memory.

If you think the person in question is looking at you a bit too much (you can feel them staring from across the room a lot, for example), it’s the first sign there might be something going on.

2) They are somehow always around

Not only do they stare at you a lot but they are also somehow always there.

Wherever you go, this person shows up there as if you were a portkey and they grabbed onto you every time you were about to magically transport to a new place.

If there’s a group project, they’re on your team. If you’re going to a concert they know about, they will accidentally bump into you there.

Similarly to what I’ve described above, they simply can’t help themselves but try to be in your presence.

They want to see you, talk to you, connect with you – and the more opportunities they get to do that, the higher the chances that you’ll form a closer connection.

3) They take a genuine interest in you as a person

If you already have an established close friendship, this one doesn’t necessarily apply.

If you’ve been only acquaintances thus far, though…

That’s a different story.

When someone’s in love with you, they will suddenly try to get to know you better. This is actually supported by science – our attention and memory function better when it comes to the object of our affection because we yearn to get closer to them on an emotional level.

You may notice that they ask you more personal questions, strike up random conversations with you, and are curious to learn more about your interests.

When I was secretly in love years ago, I used to file away every piece of information about my crush like it was something precious.  

Wow, he doesn’t like caramelised onions!

Okay, he really enjoys Game of Thrones.

He loves coffee. Noted.

It sounds ridiculous when I recount it now, but back then, I was so in love I didn’t even care. I just wanted to get to know him as much as I could.

And if someone has secret feelings for you, they will most likely do the same.

4) They remember the little things you say

The result of the previous behavior is that the person in question remembers all the details you’ve ever shared with them.

While it’s possible they’re just very perceptive, there’s a high likelihood they wouldn’t remember someone else’s favorite type of pizza.

Conversations with them make you feel seen and heard because they bring up little things you mentioned in the past, ask you about events you had planned, and pose follow-up questions that allow them to understand you in more depth.

This is what infatuation does – it makes you want to see the person you’re in love with in all their beauty. It makes you care.

However, do keep in mind that this sign should go hand in hand with other signs on this list. 

It’s only when many different signs exist in tandem that you can confidently say someone’s secretly in love with you.

5) They are concerned about your well-being

This one’s my favorite solely because it’s so very sweet.

Do you know that feeling when you fall in love and have a need to look after the other person, from smoothing their hair out of their face to making them a meal or fussing over them when they’re ill?

Well, if someone feels similarly about you but wants to hide it, they are probably just as concerned about your well-being but are trying to be more subtle about it.

They might lend you their jacket when you’re cold, buy you your favorite snack, or bring you a glass of water when they notice you haven’t drunk all day.

Whatever it is, they try to look after you in the smallest of ways so that they don’t come across as too pushy or strange.

It’s kind of adorable.

(Unless they overdo it, of course.)

6) They often offer to help you out

What’s the best way to show concern for someone’s well-being and feel closer to them at the same time?

Offer to help them out with something. Anything. Fixing a shelf, learning a musical instrument, studying for exams, going grocery shopping, you name it.

Offering help is such a common and kind thing to do that it doesn’t seem weird, and yet it’s what allows you two to spend more time together.

By the time you’re done, voila! You’ve connected on a deeper level.

7) They take your side during conflicts

When you get into an argument with someone, that one particular person will always try to defend you and make sure you’re alright.

When you feel upset by something, they will come to ask you if you’re okay and if there’s anything they can do for you.

The reason is simple. When you’re in love, the last thing you want is for your loved one to feel sad, upset, or hurt. And you’d do anything to lift their spirits back up.

Thus yet another sign someone has feelings for you.

8) They act more nervous and silly around you

If you’ve been friendly with someone for ages, and suddenly, they’ve grown more nervous or playful…

Yep, that’s right. They may have fallen in love with you.

Some signs of nervous behavior include:

  • Laughter and giggling
  • Blushing
  • Stammering
  • Quick glances
  • Forgetting one’s words
  • Fidgeting

It’s also possible that they lean more toward the playful than the nervous side – this gives them plenty of opportunities to be physically closer to you, for example by touching your arm when laughing or gently bumping into you when they make a teasing remark.

9) You can feel something is… different

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of your gut instinct.

If you have a feeling that something between you and the other person has shifted; if you can sense a certain tension in the air; if you’re beginning to doubt their friendly intentions…

Well, it’s possible you’re right.

Our intuitive voices often tell us the truth before we muster up the courage to admit it to ourselves, and so if you pay a little bit more attention to what your body’s whispering to you, you might get the answer to your question.

What you do with this information, though…

That is up to you.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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