If someone is secretly attracted to you, they’ll display these 9 subtle behaviors

There’s a huge difference between someone just being friendly and someone being secretly attracted to you.

The distinction lies in the subtleties. When someone is secretly attracted to you, they might not outright say it. Instead, they’ll engage in certain behaviors that, if you know what to look for, can reveal their true feelings.

Understanding these subtle cues can give you insight into how someone truly feels about you. If you’re keen enough to spot these signs, you may just find out that someone has been carrying a torch for you all along.

Let’s dive in.

1) Prolonged eye contact

The eyes, they say, are the windows to the soul.

Some people are naturally more eye-contact oriented, but if someone is secretly attracted to you, you’ll notice an uptick in the amount of eye contact they make with you.

This isn’t a fleeting glance or two. Instead, they may hold your gaze slightly longer than what seems usual. That’s because when we are attracted to someone, we subconsciously want to connect with them. And one of the most powerful ways to make that connection is through eye contact.

But remember, it’s all about subtlety. This isn’t about intense staring contests or creepy, unblinking stares. It’s about that lingering look, that extra second they hold your gaze before looking away.

2) They find reasons to touch you

Human touch can convey a lot of unspoken feelings.

When someone is secretly attracted to you, they might find subtle ways to initiate physical contact. This could be anything from a light touch on your arm during a conversation, brushing away a stray hair from your face, or even playful nudges.

Now, let me share a personal example. I remember when I started developing feelings for my now-partner. We were just friends back then, and I’d always find some reason to initiate touch. A pat on the back during a shared laugh, a comforting hand on the shoulder during difficult times, or just an ‘accidental’ brush of our hands while walking side by side.

I didn’t even realize I was doing it until a mutual friend pointed it out. It was my subconscious way of expressing my attraction.

3) They mimic your gestures

This behavior is rooted in psychology and is known as ‘mirroring’. When we feel a strong connection or attraction towards someone, we tend to subconsciously mimic their body language, gestures, or even speech patterns.

For instance, if you lean back in your chair, they might do the same. If you use a certain phrase often, they might start incorporating it into their own vocabulary. This subconscious behavior is a way of expressing alignment with or liking for the other person.

Studies in the field of neuropsychology have discovered ‘mirror neurons’ in our brains that are responsible for this mimicry. These neurons fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing that action. It’s nature’s way of building empathy and understanding between humans.

4) They remember small details about you

When someone is secretly attracted to you, they genuinely want to know more about you. And that means not just the big, defining aspects of your life, but also the seemingly insignificant details.

Was it your brother’s birthday last week? They’ll ask how the celebration went. Did you mention you love a particular band? They might bring up their latest album in conversation. These small details might seem trivial, but remembering them shows that they hold a genuine interest in you.

This kind of attentive listening shows they value your words and experiences. It’s a subtle sign of attraction, revealing their desire to truly understand and connect with you on a deeper level.

5) They tease you gently

Teasing is a playful way of getting your attention and it’s also a classic sign of attraction. When someone is secretly attracted to you, they might engage in light-hearted teasing as a way to break the ice and establish a bond.

This isn’t about mean-spirited taunts or jibes that make you feel uncomfortable. Instead, it’s about friendly banter, shared jokes, and playful challenges that invite interaction and laughter.

The key here is balance. A little teasing can show attraction, but too much can be off-putting. However, if you notice someone often engaging in good-natured teasing with you, it could be a subtle sign that they’re attracted to you.

6) They show genuine concern for your well-being

When someone is secretly attracted to you, your happiness and well-being become their priority. They may check in on you when you’re feeling under the weather or offer to help you out when you’re swamped at work.

It goes beyond mere politeness or friendship. It’s a deep-seated concern that manifests in subtle ways. They might send you an uplifting text when they know you’re having a rough day or make you a cup of tea when you’re feeling stressed.

This kind of genuine concern is heartfelt and sincere. It shows that they care about you on a deeper level and want the best for you. 

7) They light up when they see you

This is something that’s hard to fake. When someone is secretly attracted to you, their face will often light up when they see you. Their eyes might sparkle, they might break into a broad smile, or they may just look happier and more animated.

I remember a time when I was secretly attracted to a friend. I didn’t realize it at first, but every time she walked into the room, I’d feel a sudden surge of happiness. My friends noticed it before I did – they said my face would light up every time she was around.

This reaction is often subconscious and uncontrollable. It’s the body’s natural response to seeing someone we’re attracted to. 

8) They give you compliments

Compliments can be a subtle way of expressing attraction. When someone is secretly attracted to you, they might frequently compliment you. It could be about your appearance, your intelligence, your sense of humor, or any other qualities they admire about you.

These compliments often go beyond the superficial. They’re about your character and the unique aspects that make you, you. They see and appreciate your worth, and they aren’t shy about expressing it through their words.

9) They make an effort to spend time with you

At the end of the day, the most telling sign of secret attraction is the effort someone puts into spending time with you. When someone is attracted to you, they’ll want to be around you as much as possible. They’ll seek out opportunities to share experiences with you, whether that’s grabbing a cup of coffee, going for a walk, or simply hanging out.

They value your company and cherish the moments spent with you. They’re willing to invest their time and energy in building a connection with you. So if someone consistently makes an effort to spend time with you, it’s a powerful sign that they’re secretly attracted to you.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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