If someone is exhausting to be around, they’ll usually display these 7 subtle behaviors

Ever tried spending time with someone who just seems to drain your energy?

It’s like they have a special knack for making you feel completely exhausted, even when you’ve only been around them for a short while.

The tricky part is, they might not even realize they’re doing it.

These folks often exhibit subtle behaviors that signal they’re an energy drain.

And trust me, as a relationship expert who’s seen it all, I can tell you that catching these signs early on can save you a lot of time and heartache.

In this article, we’ll delve into the tell-tale behaviors that show someone is exhausting to be around. These are things I’ve picked up on during my years of experience.

So, buckle up folks… it’s time to get real about energy drainers.

1) They’re always negative

I’ve seen it time and time again. One of the most telling signs of someone who’s draining to be around is their constant negativity.

Now, I’m not talking about the occasional bad day or moment of frustration – that’s just being human.

No, I’m referring to those individuals who seem to have a dark cloud perpetually hanging over their heads.

They’re often the first to point out what’s wrong in a situation, rarely acknowledging the silver linings.

And this negativity isn’t just limited to their outlook on life – it extends to how they talk about themselves, others, and even you.

This kind of constant pessimism can be incredibly exhausting to deal with.

It’s like being in a room that is slowly being filled with water – at first, it’s manageable, but over time it becomes suffocating.

And let me tell you, no one deserves to feel like they’re drowning in someone else’s negativity.

2) They’re overly positive

Surprising, isn’t it? While constant negativity can be draining, the flip side can be just as exhausting.

Yes, I’m talking about those eternally cheerful individuals who never seem to have a down moment.

Now, positivity is generally a good thing. But like with everything in life, balance is key.

A person who is always on cloud nine, no matter the circumstances, can wear you out too.

Why? Because it often comes off as insincere or, worse yet, dismissive of your own feelings.

It can feel like they’re living in a different reality, one in which problems don’t exist.

And that can make you feel invalidated when you’re going through tough times.

Not to mention, it can put pressure on you to also act overly cheerful, even when you don’t feel like it. And that’s tiring.

It’s like being at a party where everyone’s dancing non-stop and you just want to sit down for a bit.

So remember – while positivity is crucial for a healthy mind and relationships, too much of it can also become an energy drain.

3) They’re overly dependent

One behavior that can signal someone is exhausting to be around is if they’re overly dependent on you.

It’s not just about always wanting your time and attention – it’s about them relying on you for their happiness, validation, and sense of self-worth.

Now, don’t get me wrong, dependence to some degree is a natural part of any relationship.

But when it becomes one-sided or excessive, it can turn into codependency.

Codependency is something I’ve seen a lot in my time as a relationship expert.

It’s not only draining for the person on the receiving end, but it’s also harmful to the person who’s overly dependent.

It prevents them from developing a healthy sense of individuality and self-esteem.

In fact, I’ve written extensively about this topic in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It offers practical advice for those dealing with codependent relationships.

But back to the point – if you find yourself feeling suffocated by someone’s constant need for reassurance, permission, or company, it might be a sign that they’re exhausting to be around.

4) They rarely listen

Ah, the art of listening. It seems simple enough, but it’s amazing how many people struggle with it.

One key sign that someone may be exhausting to be around is if they rarely, if ever, truly listen to what you have to say.

Ever been in a conversation where you’re pouring your heart out, only to get a sense that the other person is just waiting for their turn to speak?

Or worse yet, they’re so preoccupied with their own thoughts that they hardly seem to hear you at all. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

The truth is, listening isn’t just about being quiet when someone else is talking.

It’s about showing genuine interest, asking thoughtful questions, and responding in a way that shows you understand.

As the great Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Let me tell you from personal experience – interacting with someone who doesn’t value your words can be incredibly draining.

That’s why if you feel unheard or unvalued in your interactions with someone, it might be time to reassess whether their company is beneficial for your well-being.

5) They constantly play the victim

Another subtle behavior that can make a person exhausting to be around is when they constantly play the victim.

You know the type – nothing is ever their fault, and they’re always at the mercy of the world’s injustices.

Now, life isn’t always fair and we all face hardships.

It’s okay to feel down and out sometimes.

But there’s a difference between acknowledging your struggles and perpetually seeing yourself as the victim.

During my years as a relationship expert, I’ve had my fair share of interactions with individuals who fall into this category.

They often have a hard time taking responsibility for their actions, and instead blame others or external circumstances for their problems.

The issue with this mindset is that it not only hampers personal growth, but it can also be incredibly draining for those around them.

It’s like being stuck in a never-ending drama series, except there’s no pause or mute button.

6) They’re a chronic complainer

We all have those days when we just need to let off some steam and vent a little.

But there’s a big difference between that and being around someone who’s a chronic complainer.

I’ve come across many individuals who never seem to run out of things to complain about.

Whether it’s the weather, their job, or the barista who messed up their coffee order – nothing is ever quite right.

As Maya Angelou wisely said, “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

But chronic complainers rarely take this advice.

Instead, they choose to dwell on the negative, creating a cloud of negativity that can be quite taxing for those around them.

And remember, if you’re interested in more insights on relationships and personal growth, feel free to follow me on Facebook. I regularly share my latest articles there!

7) They make everything about them

Another subtle behavior that can make someone really exhausting to be around is when they make everything about them.

You know the ones. You’re sharing news about a promotion at work, and suddenly they’re talking about that time they got promoted.

Or you’re discussing a book you’ve read, and they steer the conversation towards their favorite book.

It’s as if every conversation is a competition and they’re determined to outshine you.

Their need to always be in the spotlight can be draining and can leave you feeling like your thoughts, feelings, and experiences don’t matter.

I’m not saying that people who do this are necessarily self-centered or narcissistic.

Sometimes, it’s just a bad habit they’ve picked up over time.

But regardless of the reason, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s tiring to be around.

Reflections and insights

Recognizing the behaviors that make someone draining to be around is a crucial step towards ensuring our interactions and relationships are healthy and fulfilling.

I believe that understanding these signs not only helps us protect our own energy but also encourages empathy and compassion.

After all, those who exhibit these behaviors might be struggling with their own issues.

In the words of the late Robin Williams, “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

As we wrap up this discussion, I would like to suggest a video by Justin Brown that continues this exploration in a meaningful way.

This video focuses on the complexities of finding a life partner, sharing personal experiences and valuable insights that align beautifully with the topic we’ve been discussing.

Remember, understanding our relationships and interactions is a journey, not a destination.

Let’s keep learning and growing together.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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