If someone is deeply unhappy in life, they’ll often display these 7 behaviors

It’s Lachlan Brown here, the founder of Hack Spirit and a lover of all things mindfulness. Let’s talk about unhappiness.

Unhappiness is often a silent burden that many carry. It’s tricky, because it doesn’t always announce itself with tears or tantrums. Sometimes, it’s hidden in everyday behaviors that may seem inconsequential.

When someone is deeply unhappy in life, they’ll often exhibit certain behaviors. Learning to recognize these signs can be a valuable tool in understanding and helping those around us.

In this article, I’m going to reveal 7 behaviors that are often displayed by those who are deeply unhappy. The aim here isn’t to diagnose or judge, but to help us all be more mindful and compassionate in our interactions with others.

1) Extreme isolation

Unhappiness doesn’t always present itself loudly. Sometimes, it’s wrapped in silence and seclusion.

People who are deeply unhappy often retreat from social situations. They may avoid gatherings, neglect relationships, and prefer to spend most of their time alone. This isn’t always an indication of introversion, but could signal a deeper internal struggle.

However, let’s not rush to conclusions. It’s crucial to know that everyone has their own way of coping with life’s ups and downs. Some people might need more personal space and alone time to recharge.

Still, when someone who is usually sociable starts distancing themselves from everyone, it could be a sign of deep unhappiness. Our aim here is not to label or judge, but to understand and offer support where it’s needed.

2) Constant negativity

I’ve always been a believer in the power of positivity. But there was a time when I’d found myself caught in a spiral of negative thoughts.

It’s something I’ve noticed with people who are deeply unhappy – they tend to harbor a constant cloud of negativity. It’s as if they’re wearing glasses that only allow them to see the worst in every situation.

I remember a period in my life when everything seemed bleak. Even the smallest of setbacks felt like insurmountable obstacles. It wasn’t until I acknowledged my unhappiness and sought help that I was able to start seeing the world in a brighter light again.

If you notice someone who is persistently negative, it might be more than just a bad day or week. They could be wrestling with deep-seated unhappiness.

3) Changes in appetite

When we talk about unhappiness, we often focus on the emotional signs. But did you know that our physical health can also reflect our emotional well-being?

Changes in appetite can be a clear indication of someone’s state of mind. Some people may lose their appetite when they’re deeply unhappy, leading to significant weight loss. Others might turn to comfort eating, leading to weight gain.

A study found a strong link between depression and obesity. Unhappiness can lead to a vicious cycle of unhealthy eating, poor body image, and increased unhappiness.

4) Persistent dissatisfaction

Buddhism has always fascinated me, particularly its teachings on the nature of dissatisfaction or ‘dukkha’. According to Buddha, life is inherently unsatisfactory due to its impermanence and our attachment to transient pleasures.

Now, it’s natural for us all to feel dissatisfied from time to time. However, when someone is deeply unhappy, this sense of dissatisfaction becomes a constant companion.

They might seem perpetually discontented with their life, their relationships, their job – pretty much everything.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into how adopting Buddhist principles can help us navigate such feelings.

I discuss the idea of ‘Anicca’, or impermanence, and how understanding this concept can help us accept the transient nature of life and find peace amidst dissatisfaction.

So, if you notice a friend or loved one constantly expressing dissatisfaction, it might be a sign of deep unhappiness.

It’s not about playing armchair psychologist but being empathetic and maybe even suggesting resources (like my book) that could provide some comfort or guidance.

5) Neglect of personal appearance

There was a time in my life when I’d wake up and not care about how I looked. I’d wear the same clothes for days, ignore my unkempt hair, and neglect basic personal hygiene.

Looking back, I realize that it was more than just laziness or a relaxed attitude towards appearance — it was a reflection of my internal state.

When someone is deeply unhappy, they often lose interest in maintaining their personal appearance.

They might wear the same clothes repeatedly, neglect personal grooming, or appear disheveled. It’s as if their external appearance becomes a mirror to their internal turmoil.

But it’s important to tread lightly. Our goal is not to criticize or dictate how someone should present themselves, but to notice changes and offer support when needed.

After all, everyone has their own journey, and sometimes, we just need someone who can walk beside us without judgement.

6) Excessive cheerfulness

This might seem surprising, but excessive cheerfulness can sometimes be a sign of deep unhappiness.

It’s not uncommon for people to put on a happy facade to hide their inner turmoil. They might go out of their way to appear upbeat, lively, and excessively happy all the time.

However, this constant need to wear a ‘happy mask’ can be exhausting and may indicate that they’re compensating for something lacking in their life. It’s as if they’re trying to convince themselves and others that everything is perfect when it’s not.

Of course, it’s essential to differentiate between genuine happiness and a facade. Not everyone who is cheerful is unhappy. But if you notice someone displaying an ‘over-the-top’ level of cheerfulness that seems out of character, it could be a sign of deeper unhappiness.

7) Loss of interest in hobbies

We all have activities we love, things that light us up and make our hearts sing. For some, it might be painting, for others hiking or reading books. But when someone is deeply unhappy, they often lose interest in these once-beloved hobbies.

They might stop doing things they used to love, lose their passion for hobbies, or find no joy in activities they once enjoyed. It’s as if the color has drained out of their world, leaving everything dull and uninteresting.

It’s important to remember that we all go through phases where our interests change or evolve. But if you notice a sustained loss of interest in activities someone previously loved, it could be a sign of deep-seated unhappiness.

Our role here is not to force them back into old hobbies but to offer support and understanding. Sometimes, a gentle nudge or a shared activity can reignite the spark of joy they’ve lost.

Final thoughts: Compassion is key

Understanding human behavior is a complex web of emotions, biochemistry, and personal experiences. When it comes to unhappiness, the signs are often subtle and easily overlooked.

These behaviors we’ve explored are not definitive proof of someone’s internal state, but they can provide insight into what someone might be going through. It’s important to approach these signs with compassion and understanding, rather than judgement or assumptions.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into the Buddhist concept of compassion. Buddhism teaches us about the power of empathy and understanding in dealing with our own struggles and those of others.

So if you notice these signs in someone you know, remember your role is not to fix them or offer unsolicited advice. Instead, provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, or just your silent presence.

Sometimes, knowing that someone cares can make a world of difference to someone who is deeply unhappy.

Ultimately, compassion is our most powerful tool in connecting with others and helping them navigate their journey through life’s ups and downs.