Kiran Athar
Dating is hard enough as it is, but throw in toxic tendencies and negative personality traits, and it becomes even more complex.
And while the goal isn’t to find someone who is perfect (news flash, they don’t exist), we all hope to find someone who is fundamentally a good person, and as a result, will be a good partner.
I’m all up for giving people chances, especially if they’re working on their issues.
But with that being said, some people should be kept off-limits, especially if you’re in the hopes of building a loving, stable, and healthy relationship.
So, without further ado, if someone has these 10 personality traits, they’re completely undateable:
1) They’re manipulative
Manipulation can come in many different forms, such as:
- Gaslighting (making you feel confused and doubtful about your own emotions, memories, and experiences)
- Guilt tripping (making you feel guilty for pretty much anything you do that the manipulator doesn’t agree with)
- Love bombing (attempting to influence you by displaying extreme amounts of affection and attention)
- Victim playing (to keep your sympathy at all times)
In fact, there are so many types of manipulation that I don’t have enough time or space to list them! For a more comprehensive overview, I recommend checking out this guide.
But whichever type a person displays, there’s no question that it makes them completely undateable.
The truth is you never fully understand what a manipulative person’s intentions are. Is it to keep control?
Is it for their own financial, or even sexual, gain?
Either way, it’s best to avoid someone with this trait, unless you want to fall into a cycle of toxicity and heartbreak!
2) They’re full of themselves
Next up we have the folks that are so self-centered they forget they’re sharing the planet with eight billion other people.
They talk constantly about themselves…They think constantly about themselves too.
So, on the surface, it’s obvious that they’re far from dateable.
But what’s the real consequence of dating someone like this, other than getting a headache from eye-rolling at their self-centered narratives?
Well, you’ll quickly feel your self-esteem dropping. You’ll often feel ignored, uncared for, and even unwanted.
And when it comes to your emotions? Ha. Good luck with that.
A self-centered person always prioritizes themselves, and usually at the expense of everyone around them!
3) They’re uncontrollably angry
Ever met someone who seems to go from 0-60 in no time?
One minute they’re happily enjoying their dessert, the next they’re screaming at the waiter because they forgot to bring their glass of water.
Well, I have news for you – people like this are totally undateable.
We all have moments of anger. But the key to being an emotionally mature person is knowing how to handle those feelings and avoid taking them out on everyone else.
Not only could dating someone like this result in an extremely volatile relationship but there’s also a high chance it could end up being an abusive one too.
Ultimately, people who can’t control their anger tend to have deep-rooted issues and will need professional help before they can embark on healthy, meaningful relationships.
4) They’re excessively jealous
I don’t know about you, but as a teenage girl, I had a misconception about jealousy. I thought the more jealous a guy is, the more he loves you.
But time and experience have taught me that jealousy is truly an ugly trait.
Sure, we all experience it from time to time, and in small doses, it’s pretty normal.
But being excessively jealous isn’t.
Date someone like this, and before you know it, it won’t just be talking to the opposite sex that kick starts a fight, it’ll be things like:
- What you wear
- Who you hang out with
- The pages you follow on social media
- The colleagues you’re friends with outside of work
Anything will set them off.
The brutal truth is that excessively jealous people are usually incredibly insecure. But through hounding their partners, they can often make you feel insecure too.
Give it enough time, and your self-esteem will hit rock bottom – not a good position to be in.
5) They lack empathy
Empathy – you’ve likely come across this word before, it’s picked up in popularity over the last few years, and for good reason.
When someone is empathetic, they can put themselves in the shoes of others, even if they’ve never been through the exact same experience.
And in a relationship, this is crucial!
It builds a stronger connection and most importantly, trust.
On the other hand, someone who lacks empathy can make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid or important.
They probably won’t be there to give you a big hug or a shoulder to cry on when you’re going through a tough time.
And when it comes to arguments?
They’ll rarely try to see it from your perspective. And this, in my eyes, makes them completely undateable.
6) They’re dishonest
But worse than not having empathy is being dishonest. If you meet someone like this, the best course of action is to run for the hills!
As we all know, a relationship is nothing without trust.
So if someone is prone to exaggerating, or bending the truth to get what they want (or to avoid taking responsibility for their actions), it’s pointless even trying to form a connection with them.
Not to mention, if you do get into a relationship with someone like this, you’ll constantly be worrying about whether they’re telling you the truth or not.
Something as simple as them going to the store or meeting a friend will raise suspicion, and is that the type of relationship you want to be in?
7) They’re humorless
This next trait might surprise you, but it’s made the list for good reason…
Someone who has no sense of humor is completely undateable. Unless you have no sense of humor too, then it might work out.
Here’s the thing, laughter and being able to joke around is one of the best bonding techniques out there.
And it makes sense…
When you go on a date, it’s usually that first chuckle that breaks the ice and gets both people relaxed and in the mood to have fun.
So, without that, you’ll be working pretty hard to keep things interesting.
But that’s not all – imagine a life with someone who can never take a joke? Who is never lighthearted or able to brighten the mood with a bit of banter?
Things would get boring very quickly!
8) They’re extremely judgmental
Now, another red flag trait to look out for when considering whether to date someone is if they’re extremely judgmental.
I need to emphasize the word “extremely” because, to some degree, we’re all judgmental.
But someone who does it like it’s a national sport will be impossible to date. If they’re not judging you, your choices, and your lifestyle, they’ll be judging your friends and family.
They’ll be the type to treat someone poorly based on the clothes they’re wearing, or the job they work in.
Ultimately, being extremely judgmental can equate to being unkind and intolerant.
Now, does that sound like someone you’d wanna take home to meet the folks?
Probably not.
9) They’re disrespectful
Respect is an incredibly important trait to look out for in everyone you form connections with.
Because without it, you’re in for a rough ride.
If someone exhibits the following, it’s best to stay well clear of them:
- They rude
- They’re inconsiderate of people’s feelings and time
- They deliberately like pushing people’s boundaries
- They often make belittling remarks
Ultimately, respect is essential to create a healthy relationship.
When two people treat each other fairly and honestly and respect each other’s boundaries, both end up feeling appreciated and cared for.
But date someone who has no respect, and you’ll find yourself extremely unhappy.
10) They’re chronically negative
And finally, if you encounter a Negative Nelly, it’s another personality trait of someone who is completely undateable.
These folks can turn a bright sunny day into dark clouds and rain.
Somehow, they manage to suck the happiness out of everyone around them, much like Dementors do to souls (that one’s for my HP fans out there).
Even if you might find this dark, brooding vibe attractive, trust me, it’ll quickly wear off.
Every time you suggest something fun, they’ll put a negative spin on it. Every time you reminisce on a happy memory, they’ll find some reason to complain.
People like this thrive off being unhappy, and if you spend enough time with them, they’ll take you down too!
So, we’ve covered 10 personality traits that make a person completely undateable. It’s unlikely you’ll find someone with all of these traits (unless you’re very unlucky), but any one of them is enough to be a red flag.
And whilst some of these traits will take time to display themselves, it’s still worth being alert and paying attention – most people reveal their true personalities in the smallest of situations and encounters, so always keep a lookout!
