If someone genuinely can’t stand you, they’ll usually display these subtle 9 behaviors

People are complex and often show their true feelings through subtle actions, rather than words.

When someone genuinely can’t stand you, they tend to reveal this through small, but noticeable behaviors.

It’s not always easy to spot these signs, but once you know what to look for, you can gain a better understanding of how others truly feel about you.

In this article, we’ll explore the subtle 9 behaviors that typically indicate someone genuinely can’t stand you.

It’s all about observing, understanding, and interpreting. 

Let’s dive in. 

1) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a fundamental part of human communication.

When someone is genuinely interested in you or what you’re saying, they’ll often maintain a steady level of eye contact. It’s a powerful way of showing respect and engagement.

But if someone can’t stand you, they’ll usually do the opposite.

They may avoid your gaze or look away quickly when your eyes meet. This is a subtle sign, but it’s a clear indication that they’re uncomfortable around you.

It’s not just about rudeness or indifference – it’s more about their discomfort and disinterest in engaging with you.

So, if you notice that someone consistently avoids eye contact, it may be a sign that they genuinely can’t stand you.

Not everyone who avoids eye contact harbors negative feelings. Some people may just be shy or anxious. It’s important to consider the full context of their behavior.

2) They’re frequently curt with you

In my own experience, I’ve noticed that when someone genuinely can’t stand me, they tend to be curt in their responses.

There was this colleague at an old job who, no matter how much I tried to engage him in friendly conversation, would always reply with short, one-word answers. “Yes.” “No.” “Maybe.”

It wasn’t just that he was a man of few words. With others, he was quite chatty and engaging. But with me? Always curt and aloof.

In retrospect, it was clear that his curt responses were a subtle sign of his genuine dislike for me. He wasn’t outright hostile or rude, but he also made no effort to engage or connect.

If you notice someone consistently keeping their responses short and curt only with you, it might be an indication that they genuinely can’t stand you.

But again, consider the whole picture before drawing any conclusions.

3) They mimic your negative body language

Body language is a powerful communicator of our feelings and intentions. Interestingly, research shows that when we dislike someone, we tend to unconsciously mirror their negative body language.

If someone can’t stand you, they might subtly mimic your crossed arms, hunched shoulders, or other closed-off postures. This mirroring is a subconscious way of expressing their negative feelings towards you.

This doesn’t mean that every time someone mirrors your body language they dislike you. In fact, mirroring is often a sign of rapport and empathy. But if it’s consistently negative and accompanied by other signs on this list, it could indicate genuine dislike.

Understanding this complex communication can help you identify if someone genuinely can’t stand you. It’s all about paying attention to the subtleties.

4) They hardly initiate conversation

Initiating conversation is a clear sign of interest and engagement. It shows that the person values your company and is interested in what you have to say.

But when someone can’t stand you, they’ll likely avoid starting conversations with you. They may respond when you talk to them, but they won’t be the ones to initiate dialogue.

It’s as if they’re doing the bare minimum to maintain social decorum, but without any genuine interest or enthusiasm.

If you’ve noticed that a certain someone always waits for you to start a conversation and never initiates one themselves, it could be a sign that they genuinely can’t stand you.

But some people are naturally reserved or shy. Don’t jump to conclusions based on this sign alone. Always consider the overall context and other signs.

5) They often seem distracted

When someone is genuinely interested in you, they will give you their full attention. They will listen to what you have to say, make eye contact, and engage in the conversation.

But if someone can’t stand you, they won’t make such an effort. They might look around the room while you’re speaking, check their phone, or seem mentally elsewhere. They could be physically present but mentally disinterested.

This kind of behavior can be subtle, but it’s a clear indication that they aren’t interested in engaging with you.

If you notice someone consistently showing signs of distraction during your interactions, it could be a sign that they genuinely can’t stand you.

Eeveryone gets distracted sometimes. But if it’s a consistent pattern, it might be more than just coincidence.

6) They rarely share personal information

Sharing personal information is a way of building trust and intimacy in any relationship. It’s a sign that we feel comfortable with someone and that we value our connection with them.

When someone can’t stand you, they’ll often withhold personal information. They’ll keep conversations surface-level, avoiding topics that could lead to deeper understanding or emotional connection.

This isn’t just about being private or reserved. It’s about keeping a distance, emotionally and mentally.

It can be hurtful to realize that someone you’re trying to connect with is deliberately keeping you at arm’s length. But recognizing this behavior can help you understand their true feelings and perhaps save you from further heartache.

If you find someone consistently avoiding sharing personal details, it might be a sign they genuinely can’t stand you. As always, consider the full context before drawing conclusions.

7) They rarely smile genuinely around you

Genuine smiles can tell you a lot about how someone feels about you. Smiles that reach the eyes, often known as Duchenne smiles, are hard to fake and are a sign of genuine happiness or affection.

I remember a time when I started feeling like a friend of mine wasn’t really enjoying my company. I noticed that while she would smile when we met, her smiles rarely reached her eyes. It felt forced and insincere.

Eventually, I realized that her lack of genuine smiles was a subtle sign of her true feelings. She didn’t outright say it, but her behavior made it clear she didn’t enjoy spending time with me.

If you notice someone rarely giving you a genuine smile, it could be a subtle sign they can’t stand you. Keep in mind, though, everyone has off days. Consider this sign alongside other behaviors before drawing conclusions.

8) They often seem impatient with you

Impatience can be a subtle sign of irritation or dislike. When someone can’t stand you, they might often seem in a hurry to end conversations or interactions with you.

They might interrupt you, look at their watch, make excuses to leave, or show other signs of impatience. These behaviors suggest that they’re not enjoying your company and are eager to move on.

It’s important not to take this personally. They may be dealing with their own issues or stressors that have nothing to do with you.

But if someone consistently seems impatient specifically with you, it could be a sign that they genuinely can’t stand you. 

9) They hardly show empathy towards you

Empathy is at the heart of all strong, healthy relationships. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

When someone can’t stand you, they often struggle to show empathy towards you. You might notice that they don’t seem to care about your feelings, show indifference when you’re upset, or fail to understand your point of view.

This lack of empathy can be subtle, but it’s a powerful sign of their true feelings. If someone can’t empathize with you, it could indicate that they genuinely can’t stand you.

Empathy is a complex emotion that everyone expresses differently. Look for a consistent pattern of behavior before drawing conclusions.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not changing

The subtle behaviors we’ve discussed are not always easy to spot, but they can provide valuable insights into how others perceive us.

However, it’s essential to remember that these behaviors are more about them than you. They reflect their feelings, perspectives, and personal issues.

It’s also crucial to remember that everyone has the right to their feelings, even if those feelings are negative towards us. Understanding this can prevent us from taking things too personally or trying to change ourselves to please others.

So, if you discover someone genuinely can’t stand you, don’t let it shake your self-esteem. Take it as an opportunity for reflection and growth.

Remember, everyone won’t like you, and that’s okay. The most important thing is that you like yourself. And who knows? Understanding these subtle signs might even help you navigate social dynamics more effectively.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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