If someone does these 11 things, they’re probably an introverted extravert

Introverted extraverts, as the name implies, are people who are a bit of an introvert and a bit of an extrovert.

They love to be around people…but then they’d start to get depleted at some point and would want to be alone again.

Curious to know whether you or someone you know is an introverted extravert?

Here are 11 things they do that define them.

1) They befriend different personality types

Introverted extraverts are easily comfortable in social situations whether they may be with introverts, extroverts or anyone in between. 

When extroverts take the spotlight, the introverted extravert happily lets them and listens if they are interested. 

They are also able to tune in to introverts’ unique interests and engage them in a conversation.

They’ll be happy to share some time with you whether you’re someone as loud as Jeniffer Coolidge or as quiet and tough as Greta Thunberg. 

As long as they jive with you, they’ll befriend you.

2) They comfortable with ‘dead air’ 

Extroverts feel the need to say something when there’s a pause, while introverts prefer to not talk at all but still feel awkward.

The introverted extraverted, on the other hand, is just as comfortable in conversation and in the silences in between. 

They even enjoy it! They use the pauses to recharge and rest while processing and feeling the environment. 

3) They have the urge to grow both inward and outward (at the same time!)

Introverted extraverts want it all…and why the hell not?

They believe they can flourish on the outside (money, career, a house, and a loving family) but also grow inward (good relationship with oneself, being spiritual).

Many of us think it’s almost impossible to do both at the same time, but the well-adjusted introverted extravert can pull it off just fine.

If you’re struggling to grow inward and outward at the same time, it’s probably because you see spirituality as a big job—like you have to be a monk of some kind who meditates 20 times a day.

Let me tell you this: You don’t pause your life so you can start your spiritual journey. Your journey can start anytime—even today if you decide to.

This is what I learned from world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. For thirty years, he’s been teaching modern-day techniques on how to grow spiritually.

If you want to get a glimpse of his approach to spirituality, click here to watch the free video.

4) They sometimes “host then ghost”

While they can be the life of the party, the introverted extravert often needs time to prepare and replenish in between social situations.  

This may mean they will host a few events to respond to their need for stimulating interactions… but then have to cancel or not show up on the said events because they suddenly have a need to recharge.

In other words, they have the tendency to make plans but then bail at the last minute.

While understandable, this can be tricky when it comes to managing social obligations because it means disappointing friends and family. 

That’s why the introverted extravert should fully embrace who they are so they can find ways to deal with their “weaknesses” such as this.

5) They work best behind the scenes

Introverted extraverts can be really charismatic in person so it can be surprising to other people when they avoid the spotlight.

They usually don’t look shy but unless they are really prepared, it’s difficult for them to be at the center of attention. 

But they also have a need for recognition and balancing it with the discomfort of being the center of attention can be tough.

If you’re not an introverted extravert, you might even think they’re simply faking it, but of course, they aren’t. And this is one of the reasons why I said they can be hard to pin down.

6) They take breathers in between social situations

The introverted extravert takes note of spaces and moments where they can sneak out for a breather when they need to. 

Whether it’s taking a walk alone in the garden in the middle of an event, or even using bathroom breaks, they need a moment to be alone to avoid being overstimulated.

Depending on where they are in the spectrum, they can often bounce back when depleted and dive right back in before anyone finds out they are missing.

7) They give excellent advice

Introverted extraverts are the go-to person in their circle of friends and family when the going gets tough.

They will ask the right questions, listen with empathy and balance their deep sensitivity with their gift of connecting.

When an introverted extravert shares their wisdom, it comes from a space of empathy

While extroverts may take charge of the situation and introverts may hesitate to speak and instead choose to be a sounding board, an introverted extravert feels through what is most appropriate and needed in the situation.

8) They block off alone time in their calendar

For introverted extraverts, alone time is as much of a necessity as oxygen. 

They share the trait of introverts of needing alone time to fully recharge, the main difference being that introverted extraverts have both a higher need and desire for social gatherings. 

But as much as they crave the company of other people, introverted extraverts slowly get depleted in social situations, hence their need for solitude.

9) They travel solo

Solo traveling is the ultimate hobby for the introverted extravert.  

Once they begin solo travel, they find it’s the ultimate sweet spot since they can have as much alone time as they need and while meeting new people.

Staying in a coffee shop for hours, then going to a concert with new friends they just recently met on the road—this is simply a day in the life of a solo traveling introvert extravert.

10) They master the French exit

As a guest, the introverted extravert masters the French exit of leaving discreetly without saying goodbye without being rude.

If they don’t vibe or connect with the energy of the people and the space, or simply get too drained, the introverted extravert will simply slip out. They don’t like the feeling of “bothering” people just to say goodbye.

Of course, they’ll later send a gracious message afterwards informing the host and friends.

11) They curate their preferences for going out

Introverted extraverts often have to feel through their need for socialization and alone time. So over the years, they become very picky.

They carefully choose the people, the food, the ambiance, and the activities that either energize or deplete them.

While this may make them appear as not the most easygoing of people, once an introverted extravert decides to socialize, it’s necessary for them so they can navigate most situations with ease.

Last words

Can you relate to most of the things mentioned in this list?

Then you, my dear, are an introverted extravert.

Life as an introverted extravert can be confusing at times.

A part of you is always craving company while another part is also thoroughly enjoying solitude.

But once you fully embrace it, you’ll find that it’s really having the best of both worlds—having the depth of introspection and while having the gift to make plenty of connections.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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