Adrian Volenik
If you’re insecure whether your partner loves you or not, you’ve come to the right place.
I’ll show you what they’re doing when they don’t love you. Whether your relationship is at its start or you’ve been married for a long time, these actions indicate the worst has happened.
So, let’s see what these things are.
1) Disrespect you
Respect is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Continuous disrespect through hurtful words or demeaning actions erodes your sense of self-worth and leads to emotional pain.
Love and respect go hand in hand, and a partner who truly loves you will treat you with kindness, consideration, and empathy.
Disrespect is one of the first red flags you need to pay attention to. Almost every other harmful behavior stems from this one.
2) Don’t communicate
Effective communication is the bridge that connects two people emotionally. When your partner avoids sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, it creates a sense of distance and detachment.
We then quickly lose intimacy and understanding, essential components of a loving relationship.
You have to nip this behavior in the bud, as your problems will only worsen once you stop communicating properly.
All my past relationship problems started when we stopped communicating as we did before.
And in the age of smartphones, communication problems are only getting worse for all couples out there.
3) They’re unreliable
Keeping promises and commitments is a way of showing that you value someone’s time and feelings.
If your partner consistently breaks promises or fails to follow through on commitments, it naturally creates disappointment and frustration in you.
But this behavior also shows something else. They don’t prioritize your feelings or the relationship itself. In fact, they might not even love you (anymore).
It’s a tough pill to swallow. But being unreliable isn’t the only thing you should look out for. It’s usually a combination of many things on this list that will lead you to a conclusion.
Such as:
4) Lack effort
We all know just how much effort and investment relationships require. When one person isn’t actively contributing to the relationship’s growth and well-being, it results in an imbalance.
Love should be demonstrated through actions that show care, support, and a genuine interest in the other person’s happiness. A lack of effort signifies a lack of emotional investment.
For example, they forget important dates like anniversaries or birthdays, showing a lack of thoughtfulness and consideration for your feelings.
Or if your partner consistently avoids discussing problems or making efforts to resolve conflicts. That shows a lack of commitment to working through difficulties together.
5) Behave secretively
While everyone is entitled to personal privacy, excessive secrecy simply breeds mistrust and insecurity.
Suppose your partner consistently hides aspects of their life from you. In that case, it makes you feel excluded and doubting the depth of your emotional connection.
I wouldn’t go as far as to snoop in their phone, but I’d definitely see if they display some other things on this list, too.
Which leads us to spending quality time together. Or the lack of.
6) Avoid quality time
Spending quality time together is an opportunity to bond and create special memories. But what happens if your partner consistently avoids such moments?
Or they prioritize other activities over spending time with you?
Well, you’re probably left feeling unimportant and unloved. You see, meaningful interactions build and strengthen emotional bonds.
If you can’t find it in your partner, or vice versa, you might look for it elsewhere.
7) Frequently disappear
Another awful thing, and perhaps one of the worst on this list, is if your partner consistently disappears or goes silent without explanation.
This obviously creates uncertainty and anxiety in you. I know it would in me.
You can’t have a strong relationship without open communication and trust that they’ll be available and not disappear God knows where at any moment.
8) Compare you to others negatively
Another grave mistake some partners make is comparing their significant other to other people. Even when it’s only done in their head.
When you love someone, you appreciate and value them for who they are.
Constantly comparing you unfavorably to others chips away at your self-esteem and creates a toxic environment.
I celebrate my wife’s unique qualities and support her personal growth. She, of course, does the same for me.
9) Ignore boundaries
Setting and respecting boundaries is another important ingredient of healthy relationships.
If your partner disregards your boundaries, how does that make you feel?
For example, they consistently go through your phone or computer without your permission, invading your privacy and disregarding your need for personal space.
Or frequently sharing personal details about your relationship or intimate moments with others without your consent.
By doing things like these, they obviously don’t appreciate you and don’t prioritize your emotional well-being.
And when you confront them, what do they typically do?
10) Shift blame
If a partner can’t or won’t take responsibility for their actions and consistently shifts blame onto you, they’re toxic. There’s no other word I’d use in this case.
In some relationships, both partners do this. Their first impulse is always to blame others for something they did or didn’t do.
Why didn’t you remind me, why didn’t you tell me, you’re too sensitive, I didn’t have time…
Do any of these sound familiar?
11) Don’t support you
Love means being there for each other during both good and challenging times. If your partner is absent or unsupportive when facing difficulties, they probably don’t love you.
I mean, what else can you conclude out of that? Laziness? Perhaps, but lack of love is a significant aspect for sure.
Genuine love includes offering comfort, encouragement, and a listening ear. For instance, they contribute to shared responsibilities in the relationship, such as household chores, financial decisions, and planning.
They understand that a partnership involves shared efforts and cooperation. If someone can’t do that as a bottom line, they don’t even deserve you.
12) Manipulate you
Manipulative behavior, such as trying to control your emotions or decisions, is incredibly emotionally damaging.
For example, using guilt to get you to do what they want. They say, “If you loved me, you’d do this for me,” making you feel guilty for not complying with their request.
Or using silence and emotional withdrawal as a means of control. A partner might ignore you or refuse to communicate until you give in to their demands.
But a partner who truly loves you will respect your autonomy and never resort to manipulation to get their way.
If you suspect you’re being manipulated, seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, communication, and genuine care for each other’s well-being.
13) Prioritize others
While maintaining individual relationships is important, consistently placing others above you results in feelings of neglect and insignificance.
Like when they frequently cancel or reschedule plans with you because something else comes up with friends or family.
Or whenever you express you want something, your partner dismisses it or shows little interest, but readily accommodates the wishes of their friends or family.
Even writing these things makes my blood boil.
When you love someone, you prioritize them and demonstrate that they hold a special place in your life.
You don’t make excuses. It’s as simple as that!
14) They’re emotionally unavailable
I could list many more things, but I’ll only do one more. And it’s all about emotional intimacy.
Like when your partner consistently avoids discussing their feelings, personal experiences, or deeper thoughts.
They change the subject or deflect when you try to have meaningful conversations.
Emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of love, and if your partner consistently avoids discussing their feelings, struggles to express emotions, or shuts down emotionally, it harms the deep connection that love requires.
Emotional vulnerability is crucial for building trust and closeness.
Final thoughts
I hope you didn’t recognize your partner in any of these. But even if you have, I wouldn’t make any brash decisions. Think things through and seek professional help if needed.
