I don’t claim to be able to predict the future.
But I can tell you with high probability whether your partner is going to remain loyal or not.
This isn’t about whether you’re with a “good” or “sleazy” person. It goes to a deeper level about the way we function and communicate.
All too often love can blind us to red flags that somebody is a future cheater. Alternately, a slower period of getting serious with someone can make you miss the small signals that they’re actually a very loyal and loving choice for a partner.
Let’s take a look at the top traits that show who will be loyal in a relationship.
1) They’re a truth-teller
Honesty can’t be overrated.
It’s so vital to any relationship and somebody’s character.
It’s easy to tell the truth when there’s no pressure and no benefit from lying. But change the stakes a little and lots of people start telling white lies, then bigger lies.
Watch for how somebody handles the subject of telling the truth.
Is it important to them or do they downplay the concept?
The person who will remain loyal in a relationship takes truth very seriously and does their best to be honest as much as possible.
2) They don’t act impulsively
Impulsiveness is a quality that many of us have but learn to control.
The kind of individual who is able to restrain their desires and act responsibly is somebody who will remain loyal in a relationship.
Look at how a person behaves when they’re out shopping or when they’re eating.
Do they keep buying lots of items they don’t really need just because they want to at that moment? Do they order more side plates and drinks just for the heck of it?
Or do they restrain themselves and only get what they actually need?
3) They communicate well
Communication and trust are the core of relationships for a reason.
If you date somebody who communicates well and speaks their mind, you have a much better chance of them being loyal.
This is not to say that a silver-tongued individual can’t also be a skilled liar, so it’s best to be cautious.
But it is to say that a person who’s willing to communicate and open up is much less likely to be the kind who runs around on you behind your back.
4) They’re self-aware and authentic
Self-awareness is a crucial character trait in relationships, and especially in the kind of man or woman who stays loyal.
When somebody knows themselves, they’re aware of their strengths and weaknesses and they don’t try to look or seem different than they are.
If they get easily distracted by flirtatious people, they reflect on that and put up extra safeguards to seduction or having their mind wander…
If they know that being exhausted at work makes them start to emotionally detach from their partner, they communicate that to any prospective partner…
5) They’re realistic about cheating
“I’d never cheat, oh my God!” is the type of thing somebody says who probably, under the right circumstances, would cheat.
The kind of person who treats cheating as wildly unlikely or “crazy” isn’t ready to have a mature understanding of the subject. Cheating may be an uncomfortable topic, but it’s necessary to discuss, and the kind of person who won’t cheat is comfortable speaking openly about the issue.
Cheating isn’t crazy, since it clearly happens and even people who think they never would do so end up doing it. People who understand this are able to have a mature discussion of it and be conscious in their avoidance of infidelity.
6) They’re sexually honest and forthcoming
We all have a different relation to sex and intimacy, and it’s not a topic that can be pressured.
But the kind of person who cheats usually isn’t very forthcoming or honest about their sexual desires and what they like in bed.
They play a role they imagine is expected without truly being honest about what turns them on and what they want sexually.
This is a recipe for cheating and them seeking action on the side.
7) They’ve faced their shadow
The next thing in a partner who doesn’t cheat is that they’ve faced their shadow.
Psychologists like Carl Jung talked about the shadow as all those parts of ourselves that contain repressed fears, desires and ideas.
We push down what we can’t process or understand, and it’s up to us to slowly become aware of the shadow and integrate it, realising the shadow isn’t “bad” or shameful, but is simply the unexpressed and unrecognized aspects of our life experience.
People who have faced their shadow are much more self-aware and likely to be far more loyal and trustworthy.
8) They know their own family traumas
Family trauma including things such as infidelity often leaves scars, visible and invisible.
Those who stay loyal are aware of the family trauma that shaped their upbringing and are processing and reflecting on that.
They are self-aware of how generational trauma can shape things like infidelity, separation and relationship issues.
They’re becoming more conscious so they can avoid hurting themselves and others.
9) They stick by people through thick and thin
The kind of person who stays loyal in a relationship is not a fair weather partner.
They stick by people through thick and thin:
Family, friends, business associates, you name it.
When times get tough, they don’t bail out on these folks.
They stand by them and work through the problems that are coming up.
This instinct to stick by others and not give up on them transfers through to relationships, and is exactly the kind of person who doesn’t bail out or cheat just because times get tough.
10) They stay open even during hard times
As the saying goes: “hurt people hurt people.”
It’s absolutely true.
But the partner who stays loyal reacts to pain differently. Instead of closing down and cheating or lashing out, they stay open.
They communicate through the pain and they are honest about what’s going on.
If you’ve ever been with somebody who doesn’t do that, then you know what a big difference it makes to find somebody who does.
11) They respect people’s boundaries and individuality
If you’re looking for a person who will be loyal, look for someone who genuinely respects boundaries and individuality.
This is the type who can say “well, let’s agree to disagree…”
And actually mean it. Without bitterness.
This kind of person stays loyal because they are willing to allow differences and diversity in more than just name.
They’re actually able to accept that people are different and that as long as there’s respect coming their way, they can be fine with somebody else not agreeing or needing space.
12) They are able to make difficult decisions and be honest about it
The loyal partner is able to make difficult decisions and be honest about it.
He or she doesn’t shirk away from hard truths and hard conversations.
Being able to have an easygoing chat or say they’re a bit overloaded with work lately is no big deal.
But a person who’s truly loyal has to be willing to have those really hard conversations, too.
In other words, they have to be willing to admit if they want to break up or are feeling conflicted about the relationship and things like that.
If not, they’re far more likely to just avoid such discussions and cheat on you anyway.