Mia Zhang
Trust is a vital part of any relationship, but it’s not something you hand out freely. It’s earned through actions, words, and most importantly, behavior.
But here’s the thing – not everyone you cross paths with is as trustworthy as they may seem. Some people have a knack for exhibiting subtle behaviors that reveal their true intentions.
I’m here to help you identify these red flags. By paying attention to these small yet significant signs, you can spare yourself from deceit and disappointment.
1) They’re seldom consistent
Consistency is a virtue that most trustworthy people possess. It helps to establish predictability and reliability – two cornerstones of trust.
But here’s the catch – those who are not to be trusted often lack consistency. Their words don’t match their actions, or their behavior varies drastically depending on the situation or the people they’re interacting with.
This inconsistency raises a red flag. It shows that they might not be as genuine as they appear, and can be a sign of manipulation or deceit.
If someone’s words and actions don’t align, or if their behavior seems to change like the wind, take note. Trust is built on consistency.
2) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact is an essential part of communication. It shows that the person you’re talking to is engaged, present, and most importantly, honest.
However, I’ve noticed that people who are not to be trusted often avoid eye contact. They might look down, glance away, or just seem distracted.
Here’s a personal example. I once had a colleague who would always look elsewhere whenever we were in a meeting. At first, I thought he was just shy or uncomfortable. But over time, I noticed other odd behaviors – like being vague about his tasks or evasive about deadlines.
Eventually, it became clear that he wasn’t being entirely truthful about his work. The lack of eye contact was a subtle sign of his dishonesty.
3) They’re quick to point fingers
Taking responsibility for one’s mistakes is a mark of integrity. It shows that a person is honest, accountable, and humble – all traits of a trustworthy individual.
On the contrary, those who are quick to blame others may not be as reliable. They tend to deflect responsibility and place the blame on someone else, even when they’re clearly at fault.
So if you notice someone constantly pointing fingers and refusing to take responsibility, it might be a subtle hint that they’re not trustworthy.
4) They break promises often
Promises are a verbal contract of trust and credibility. When someone makes a promise, they’re essentially saying, “You can rely on me.”
But when someone frequently breaks their promises, it’s more than just disappointing. It’s a clear sign that they can’t be trusted. Whether it’s casual commitments or serious obligations, if they’re constantly letting you down, it’s time to question their trustworthiness.
When you see that someone has a track record of broken promises, understand that it’s not a minor flaw. It’s a glaring sign of unreliability, and you may want to reconsider the level of trust you place in them.
5) They gossip excessively
Gossiping is not just unpleasant; it’s a behavior that can seriously undermine trust. If someone is comfortable speaking negatively about others behind their backs, it’s hard not to wonder what they’re saying about you when you’re not around.
I believe in the old saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s a principle that fosters respect and trust among people.
Excessive gossipers, however, seem to thrive on the opposite. By spreading rumors or sharing confidential information, they’re not just damaging reputations; they’re showing a lack of respect and integrity.
6) They never apologize
We all make mistakes; it’s part of being human. But the ability to admit when we’re wrong and offer a sincere apology is what sets us apart.
I’ve had my fair share of missteps, and I’ve learned that saying sorry doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you value the relationship more than your ego.
But some people seem to struggle with this concept. They never apologize, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. It’s as if admitting their mistake would shatter their image.
This refusal to apologize can be a subtle sign of untrustworthiness. It shows a lack of humility and an inability to take accountability for their actions.
7) They’re overly secretive
Transparency is an essential component of trust. It’s about being open, honest, and willing to share pertinent information.
But those who are not to be trusted often exhibit an excessive amount of secrecy. They might withhold information, evade direct questions, or seem overly protective of their personal affairs.
While everyone has a right to privacy, an unusual level of secrecy can be a red flag. It could suggest that they have something to hide or that they’re not being entirely truthful.
8) They lack empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a trait that fosters connection, understanding, and trust.
However, those who lack empathy often struggle to form genuine, trustworthy relationships. They might disregard others’ feelings, show little interest in others’ experiences, or fail to offer support when it’s needed.
If someone lacks empathy, it’s more than just a personality flaw. It’s a clear sign that they may not be trustworthy. After all, trust is built on mutual understanding and respect – and without empathy, these are hard to achieve.
Endnote: Trust is a journey
Trust is a cornerstone of our relationships and interactions. It’s not just about believing in someone’s words or actions, but also about feeling safe, respected, and valued.
Through my observations and experiences, I’ve come to understand that trust is not merely a destination; it’s a journey. It takes time to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
When you spot these subtle behaviors, remember that they’re not definitive proof of someone’s untrustworthiness. They’re indicators, cautionary signs that urge you to tread carefully on your journey of trust.
Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This wisdom rings especially true when it comes to trust.
So pay attention, be aware, and trust your instincts. Because when it comes to trust, your intuition can often be your most reliable guide.
