We often hear about the clear-cut signs that someone isn’t to be trusted. But what about the more subtle cues?
Believe it or not, small behaviors can reveal a lot about a person’s trustworthiness – or lack thereof.
So, put on your detective glasses and let’s delve into 15 subtle behaviors that might indicate someone isn’t as trustworthy as they seem.
You might just save yourself from some heartache!
1) They’re always “perfect”
As a first clue, pay attention if someone always presents themselves as perfect.
It’s human nature to make mistakes – nobody is perfect, after all.
If someone never admits to any flaws or mistakes, it might be a sign that they’re not being completely honest with you.
They might be trying to create a flawless image to win your trust while hiding their true intentions.
It’s okay to take note of this behavior and keep your guard up.
2) They never make eye contact
Eye contact is a significant aspect of communication.
It shows that the person is attentive, engaged, and present in the conversation.
If someone always avoids making eye contact while talking to you, it could be a sign that they’re trying to hide something.
Their lack of eye contact might indicate discomfort, nervousness, or a fear of being caught in a lie.
Remember, trust is built on open and honest communication, and that includes eye contact!
3) They share too much too soon
While sharing personal information can help build a connection, someone who overshare quickly might not be as trustworthy as they seem.
It might feel like they’re being open and honest, but sometimes this can be a tactic to make you let your guard down.
It’s like they’re trying to create an instant bond to make you feel special and gain your trust.
Keep in mind, true trust takes time to build, it isn’t an overnight affair.
4) Their stories often change
A telltale sign of a person lacking trustworthiness is inconsistency in their stories.
If you notice that the details of their stories often change, it could be because they’re fabricating or exaggerating facts.
When someone is truthful, their stories will remain consistent over time.
So, if you’re hearing multiple versions of the same tale, it might be time to question their credibility.
5) They’re always playing the victim
Trustworthy people take responsibility for their actions, both good and bad.
If someone always portrays themselves as the victim in every situation, it could be a sign they’re not trustworthy.
By avoiding responsibility and blaming others, they’re showing a lack of accountability and integrity.
Remember, a trustworthy person is someone who can admit their faults and learn from their mistakes.
6) They struggle to keep promises
Imagine this: a little boy waiting at the window, his heart pounding with excitement as he watches for his dad’s car.
It’s his birthday, and his dad promised to be home early to celebrate. But as the hours pass, the excitement fades, replaced by disappointment.
Broken promises hurt.
When someone continually breaks their promises, it damages the trust you’ve placed in them. It’s not about the size of the promise; it’s about the reliability of the person making it.
If they can’t be trusted to follow through on small things, can they really be trusted with the bigger ones?
7) They lack empathy
Trust is built on mutual understanding and care.
If a person consistently shows a lack of empathy towards others, it could signal a lack of trustworthiness.
Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
If someone can’t empathize, it might mean they’re more focused on their own interests rather than considering the feelings and needs of others, which is an essential quality in a trustworthy person.
8) They’re quick to anger
Trust involves feeling safe with a person, and someone who is quick to anger can shatter that sense of safety.
If you find that a person’s temper flares up over minor issues, or they react aggressively when challenged, it could be a sign of deeper instability.
This unpredictability can lead to a breakdown of trust, as you might find yourself constantly walking on eggshells around them.
Trustworthy people are usually able to express their frustrations in a calm and controlled manner.
9) They have close guarded secrets
We all have personal aspects of our lives that we prefer to keep private, and that’s perfectly normal.
But when someone is excessively secretive to the point where you know very little about their past, their family, their friends or even their day-to-day life, this might be cause for concern.
Trustworthy individuals often have no problem sharing about their life and experiences, within appropriate boundaries of course. They understand that sharing builds connection and trust.
However, if someone is constantly evading your questions or changing the subject when their personal life comes up, it could indicate that they have something to hide.
This doesn’t automatically mean they’re untrustworthy, but it’s certainly something worth noting.
10) They gossip a lot
Back in my college days, I had a roommate, Jenny. Jenny loved to gossip. She knew all the latest rumors and wasn’t shy about sharing them. For a while, it was entertaining. Who doesn’t love a juicy story, right?
But then I started to wonder: if Jenny was so quick to share other people’s secrets, was she also sharing mine?
I realized that someone who enjoys gossiping can’t be trusted with confidential information.
If they’re talking about others to you, chances are they’re talking about you to others. It was a hard lesson, but an important one.
From then on, I became more cautious about what I shared with Jenny and who I chose to trust.
11) They’re inconsistent
We’ve all had that one friend, right? The one that’s always changing their story. One day it’s this, the next day it’s that. I had a buddy like that once, Mark.
Mark was a great guy, always the life of the party. But when it came to his stories, things never seemed to add up. He’d tell me about his weekend escapades, but the details would change every time he told the story.
Over time, I realized that Mark’s inconsistency was a sign of his untrustworthiness. The tales kept changing because they weren’t true in the first place.
Now I’m not saying that everyone who slips up on their stories is a liar. We all forget things. But if someone consistently changes their narrative? That’s a red flag.
12) They’re quick to place blame
When things go wrong, it’s easy to point fingers.
But someone who never accepts their part in a mistake?
Someone who always seems to find a scapegoat?
That’s a person who’s shielding themselves from the truth, and that’s not the kind of person you can count on when the chips are down.
Those who are quick to blame others and avoid taking responsibility for their actions are often considered less trustworthy.
13) They thrive on drama
Life naturally has its ups and downs, but there’s a big difference between navigating life’s challenges and actively creating unnecessary drama.
If someone seems to be perpetually at the center of conflicts, or if they constantly have a new enemy or story of being wronged, it might not be mere coincidence.
They could be creating these scenarios as a means to control or manipulate situations, or even to draw attention and sympathy towards themselves.
The truth is, a trustworthy person values peace and seeks to foster positive relationships.
They don’t enjoy stirring the pot or causing disruption for the sake of their own amusement or benefit.
If drama seems to follow someone wherever they go, it might be time to question why that is and whether they’re as trustworthy as you thought.
14) They often lie about small things
Trust is built on honesty. It seems straightforward, but it’s surprising how often this simple truth is overlooked.
If someone frequently lies about small, seemingly insignificant things, it might be a sign of bigger honesty issues.
You might brush off these little lies as harmless or inconsequential.
After all, what does it matter if they exaggerated a story or fibbed about their weekend plans? But the reality is, these “white lies” can erode trust over time.
If someone can’t be honest about the small things, how can you trust them with the big things?
Frequent minor deceptions could indicate that they’re comfortable with dishonesty and might not think twice before telling bigger lies when it suits them.
15) They take more than they give
Finally, while a trustworthy person understands the value of balance in relationships, a person with honesty issues might fail to demonstrate this.
If someone perpetually takes more than they give – whether in terms of time, resources or emotional support – it might be indicative of their lack of trustworthiness.
Trust is a multifaceted concept and its formation is not always straightforward. It’s important to remember that people are complex, and so are their behaviors.
The signs mentioned above don’t automatically label someone as untrustworthy, but they do serve as cautionary signals worth noting.
Trust can’t be built overnight. It is a progressive process that develops over time through repeated interactions and experiences. It’s about giving people the opportunity to prove their reliability, but also being aware and cautious of potential signs of deceit.
Trusting someone involves a certain degree of risk, but by being observant and understanding these subtle signs, you can make more informed decisions about who you choose to trust.
At the end of the day, trust your intuition. If something feels off or too good to be true, it might be worth taking a closer look. Trust is an invaluable commodity – be careful who you give it to.
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