If someone displays these 7 behaviors, they’re secretly in love with you

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Ever wonder if someone special is secretly smitten with you? 

The eye contact, the casual touch, the laugh at your not-so-funny jokes. 

It’s easy to misread signs or get caught in the maybes. 

A friend of mine was recently totally surprised by a male friend’s confession — but I totally saw it coming.

How? It’s because I noticed certain behaviors in him around her. 

And maybe one of your friends is showing them too. So, if you’re ready for some love detective work, keep reading!

1) They act differently around you

Before we move forward, there’s one key sign you have to keep in mind as you consider all the rest.

Behavior can be highly subjective, and one person’s “being in love” can be another person’s normal personality.

And that’s why the advice of so many blogs and influencers out there may be well-intended, but highly inaccurate.

Just because someone maintains eye contact, or remembers small details, or things like that, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily in love. 

I know people who do that with everyone, from strangers to family members. It’s pretty safe to say they’re not secretly in love with anyone.

So before you jump to conclusions about any particular behavior in a person, make sure to get context for how they act with others. 

The most telling sign is that they do something differently around you — because you mean something different to them. 

2) They make time for you

Life is busy; we all get that. Jobs, family, other friends — all these things vie for our attention every day. 

But when someone’s genuinely into you, they’ll still make sure to carve out time in their schedule just for you.

You know what I’m talking about. Those late-night chats that stretch into the wee hours of the morning, the spontaneous coffee meetups, or even taking a lunch break at the same time so you can catch up. 

These aren’t just coincidences; these are conscious choices.

That’s something else that my friend’s buddy kept doing. No matter how hectic his day was, he’d always find a way to text or call her. Even if it was just a simple “How was your day?”, he made the effort.

And when the weekends rolled around? You bet he was suggesting plans, whether it was a laid-back movie night or joining a fitness class. It was clear: he was making her a priority.

The lesson here? If someone is consistently making room for you in their life, you’re someone they want to invest time and emotional energy in, because you matter to them. 

3) They notice changes

Have you ever changed something about yourself — a new haircut, a slightly different way of speaking, or even a character trait you’re working on — and wondered if anyone would notice? 

When someone’s secretly smitten with you, they notice these things. And not just the big, obvious changes; they notice the subtle ones, too.

It’s like you’re their favorite book, and they’re always eager for the next chapter. 

One of my close friends was dating this guy who noticed the smallest things about her, and she told me that’s when she knew he was the one. 

You see, when you really care about someone, you become attuned to the tiny details that make them unique. 

You’re not just another face in the crowd to them; you’re the face they’re always looking for. The person they can’t help but notice.

So if you find someone taking note of even the smallest changes in your life, you’ve probably got their heart beating a little faster when you’re around. 

4) They go out of their way to help

It’s one thing to lend a hand when it’s convenient, but when someone’s really into you, they’ll go the extra mile — literally, if needed! 

In fact, my friend’s male friend wanted to do just that for her. She was flying home from a trip, and her flight was pretty late at night.

She had booked the last bus home from the airport, so if she missed it, she would have to take an expensive taxi — or wait until 5am when the buses start going again. 

She mentioned it to her guy friend just in passing, but he immediately offered to go pick her up and drive her home if her flight was late. 

It would have been at least 1.5 hours of his time, late at night.

Sure, there are generous and giving people that may do things like this for their friends. And this guy did fit this description — but still, he seemed to pay extra attention to her needs in particular, and try to do whatever he could to help out. 

It’s like he wanted to be her hero, her go-to person when things got tough. And let’s be real, that’s not just friendship; that’s someone wearing their heart on their sleeve.

5) They give you hints that they find you attractive

Let’s face it, when you’ve got the hots for someone, it’s tough to keep that magnetism under wraps. 

And that’s why people who are secretly in love with you will drop little hints about finding you attractive, even if they don’t come right out and say it.

For example, once my friend was going dancing with a few friends, and her male friend was picking everyone up. 

They had a mixup about the pickup time, so rather than keep everyone waiting an extra half hour, she grabbed her makeup and left her house without any on.

When she told her guy friend about this in the car, he said, “You don’t need any makeup anyways.” 

Alone, this may seem like just a friendly comment. But there were many more similar to that, and he also gave her lingering looks when she dressed up nicely. 

The way these come out depend on a person’s particular personality — some may express it as teasing or playful banter. 

6) Their body language shows it

You know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”? Well, when it comes to love, body language is the megaphone. Sure, words can be deceiving, but it’s a lot harder to fake physical cues — or hide them.

In my friend’s case, I noticed that the guy seemed to smile more around her, and maintain eye contact for longer.

Whenever we arrived at a place where she was supposed to be already, he looked around the room as if he was looking for someone.

And then he kept glancing back to that area throughout the day.

As I mentioned above already, everyone is different and context is crucial. Someone might be all smiles and eye contact with everyone — but this guy was a little more held back, so when his body language was more open with my friend, it was something special. 

Other signs could be more physical contact, standing closer to you, leaning in, facing you fully, or things like touching their hair and adjusting their clothes. 

7) They’re engaged during your time together

You’ve probably been in conversations where you can tell the other person’s mind is a million miles away. Their eyes are glazed over, they’re constantly checking their phone, and their responses are limited to nods and “uh-huhs.” Let’s be honest, that doesn’t feel great.

But when someone’s secretly in love with you? Then, you’ve got their full attention. It’s like the two of you are in your own little world, even if you’re surrounded by a sea of people. 

You see, love has this funny way of tuning out distractions. When this special someone is with you, it’s as if their internal radar is set to “You Mode.” 

They’re listening intently to what you’re saying, responding thoughtfully, and genuinely enjoying the time spent together.

And this was the last clue I saw with my friend and the guy who secretly liked her

With other people, he seemed to get distracted sometimes, but when he hung out with her, it was like the rest of the world faded away. He even seemed annoyed when something interrupted them. 

So, if you ever find yourself with someone who seems utterly fascinated by your every word and gesture, chances are, they’re feeling something deeper

Finding love in surprising places

Life has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it. It’s as thrilling as it is confusing. Yet, as they say, love works in mysterious ways.

What’s beautiful is that love doesn’t announce itself with fireworks or orchestras. Often, it’s in the little things — the small gestures, the lingering eye contact, the extra effort to make your day better — that you find the most genuine expressions of affection. 

It happened to my friend — and maybe, if you look closely, you’ll find someone in your life showing these very signs too. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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