Ava Sinclair
If you see someone laughing, you assume they’re happy. If you see someone frowning, you think they’re upset.
But that’s just scratching the surface of human emotions.
Beneath the facade, things often run much deeper. Many times, people keep their pain hidden, making it harder for us to understand their true feelings.
Some behaviors, however, can serve as secret signals of inner turmoil.
If you notice these 8 specific behaviors in someone, it’s likely they’re secretly hurting on the inside.
Let’s delve deeper and learn how to recognize these often overlooked signs of hidden pain.
1) They’re putting on a brave face
We all do it. Slap on a smile, tell the world we’re okay, even when we’re not.
It’s a universal human trait – we hide our pain. We don’t want to burden others with our troubles, or we fear being perceived as weak.
But if you pay close attention, you can see the cracks in the facade. The slight grimace before the smile, the flash of pain in their eyes.
These are subtle signs that someone is secretly hurting on the inside.
It’s not easy to spot, and it’s even harder to confront.
But if you do notice it, be there for them. Sometimes just knowing that someone cares can make all the difference.
It’s not about prying or forcing them to open up.
It’s about letting them know they’re not alone in their struggle. It’s about empathy and understanding.
And who knows? Maybe your support can help them take off their brave face and start the healing process.
Keep an eye out for those who always seem to be smiling – they might be the ones who need your support the most.
2) They withdraw from social activities
I remember a time when my best friend started to withdraw from our usual hangouts.
At first, I thought he was just busy with work, but then I noticed a pattern.
He would often cancel our plans at the last minute or make excuses to leave early.
He stopped initiating conversations and seemed distant even when we were together.
At first, I took it personally. Was it something I did or said?
But then it hit me – it wasn’t about me at all. He was struggling with something internally, something he wasn’t ready to share.
It’s hard to watch someone you care about pull away, but it’s crucial to remember that this behavior often signifies deeper issues.
They may be secretly hurting and not know how to express it.
Next time you notice someone pulling away, don’t take it personally.
Reach out, offer a listening ear, and perhaps, let them know you’re there when they’re ready to talk.
It might make a world of difference in their journey towards healing.
3) Their sleeping patterns change drastically
Sleep is more than just a time for our body to rest – it’s also a reflection of our mental state.
When someone is hurting inside, their sleep schedule often takes a hit.
They might be staying up late into the night, unable to switch off their racing thoughts.
Or they could be sleeping excessively, using it as an escape from their emotional pain.
In fact, the relationship between sleep and mental health is so intertwined that disruptions in sleep are often one of the first signs of mental disorders, including depression and anxiety.
If you notice a loved one’s sleeping pattern changing significantly, don’t dismiss it as a simple lifestyle change.
It could be a sign they’re secretly hurting on the inside.
And sometimes, just acknowledging their struggle and offering your support can be the first step towards helping them heal.
4) They lose interest in things they once loved
We all have our passions – hobbies, activities, or interests that spark joy and excitement in us.
But when someone is hurting inside, these passions often lose their appeal.
It might be their favorite sport, a cherished hobby, or even an activity they once enjoyed with friends.
They may start to neglect it, or worse, give it up completely.
This sudden loss of interest isn’t due to boredom or a change in taste. Instead, it’s a sign of emotional turmoil brewing beneath the surface.
It’s a cry for help that often goes unnoticed.
If you ever notice someone losing interest in the things they once loved, take it as a sign that something’s not right.
Reach out to them, let them know you’re there to support them, and maybe even try to rekindle their lost passion together.
It might just be the lifeline they need to start healing from their hidden pain.
5) They’re always on the edge
I’ve noticed that when someone is secretly hurting, their emotional resilience tends to take a nosedive.
Things that they’d usually shrug off suddenly become a big deal.
They’re quick to anger, easily frustrated, or overly sensitive.
I remember a friend who used to be the calmest person in our group.
But over time, she started snapping over the smallest things. It was unlike her, and it made me realize something was wrong.
It’s like they’re carrying a heavy emotional load, and even the tiniest added weight can tip the balance.
They’re not just being difficult; they’re struggling with something deeper.
Whenever you notice someone becoming unusually edgy or sensitive, don’t be quick to judge. Instead, show some patience and empathy.
A kind word or a sympathetic ear can go a long way in helping them navigate through their pain.
6) They’re overly cheerful
We often associate pain with sadness, but it’s not always that straightforward.
Sometimes, those who are hurting the most put on an exaggerated display of happiness.
They laugh a little louder, smile a little wider, and always seem to be the life of the party.
It’s like they’re trying to convince not just you, but also themselves, that everything is fine.
This overcompensation is a defense mechanism, an attempt to hide their true feelings.
But it’s exhausting to keep up this performance, and the cracks often show when they’re alone.
If you spot someone constantly in ‘cheerful mode’, take a closer look. They might be masking their pain behind this facade of joy.
Offering them a safe space to be themselves, without the need for pretense, could help them open up about their struggles.
7) They become increasingly self-critical
Self-criticism is a common response to inner pain. Those who are hurting often blame themselves, magnifying their perceived flaws and mistakes.
They may downplay their achievements and dismiss their strengths, focusing only on the negatives.
This harsh self-judgment is more than just low self-esteem. It’s a sign of internal turmoil, a reflection of the hurt they’re feeling inside.
If you see someone being overly critical of themselves, it’s essential not to dismiss it as mere modesty or perfectionism.
Instead, it could be a cry for help, a sign they’re secretly hurting inside.
Offer them words of encouragement and remind them of their worth.
Your support can help them break free from the cycle of self-criticism and start their journey towards healing.
8) They push people away
When someone is hurting, they often build walls around themselves.
They push people away, even those who want to help.
It’s not because they want to be alone, but because they’re afraid of being vulnerable, of letting others see their pain.
This isolation is a defense mechanism, but it only amplifies their suffering. Human connection and emotional support are crucial elements of healing.
If someone pushes you away, don’t take it personally. Instead, show them that you’re there for them, no matter what.
Your unwavering presence can provide the comfort they need to start tearing down their walls and let the healing begin.
Understanding the silent struggle
If you’ve come this far, hopefully, you’ve gained a deeper insight into the subtle signs of someone hurting internally.
It’s not always tears or frowns; sometimes, it’s the overly cheerful laughter or the sudden withdrawal from social life.
Pain doesn’t always look like pain. It can hide behind the brightest smiles and the loudest laughs.
And those who carry it often do so silently, out of fear, shame, or a misguided belief that they’re alone in their struggle.
But they’re not alone. And if you look closely enough, if you care deeply enough, you can be the one to reach out.
You can be the one to offer comfort, to lend an ear, or simply to sit in silence with them.
Because in the end, it’s not just about recognizing these signs – it’s about what we do once we see them.
It’s about empathy and kindness, patience and understanding.
Let’s strive to be more observant, more understanding.
Let’s strive to be there for those who need us, even when they don’t say it.
And remember, everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
