If someone displays these 11 behaviors, they’re envious of your success

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Envy is the emotion of the insecure, resentful and miserable. 

We’ve all felt it at times, but life is a process of leaving jealousy and envy behind and focusing on our own dreams. 

If you’ve made progress and started to really find your footing, it’s easy to forget how many other people haven’t done that. 

Unfortunately, many people who eye your progress aren’t going to give you a high five or shake your hand.

They’re going to feel envy and believe that you don’t deserve to be experiencing success. 

Envy isn’t always obvious, but there are some telltale signs you can look for that show when somebody’s envious of your success. 

1) They’re only friends with you when they’re on top

One of the subtle behaviors of envious people is that they support and back you, but only when they’re on top. 

For as long as they’re doing better than you, they’re as pleasant as sunshine to be around. 

But if you start to achieve more success or they fall on hard times, suddenly they’re nowhere to be found. 

Your calls go unanswered and they seem to be ignoring you. 

The sad truth is they were only friends with you or kind to you when they were able to see you as lesser than them. 

This brings up the next point… 

2) They are competing with you all the time

The envious individual is driven to compete with you all the time. 

They’re fine with you when they feel sure they’re “winning,” but they compete hard if they feel their “edge” slipping with you in any way. 

Don’t get me wrong:

Healthy competition can lead to growth and innovation and I frankly consider it a good thing. 

But when it reaches the point that somebody seems unable to live with anything you do that surpasses them, it’s reached a toxic level.

For example, the envious person may see you just put a downpayment on a house and feel driven to get their own slightly bigger, slightly better house a week later. 

3) They try to copy your path to success 

Imitating somebody you look up to or who succeeded in a way you admire is a great idea. 

Talking to folks I admire is a big part of how I began building a career in writing and journalism. 

But when somebody’s not even in your industry or a similar field and they randomly try to interject themselves and outdo you on your home turf, for example, it’s a big warning sign. 

This is an envious person who’s trying to copy your path to success in a robotic, egotistical way that’s just designed to say “I’m better than you.” 

4) They boast about their accomplishments (or those of people they know) to put you down

Insecure and jealous people tend to brag. 

If they’re bragging in a way that seems designed to put you down or overshadow you, chances are that’s exactly what they’re doing. 

For example, if you work in academia and have just published a groundbreaking thesis, they may mention that their cousin was internationally recognized for her thesis last month in a similar field.

The subject of your thesis is actually kind of old news, they may inform you, since their cousin actually talked about the new way of looking at the subject that “everybody” is talking about now.

5) They try to “out-victim” you

When any hardships you’ve been through come up or the difficulty in your success comes up, does somebody in your life downplay it or try to compete?

This is a classic sign of envy. 

Nothing you’ve been through was really that bad according to them, and plus they’ve been through much more. 

You’re just an amateur in the suffering game, according to them. 

The result? Whatever you accomplish didn’t take much to get to anyway, since they’ve (purportedly) been through so much more than you. 

6) They often make negative comments about you

People criticize others for all sorts of reasons. 

For example, I find that many critical parents do so out of fear for their children’s future or a desire to ensure their kids are making good choices. 

But by and large, criticism comes out of fear and a desire to control. 

If somebody is criticizing you a lot and making negative comments about you, it’s usually that they’re envious of the success you’re having.

They may also feel a need to control your decisions or try to influence your thinking around your goals and life.

7) They cast doubt on your integrity and merits 

Another of the disturbing signs that somebody is envious of your success is that they cast doubt on your integrity. 

They chalk up your success to nepotism or help from family connections…

They imply that your handsome and smart boyfriend only fell for you because of your looks…

They say that you’re making a lot of money because you must be cutting corners or dishonest in some way… 

8) They’re patronizing to you and ignore what you say

When somebody is patronizing to you, it’s a definite sign that they don’t really respect you and are probably envious of you, too. 

You can also get a sense of this by noticing whether somebody listens to you or not. 

A dismissive attitude coupled with patronizing behavior is a sign of lack of empathy or respect for you. 

If it’s combined with a turn in your favor with your work or personal life, it’s usually linked to jealousy and envy as well. 

This ties into your next point…

9) They have schadenfreude about your setbacks 

Schadenfreude is a word from German meaning feeling joy over somebody else’s setbacks. 

When somebody is envious they often have schadenfreude. 

How would you know, though? That’s a good question. 

Many people are good at hiding their schadenfreude and would never let you see them smirk or laugh a bit when you experience a hardship or they get news of your bad news. 

But if you experience a definite lack of compassion and empathy from this person there’s a good chance they’re either indifferent or full of schadenfreude about you.

Which brings me to the next point…

10) They act like your achievements deprive them of opportunity

Life is not a zero-sum game. 

You can win, and so can the person next to you. 

In fact many of the wealthiest and most successful people I know got there by marketing and fostering win-win connections.

They didn’t seek to destroy and parasite off other companies or industries, but instead to innovate and form connections that would be beneficial to multiple parties. 

But when somebody’s envious of you, they’re stuck in the dog-eat-dog mentality

They act like the fact that you’re making it is preventing them from having a chance. They act like

11) They look for ways to sabotage your success 

If envy was just negative emotions and judgment coming your way, it would be easy to ignore. 

But let’s face it:

All too often the envious individual will actually try to sabotage your work or life

If it’s a coworker this can include taking files from you, setting you up for an embarrassing situation or talking trash behind your back to your boss…

If it’s your personal life it an include spreading rumors or starting fights with you over nothing…

Envious people spread their misery to others all too often, which is why it’s important to ensure they don’t sting you with their poison.

Limit your interaction with the envious person and try your best to avoid them. 

If that’s not possible, you can also avoid giving them material to work with and learn to drink haterade… 

Drinking haterade

If you’re noticing a lot of the signs above, there are two courses of action I recommend. 

Firstly, limit how much you talk about or publicize your accomplishments and highlights of your life. 

If you like to share amazing moments and successes on your social media, for example, and don’t want to stop because of envy, just limit the audience of who can view your stories and posts. 

The second piece of advice I have is to start drinking haterade: it doesn’t have electrolytes, but it’s still good for you.

A certain amount of jealousy is going to come your way when you succeed and score big wins in life. 

Get used to it, use it for energy, drink it in and use it as fuel. 

You don’t need to be liked or appreciated by everyone in order to continue the path of success you’re on:

Only you know everything you did to get where you are and the hardships you went through, and those who choose to judge or dismiss that are limited by their own small-mindedness which isn’t your problem.

If you want to become likable, start using these 12 words more often

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