There’s a stark difference between someone who uplifts you and someone who exhausts you.
The difference boils down to behavior. A draining person tends to sap your energy, leaving you feeling tired and defeated, often without even realizing it.
Spotting these energy vampires, however, isn’t always straightforward. They don’t always come with visible warning signs.
But don’t worry! I’ve got your back. Here are 7 tell-tale behaviors to look out for that suggest someone might be draining to be around.
Now, let’s dive in and shed some light on these energy sappers, shall we?
1) They’re constantly negative
Do you know that one person who always sees the glass as half-empty? The one who, no matter what happens, always finds a way to spin it in a negative light?
Yep, that’s them. The draining ones.
Negativity is like a black hole. It sucks the energy out of everything around it. And when someone is constantly negative, they’re dragging you down into that hole with them.
This isn’t to say people can’t have bad days or go through tough times. We all do. But constant negativity is something else entirely. It’s a consistent drain on your energy, leaving you feeling worn out and, well, drained.
So, if you find yourself feeling consistently low after being around someone, their relentless negativity could be the culprit.
It’s okay to protect your energy. Sometimes, that might mean stepping away from the negativity vortex.
2) They’re excessively needy
Ever had a friend who constantly demands your attention? Let me tell you about a former friend of mine.
This friend, let’s call him John, would call me at all hours, asking for advice on the smallest of issues. John needed constant reassurance and validation. He even expected me to drop everything for him at a moment’s notice.
At first, I thought I was just being a good friend, helping him out during a tough time. But as months turned into years, I started to feel exhausted. It was like John had attached a vacuum to my energy reserves and left it running.
That’s when I realized, John wasn’t just in need of help. He was excessively needy. His constant demand for attention was draining my energy.
Being there for your friends is important, but there should be a balance. If someone is continually needing your emotional support without giving anything back, they might be draining your energy. It’s essential to recognize this behavior and set healthy boundaries where necessary.
3) They’re chronic complainers
We all know someone who seems to have a permanent cloud of complaints hanging over their head. No matter what the situation, they always find something to whine about.
Complaining might seem like a harmless venting mechanism, but it’s more harmful than you might think. According to research conducted by Stanford University, listening to someone else’s complaints for 30 minutes or more can physically damage your brain. It can impair cognitive function and kill neurons in the hippocampus, a part of the brain responsible for problem-solving and intelligent thought.
Are you constantly exposed to someone’s complaint? If that’s the case, you’re not just being emotionally drained – you’re potentially damaging your brain health. Recognizing this behavior is crucial for your well-being, and distancing yourself can be a wise choice.
4) They never reciprocate
Relationships, whether they are friendships, romantic partnerships, or family ties, are built on a foundation of give and take. It’s about reciprocity and mutual respect.
But what happens when you find yourself always being the one who gives? You’re always the listener, the problem-solver, the shoulder to cry on, but when you need support, they’re nowhere to be found.
This lack of reciprocation is a clear sign of a draining person. They take your time, energy, and resources without ever giving back. It leaves you feeling used and emotionally exhausted.
If you notice a pattern of one-sidedness in your relationship with someone, it might be time to re-evaluate. Healthy relationships are a two-way street. Don’t let yourself be drained by someone who doesn’t understand that.
5) They always play the victim
I once knew someone who was a master at playing the victim. No matter what the situation was, they somehow always ended up being the one wronged, the one hurt, the innocent party. What I initially believed to be just a string of bad luck turned out to be a pattern.
This person never took responsibility for their actions or how they contributed to a situation. Instead, they reveled in their self-proclaimed victimhood, often using it as an excuse for their behavior or to gain sympathy.
This constant victim mentality was exhausting. It felt like I was perpetually walking on eggshells, trying not to upset them or add to their long list of perceived wrongs. Eventually, I had to step back and distance myself from their draining energy.
When someone constantly plays the victim, it can be a sign they’re draining to be around.
6) They’re overly critical
Constructive criticism can be a powerful tool for growth. But there’s a fine line between helpful feedback and constant, unrelenting criticism.
If someone is always pointing out your flaws, highlighting your mistakes, or belittling your achievements, they’re likely draining your energy. This kind of behavior can chip away at your self-esteem and leave you feeling inadequate and drained.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who lift you, not tear you down.
7) They’re emotionally unavailable
Emotionally unavailable people are often the most draining to be around. They keep their feelings locked away, making it impossible to forge a deep, meaningful connection with them.
At the same time, they may demand your emotional openness and support, creating a one-sided dynamic that leaves you feeling empty and exhausted.
In any relationship, emotional availability should be a two-way street. If someone consistently shuts down or avoids expressing their emotions while expecting you to be an open book, it’s a clear sign they’re draining your energy.
Final thoughts
The intricacies of human behavior and our emotional responses are often tied to the energy we receive from those around us.
We are all interconnected in this web of energy. Our emotions, our moods, and even our health can be influenced by the energy we absorb from others.
If you’re consistently feeling drained after being around someone, it’s not just a fleeting feeling. It’s a signal from your instinctual self, urging you to protect your energy.
It’s not always about labeling people as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It’s about recognizing what serves you and what doesn’t. What uplifts you and what drains you?
It’s about understanding that it’s okay to put your emotional health first. It’s okay to distance yourself from draining individuals. It’s okay to say no.
So, as you navigate through life, keep this in mind: Your energy is precious. You have every right to protect it.
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