If someone displays these 15 behaviors, they secretly dislike you

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We live in a world of likes and smiling social media selfies. 

Everything is about “liking” something, someone, some business or some product. 

This also crosses over into increasingly superficial in-person interactions, where pretending to like someone is often easier than conflict or being open about having an issue with them. 

If you’re wondering whether somebody in your orbit secretly dislikes you, there are some telltale signs. 

Whether it’s your job, friend network or anyone else you’re trying to get a read on, watch for the following: 

1) They avoid you

This is clearly the first behavior to watch for.

There are many legitimate reasons for somebody to be unavailable when you’re around, cancel appointments or not talk much to you. 

But if you start to get the feeling they’re actively avoiding you, it’s often because they are doing exactly that. 

When somebody avoids you, don’t pay attention to their polite texts or their friends saying they’re sorry they couldn’t make it. 

There’s a good chance they secretly dislike you or at least have some kind of underlying issue with you. 

2) They leave you on read

The next sign somebody secretly dislikes you is the digital equivalent of the previous point:

They leave you on read. 

When you message them they read it but then don’t answer.

Or, even worse, they leave it unread for days or even weeks before offering a generic response. 

At the very least it means this person doesn’t much want to talk to you. And in some cases, it means they have a specific beef with you or dislike you.

3) They talk behind your back

This indication is something you may not find out for quite a while. 

A friend or mutual acquaintance usually has to tell you, or the gossip or bad words of somebody has to reach their way back to you. 

When somebody talks in a less than positive way behind your back it’s a classic sign that they’re not a fan. 

They may smile to your face and give you a thumbs up, but when you’re not around they mock you or talk about their negative impression of you. 

4) They display closed body language around you

When you are around somebody, how is their body language

Open body language is essentially what it sounds like:

Feet facing you, looking you in the eye, hands visible and body aligned in your direction. 

Closed body language is the opposite: standing tilted away from you, generally not meeting your gaze (or giving you the stink eye: see point 6). 

Closed body language also includes crossing the arms, poor posture and standing far away from you in distance as if just waiting to get away.

5) They avoid eye contact around you 

This relates to the previous situation of closed body language.

Somebody who doesn’t like you but is trying to be discreet about it will often avoid eye contact

They may just be preoccupied, busy or not very fond of making eye contact. 

But if it starts to become something you notice with an individual where they’re making eye contact with others but just not with you, then they probably aren’t a big fan. 

There are exceptions, of course, and some folks are better at faking it than others. 

But usually, dislike is going to show at the edges in one way or another. 

The next variation brings me to point 6…

6) They give you the stink eye 

Call it the evil eye, stink eye, a look that could kill…

We all know it when we see it, the kind of look, that you wonder what you did wrong or whether this person looks at everybody that way. 

Maybe they do look at everybody that way, and I’ve even met very friendly folks whose default mode is a death stare.

But generally speaking, if somebody’s looking at you with a very glaring and unpleasant glint in their eye, it’s because they do not like you (even if they aren’t going to verbalize their dislike).

7) They scowl or frown at you 

If somebody scowls or frowns at you, it’s often a sign they’re not very into you. 

Sometimes they’re stressed, having a bad day or just a generally kind of grouchy person. 

But again it’s important to look at whether they’re doing this to most people or just you. 

That will help you sort their behavior in general from their potential specific dislike of you. 

8) They fake smile and butter you up

On the flip side we get the fake smile and being overly nice to you

If this is happening it is usually a sign of a salesperson or somebody who’s trying to get something from you in some way. 

When it’s not about getting something from you, it’s often a false front of somebody who is either neutral about you or secretly not very fond of you.

This brings up the next telltale sign…

9) They contribute little or nothing to conversations

Apathy is often a sign of somebody who’s not all that into you and finds you unlikeable on some level. 

When you’re talking to somebody or sharing parts of your experience and they say almost nothing, it’s often an indication they don’t like you much. 

Granted, they may also find what you’re talking about boring, but if it was just that and they liked you, they’d be likely to at least introduce a topic of their own or speak about what they’re interested in. 

As Finn Robinson writes:

“Instead of asking questions about whatever it is you’re talking about, they’ll offer glib, empty responses like, ‘Cool,’ or ‘Yeah, man.’”

Translation: leave me alone. 

10) They try to duck out of any conversations ASAP

When you’re talking to somebody and they need to go or have a pressing engagement, fair enough!

It’s happened to all of us, even in the middle of an absorbing chat. 

But a subtle sign that somebody secretly dislikes you is that they try to duck out of conversations for no discernible reasons. 

They’re simply not too into talking and may even make no excuse but simply nod and smile their way out. 

11) They don’t include you in group plans 

There’s nothing like the feeling of being overlooked and excluded.

It hurts badly and makes you feel unneeded and invisible. 

When somebody leaves you out or overlooks you in something they easily could have included you in, it’s often far more than absentmindedness. 

It’s excluding you because they don’t like you, or at least don’t particularly enjoy your company. 

12) They ignore your concerns or needs that you express

If somebody cares for you, they care about your needs and desires. 

When somebody you know doesn’t really care what you want or need, they are either a big-time egotist or don’t like you much. 

It’s often both, to be fair. 

There’s never a guarantee that somebody’s going to care about issues you’re having or what you want, but the least they can do is care and take an interest. 

13) They typecast you or stereotype you in an unfair (but officially acceptable) way

Another clue that somebody secretly has less than affection for you is that they typecast you in a cartoonish way. 

“Well hello there, if it isn’t Donna the star accountant!”

“Hey, I’m not going to compete with you in the field of big-shot lawyers, man. You got that base covered.”

There’s usually some snark buried in here if you listen closely; you’re reduced down to your job and flattered but in an over-the-top and subtly mocking way.

14) They never do anything generous or kind for you 

If somebody likes you, they’ll usually do a few kind things for you. 

It might just be letting you know about a great restaurant they went to or giving you advice when you ask what gym to go to. 

But at least it will show a basic amount of thought for your well-being. 

When somebody doesn’t like you, they never do anything generous or kind for you. 

In fact, going by their behavior, you might as well not exist… 

15) They seem unsympathetic and even low-key glad about your issues

The German word schadenfreude means to feel joy about the misfortune of others. 

It’s very much a real thing, even if many of us would prefer to say it’s not. 

One of the signs that somebody secretly doesn’t like you is that they seem subtly relieved or even smirking about your issues and misfortune. 

Outwardly, they may express all sorts of concern and sympathy. 

But looking below the surface, you notice a real lack of actual concern or empathy.

This is perhaps the worst of the signs that somebody secretly dislikes you, especially since it can be such a disappointment in someone you thought did care about you. 

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