Paul Brian
It’s good to stand up for yourself and know your worth.
But let’s face it:
Some people take it way past that and act like arrogant, self-obsessed jerks. They let their ego take over and end up running into problems everywhere they go.
There’s always a justification from such people, of course.
But if you know what to look for you’ll see the following behavior show up in people with an ego problem. They can have all the justifications and excuses they want for this behavior, but actions do speak louder than words.
Here are the telltale signs that somebody’s got an ego problem.
1) They insist they’re always right
The egotist has a big issue with being wrong.
They usually have some inner insecurity that dogs them, and admitting being incorrect reopens the wound.
For that reason, the big ego individual doesn’t admit when they’re wrong, even when they know they are.
It may seem childish and unnecessary, but even small mistakes seem impossible for these people to own up to.
This ties into the next point…
2) They dismiss the knowledge of others
Arrogant people who can’t admit they’re wrong are also very competitive about everything.
Hearing somebody else who knows more than them about any subject is very hard for them to accept.
This is the type of person where you see somebody simply giving them advice about how to do something and they bristle or say “I know what I’m doing.”
Even when they clearly don’t know what they’re doing, people eventually get tired of this kind of person because they’re so opposed to hearing any instructions or criticism about what they’re doing.
3) They don’t accept any criticism
Criticism can actually be helpful, especially if it’s useful feedback.
But the person with an ego problem doesn’t accept criticism.
He or she will always lash out and take even the smallest critique as a personal insult.
Even their partner mentioning that they’ve been getting up late and suggesting a sleep aid to get to sleep earlier will result in a backlash.
It’s like they just can’t deal with the fact that they’re not perfect.
4) They don’t learn from their mistakes
We all make mistakes, it’s just part of life.
Even the most skilled and competent person makes the occasional judgment call that’s wrong or responds to a spontaneous event in the wrong way.
When that happens it’s not always your fault, but you try to learn from it.
Those with an ego problem don’t learn at all.
They’ll even repeat the same mistake on purpose to prove that what they did was correct even when it wasn’t.
It’s amazing to see if you haven’t, but once you’ve seen it you realize that some people will go to any lengths to protect their ego.
5) They demand praise and validation
The egotist demands constant praise and validation.
They’ll steer almost any situation to focus on them and find a way to make them out to be the one who saves the day.
Even small matters become all about giving them praise and attention.
No opportunity is passed up to get compliments, accolades, awards and praise from other people.
At work, at home and everywhere in between this kind of person is out there making everything about them.
6) They lack humility and ignore advice
Even good advice gets ignored by the egotist.
It could be perfectly well-intentioned or meant in a helpful way, but the egotist will reject the advice and ignore it.
This goes back to the difficulty with admitting being wrong or accepting any kind of correction.
The egotist will even do a job wrong or continue approaching something in a less-than-efficient way instead of just accepting advice from somebody who knows more than them.
7) They demand that others change
The egotist isn’t willing to change or even accept correction in almost anything.
But that doesn’t go both ways.
They constantly demand that others change and satisfy their expectations.
The egotist often has narcissistic tendencies and believes the world revolves around them.
If they find the behavior of others annoying or insufficient, they will be quite demanding that folks change themselves to fit the picture of what they prefer.
8) They will manipulate to get their way
The egotist will manipulate and wheedle to get their way.
There’s almost no limit.
If you see somebody who twists and turns words and situations to get their way, it’s not always that they’re just clever.
Sometimes they’re just a skilled wheeler-dealer.
But if you notice a high level of cynicism combined with constant and deceptive manipulativeness, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with somebody egotistical.
It’s sad to see, but some folks have such a big ego that they believe anything they do is justified, including taking advantage of other people and lying to them.
9) They are hyper-competitive
If you notice people who are hyper-competitive, it’s not always a natural instinct.
There’s a place for being competitive and humanity has grown a lot from healthy competition.
But there’s also a point at which it becomes toxic overkill and classic egotism.
If somebody is hyper-competitive to the point that they lose all sense of decency and scale when they’re competing, chances are they have a serious ego problem.
10) They rub a win in the loser’s face
The egotist loves to win but that’s not good enough for them.
When they do win any kind of competition they will rub it in the loser’s face.
Even if it’s just a rivalry at work or some kind of sports match, they will make endless jokes and comments about winning if they do.
It could be online gaming or anything else:
The egotistical winner won’t let it go that they bested somebody else and won.
They’ll joke and laugh and comment and do it in front of other people if possible.
11) They are sore losers
When they do lose, the egotist gets super angry.
He or she just can’t deal with the disappointment of a loss, even when it’s fair and square.
The idea that they were fairly bested in any competition is excruciating.
That’s because of what I got at earlier:
There’s this inner insecurity that tends to plague an egotist, convincing them that they’re not really “good enough” at some deep level.
12) They play the victim when the odds are against them
The egotist will be the biggest victim you’ve ever seen if it comes down to it.
When they’ve played out all the cards they have and the last one left is the victim card is the last one they have, they will absolutely play it.
“Why doesn’t anyone give me the credit I deserve?”
“Why are people always picking on me?”
That inner victim and inner insecurity comes out as an aggressive complainer when the egotist is truly backed into a corner.
But the basic message is always the same: I’m justified, I’m the one who really should be respected, I’m the hero of this story.
