Adrian Volenik
No one’s born classy. Yet, some of us grow up into super sophisticated people capable of navigating black-tie dinners, while others scratch their bottom while eating a Big Mac.
It’s obvious that the way our parents brought us up plays a crucial role in all of this. But even if they did a sloppy job, you can still learn a thing or two from the Clooneys and Obamas of this world.
But let’s just focus for now on the behaviors that show someone lacks class and sophistication.
1) Being a show-off
Confidence is cool, but constantly parading achievements, possessions, or talents becomes less about sharing and more about seeking validation. No one likes a show-off, all right?
When someone’s a bit less sophisticated, it’s like they’re in a competition with everyone around them, and it gets old real quick.
But what else does it show us? By boasting all the time, they’re proving how self-centered they are, and, believe me, this attitude lifts its ugly head in many other aspects of their lives.
Sophistication and class are the least of their problems.
2) Interrupting constantly
When someone’s self-centered, of course, they think that every conversation needs to revolve around them.
Picture this: you’re trying to share a story or express an idea, and they’re like a human bulldozer, cutting you off mid-sentence.
They won’t let you finish but also need to devalue many things you’re saying.
This, first and foremost, shows a lack of respect for the person they’re talking to. It also shows that they don’t care for others or their problems.
What they do care for is making fun of others and talking behind their backs, though.
3) Gossiping too much
Nothing says lack of class, like gossiping about others. Spreading rumors or talking behind people’s backs is more than a breach of trust. It’s also a sign of emotional immaturity.
Healthy relationships prosper on trust and open communication, not on the shaky ground of gossip.
Many people’s lives and reputations are ruined by spreading rumors about them because one involved in gossiping spends a second of their time considering their perspective or feelings.
Classy people keep things positive, respect others’ privacy, and avoid unnecessary drama.
4) Lack of basic manners
Another thing that’s quintessential for sophisticated people is having basic manners. And not just saying “please” and “thank you.”
But holding doors for others, covering your mouth when you cough, and not talking with your mouth full.
The basics of politeness seem to be lost on those who lack class, and it’s noticeable. In fact, it might just be the first thing you notice about someone.
And if the first impression is that bad, there’s often no coming back from that one. You’ll always see them as tacky.
5) Poor table manners
There’s the lack of basic manners, and then there are the poor table manners. Although they overlap, poor table manners are worth mentioning separately because they just scream unrefined and uncultured.
Think of a dinner date where the person across from you chews loudly, talks with their mouth full, or slurps their soup.
It’s like a symphony of unpleasant sounds, making the dining experience more cringe-worthy than enjoyable.
Now, I’m no Idris Elba, but sitting across someone who’s eating like it’s their last meal on Earth is indigestible to me.
6) Being rude to service staff
The way someone treats service staff says volumes about their character. If they’re dismissive, condescending, or outright rude to waiters, clerks, or janitors, it reveals a lack of empathy and respect for others.
They see people who are in the service industry as lesser than them for some reason. And it’s not the wealthy people who act like that.
Oh, no. Many blue-collar people show a lack of respect and no class by being rude to others. This just reinforces the stereotype that you have to be well-off to be sophisticated.
7) Overindulging in alcohol
Sure, enjoying a drink or two is fine, but when every get-together involves getting excessively drunk, that’s a bit much.
It not only raises questions about self-control but also impacts the quality of exchanges.
If you’re not careful, drinking too much will make you slur your words, make you talk gibberish, and you’ll bore people by telling them the same story over and over again.
Does that sound classy?
No, not at all. And for many, alcohol will make them ignore other people’s boundaries.
8) Ignoring boundaries
Personal space is a sacred thing. Invading it without invitation is like trampling on someone’s comfort zone.
Whether it’s standing too close or touching without permission, it’s a blatant disregard for boundaries.
But ignoring boundaries also means prying into personal matters, and being nosy doesn’t signal sophistication, does it?
If anything, being classy means you’re stoic and wait for others to open up before you start asking more personal questions.
But, all in all, encroaching on other people’s space is a clear sign of a lack of class.
9) Not being punctual
Time is a currency, and being consistently late is essentially saying, “My time is more valuable than yours.”
It’s simply a disregard for other people’s schedules and creates unnecessary stress in both personal and professional relationships.
When we talk about class and sophistication, in many cases, it just boils down to respect for other people.
If you respect others, you treat them as you’d like to be treated. Which brings us to the following:
10) Constantly checking their phone
In the age of smartphones, being glued to the screen instead of engaging in real-time conversations is a modern-day social challenge.
We’re all addicted to the digital world, all right? That means that on many occasions, we’re missing out on the richness of the present moment.
Additionally, classy people know that you shouldn’t check your phone all the time because it shows a lack of class for the following reasons:
- No interest in the people or activities around you
- Disrespect
- Discomfort with face-to-face interactions
- Rudeness
- Lack of etiquette
11) Ignoring social cues
Conversations are a delicate dance of verbal and non-verbal cues. When someone consistently misses those cues, they’re trying to navigate a complex social terrain blindfolded.
People who lack class are outright bad at this. They, for example, ignore the overall context of a social situation, make inappropriate jokes during a serious discussion, or talk loudly when they shouldn’t.
This means that many interactions they’re in will be shrouded in awkwardness and disbelief from others that someone can act like this.
12) Not taking responsibility
I could go on and on, but I’ll end this article with not taking responsibility. Owning up to mistakes and learning from them is an indicator of maturity.
Constantly deflecting blame instead of owning your faults is terrible for those around you, but ultimately, for you too, right?
Some people just think they never do anything wrong. Others simply don’t want to admit they mess up just like other people.
Whatever the reason, not taking responsibility for your actions and choices is never a good thing and something most classy and sophisticated people would never do.
Final thoughts
In the end, anyone can become classy. With willingness and practice, you can transform your persona into something completely different.
But should you really? If you’re only doing it for clout or social media, you’re better of staying the down-to-earth person you are now.
But if you think it can bring you more opportunities in life and you genuinely believe in refinement and what it entails, then go for it.
