If someone displays these 11 behaviors, they lack emotional intelligence

You’ve probably heard about emotional intelligence, right?

It’s all about understanding our feelings and the feelings of others.

But what happens when someone doesn’t quite have this down?

Believe it or not, there are some tell-tale signs that can show us when someone is struggling with emotional intelligence.

Let’s talk about these 11 behaviors that can indicate a lack of emotional intelligence.

1. They Have Poor Listening Skills

One of the first signs of someone lacking emotional intelligence is poor listening skills.

We’ve all met those people who seem more interested in waiting for their turn to talk rather than actually hearing what you’re saying, right?

Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, really listen when you talk.

They’re not just hearing the words; they’re also paying attention to your tone, your body language, and what’s not being said. They understand that communication is about more than just words.

If someone is always interrupting or seems distracted while you’re speaking, they might be lacking in the emotional intelligence department.

But remember – listening is a skill that can be improved with practice!

2. They Struggle with Empathy

Ever tried to share a problem with someone and instead of understanding, they just brushed it off or changed the subject? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

This lack of empathy or understanding is another sign that someone might be lacking emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence can easily put themselves in other people’s shoes.

They understand others’ feelings and respond to them appropriately.

But if someone struggles to show empathy, they might be having a hard time connecting with their own emotions or those of others.

Empathy is something that can be learned and developed, so don’t lose hope if you or someone you know struggles with this. It’s never too late to learn!

3. They Don’t Handle Criticism Well

I remember once sharing some constructive feedback with a colleague.

Instead of taking on board what I had said, they immediately became defensive and started making excuses.

They even tried to turn the tables and criticize me instead!

Having seen this firsthand, I can tell you that not handling criticism well is a big sign of low emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence view criticism as a chance to learn and grow. They know nobody’s perfect and are open to feedback.

If you know someone who gets upset or defensive when faced with criticism, they might be lacking emotional intelligence.

But don’t worry, learning to accept and use criticism constructively is something that can be worked on over time.

4. They Have Trouble Expressing Their Feelings

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle to put their feelings into words. They might feel upset or angry but can’t explain why.

This can make it hard for them to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts.

If someone often says they don’t know how they feel or they can’t explain why they’re upset, it could be a sign that they’re lacking emotional intelligence.

But just like all the other points, expressing feelings is something that can be learned and improved over time.

5. They Struggle to Form Strong Relationships

There’s something absolutely beautiful about forming deep, meaningful connections with others – it’s like understanding and being understood on a whole new level.

But for some people, this can be a real uphill battle.

People lacking emotional intelligence often struggle to form and maintain strong relationships.

They might have difficulty understanding others’ emotions or expressing their own, which can lead to miscommunication and conflict.

If you notice someone in your life having a hard time connecting deeply with others, they could be lacking emotional intelligence.

But don’t worry, the ability to form strong relationships can be developed with understanding, patience, and practice.

After all, we are all works in progress!

6. They Often Misinterpret Others’ Emotions

I once had a friend who always seemed to misunderstand what others were feeling.

If someone was quiet, she assumed they were upset with her. If someone was excited, she thought they were being sarcastic.

It was like she was always reading from an entirely different emotional playbook.

This misinterpretation of others’ emotions is a common sign of low emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence are usually good at picking up on subtle cues that indicate how someone is feeling.

But if someone consistently misreads these signals, they might be struggling with their emotional intelligence.

Learning to understand others’ emotions can take time and a lot of patience. It’s all part of the journey. 

7. They Struggle with Change

Change can be tough. It can shake up our world and make us feel like we’re walking on shaky ground.

But for some people, it’s more than just a little uncomfortable – it’s downright terrifying.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle big time when it comes to change.

Whether it’s a slight change in plans or a significant life shift, they may react with intense anxiety or even anger.

It’s like they’re clinging onto what they know because diving into the unknown seems too overwhelming.

If you know someone who reacts this way to change, they might be lacking emotional intelligence.

But remember – dealing with change is something that can be improved over time. It’s all about learning to ride the waves instead of fighting against them.

8. They Lack Self-Awareness

People with low emotional intelligence often lack self-awareness. They might not understand why they react certain ways or how their actions affect others.

It’s like they’re living in their own world without realizing that their words and actions have consequences.

If someone you know often seems oblivious to how they come across to others, they might be lacking emotional intelligence.

But don’t worry – just like all the other points, self-awareness is a skill that can be developed with practice and reflection.

9. They’re Not Very Good at Handling Stress

I remember my college roommate who would stress out over every little thing.

A minor change in plans, a small setback in her studies, you name it – she would lose sleep over it, literally. It was clear she had a hard time managing stress.

This inability to handle stress effectively is another sign of low emotional intelligence.

Those with high emotional intelligence have various strategies to cope with stress and are able to bounce back from challenging situations more easily.

If someone seems to be constantly overwhelmed or stressed even with minor issues, they might be struggling with their emotional intelligence.

But the good news is – stress management is a skill that can be learned and honed over time!

10. They’re Quick to Anger

We all lose our cool sometimes. But there’s a difference between occasionally getting angry and constantly flying off the handle at the smallest things.

People with low emotional intelligence are often quick to anger. It’s like they’re a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

They may have difficulty controlling their emotions, leading to outbursts that can be harmful to themselves and others.

If someone you know has a short fuse and seems to constantly be in fight mode, they might be lacking emotional intelligence.

But remember – learning to control anger is a journey that takes time and patience.

11. They Rarely Apologize

Apologizing when you’re wrong is hard. It takes humility and courage. But for some people, saying “I’m sorry” seems nearly impossible.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle to apologize. It’s like admitting they’re wrong is the hardest thing in the world for them.

But not being able to apologize can damage relationships and create a lot of unnecessary conflict.

If someone rarely apologizes even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they could be lacking emotional intelligence.

But don’t lose hope – learning to apologize sincerely is a skill that can be developed with time and understanding.

And there you have it – 11 behaviors that can indicate a lack of emotional intelligence. Remember, we all have areas we need to work on, and it’s never too late to improve!

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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