Isabella Chase
Trust is a delicate thing, often hard to gain and easy to lose. It’s also not always easy to tell when someone doesn’t trust you – they might not be upfront about their suspicions.
But usually, there are subtle behaviors that give them away. These small signs can reveal their hidden feelings, even if they’re trying to keep them under wraps.
In this piece, I’m going to share 8 subtle indicators that someone may not trust you as much as you think. It’s about reading between the lines and picking up on the tiny details that most people overlook.
So stick around if you’re ready for some insight into the silent language of distrust.
1) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact plays a crucial role in building trust and connection. It’s a universal sign of openness and honesty.
But when someone doesn’t trust you, they may find it hard to maintain eye contact. Their gaze might frequently wander, or they might purposely avoid looking at you altogether.
This subtle behavior can reveal their underlying suspicions. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but it’s a sign that they are uncomfortable and unsure in your presence.
However, remember that avoiding eye contact can also be a cultural or personal trait. So don’t jump to conclusions based solely on this one behavior. It’s just one piece of the puzzle that can hint at their hidden feelings of distrust.
2) They’re hesitant to share personal details
Have you ever noticed how we tend to open up more to people we trust? Sharing personal information is a form of vulnerability, and we usually reserve it for those we feel comfortable with.
I remember a time when I was trying to get to know a new coworker. I’d ask about her weekend plans or her favorite movies, and she’d always give me vague responses. It was clear she didn’t feel comfortable sharing those details with me.
Later, I found out she had been burned in the past by coworkers who had used her personal information against her. She was hesitant to open up again, and that lack of trust showed in her reluctance to share.
If someone is consistently vague or elusive about their personal life, it could be a sign they’re not quite ready to trust you. Just like my coworker, they may have reasons behind their reticence. And while it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, it’s worth noting as a possible sign of hidden distrust.
3) They mimic your behavior
Mimicry, the act of copying someone’s movements or behaviors, is a fascinating aspect of human interaction. It often happens subconsciously in conversations as a way to build rapport and show empathy.
However, when someone doesn’t trust you, this mimicry can take on a different form. Instead of mirroring your positive actions, they might start copying your negative ones. If you cross your arms, they’ll cross theirs. If you lean away, they’ll do the same.
This type of mimicry is known as defensive mimicry. It’s a psychological response that signals unease or discomfort. So if you notice someone consistently mirroring your more defensive body language, it could mean they’re harboring some hidden distrust.
4) They’re overly polite
Politeness is generally a good thing, right? It shows respect, consideration, and good manners. But sometimes, excessive politeness can be a mask for hidden feelings.
When someone doesn’t trust you, they might become overly formal or excessively polite. It’s like they’re putting up a wall to prevent any real connection or intimacy.
They might keep conversations strictly professional, avoid casual banter, or insist on sticking to formal titles and addresses. It’s a safe way to interact that keeps you at arm’s length and shields them from vulnerability.
Being overly polite is not a definitive sign of distrust, but it can certainly suggest that they’re not entirely comfortable or trusting around you. So if someone seems unusually formal with you, it might be worth considering whether there’s an underlying issue of trust.
5) They keep their distance
Distance can say a lot about the level of trust in a relationship. Think about the people you trust the most – family, close friends, significant others. With them, you likely feel comfortable in close proximity.
But when trust is lacking, people often prefer to maintain a physical distance. It’s a protective mechanism, a way of keeping oneself safe from potential harm.
It’s always a bit heartbreaking when you notice someone keeping their distance from you. Whether it’s consistently sitting across the room or avoiding close contact, it can signify a lack of trust.
While this behavior can hurt, it’s important to remember that their actions are more about their feelings than they are about you. And with patience and understanding, it’s possible to bridge that distance and build trust over time.
6) They second-guess your intentions
Sometimes, the lack of trust isn’t about what you do, but how it’s perceived. I’ve had moments where my good intentions were misconstrued, leading to unnecessary misunderstandings.
For example, there was a time when I planned a surprise birthday party for a friend. But instead of being delighted, they felt uncomfortable and questioned why I didn’t tell them beforehand.
In their eyes, my secrecy wasn’t about the surprise, but rather a sign that I was hiding something. Their lack of trust in me coloured their perception of my actions.
If someone constantly doubts your intentions or reads too much into your actions, it could be an indication that they secretly don’t trust you. It’s a tough position to be in, but understanding this can help you navigate the situation better.
7) They’re quick to argue
Arguments and disagreements are a part of any relationship. But if someone is consistently argumentative or confrontational with you, it could be a sign of underlying distrust.
When trust is lacking, people often become defensive. They might challenge your opinions, question your decisions, or even turn small issues into big debates.
The key here is consistency. Occasional arguments are normal. But if they’re a regular occurrence, it could mean the person is struggling to trust you.
Remember, though, it’s not necessarily about you. It could be they’re dealing with their own issues that are affecting their ability to trust others. Understanding this can help you respond with empathy and patience.
8) They withhold their trust
The most telling sign that someone secretly doesn’t trust you is simply that they withhold their trust. They might not confide in you, rely on you, or give you the benefit of the doubt.
This can manifest in many ways, from not sharing personal information to avoiding reliance on you for important tasks. It’s a clear signal that they’re not ready or willing to place their trust in you.
It’s crucial to remember that trust is earned, not given. If someone doesn’t trust you, it’s not a reflection of your worth but rather a sign of their own feelings and experiences. Keep showing up, being honest, and proving your reliability. Trust takes time to build, but it’s worth the effort.
Final thoughts: Trust is a journey
When we delve into the realm of trust, it’s important to remember that it’s a complex and delicate aspect of human relationships.
Every person you meet carries with them a unique set of experiences, fears, and insecurities that shape how they trust others. And while these subtle signs can hint at hidden distrust, they’re not definitive proof.
These behaviors can offer insight, but they’re just one part of a larger picture. It’s crucial to consider them within the context of the person and their relationship with you.
If you notice these signs in someone, don’t rush to judgment. Instead, consider it as an opportunity to reflect on your relationship and how you might build more trust.
In the end, trust isn’t built overnight. It’s a journey – often a long and winding one. But every step taken towards building trust is a step towards deeper, more meaningful connections.
So keep showing up, keep being authentic, and remember that everyone is doing their best from their level of understanding.
