If people don’t respect you, these 15 behaviors could be why

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You’re a kind and loving person. In fact, you’re the type who’d never hurt a fly.

But somehow, you rub people the wrong way…and some are even rude to you because of it.

Why is that?

Well, it’s probably because you unintentionally display some behaviors that set people off. 

If you can relate to these behaviors, it’s time to make some teeny-tiny changes so you’ll command respect.

1) You’re sassy

You’re not really mean, but you enjoy sounding like one.

You love being witty, sarcastic, and smart-alecky…it’s just who you are! And you think (or at least, expect) people to be fine with it. You’re not directly harming anyone, after all.

But generally, people don’t like being around sassy people. 

It’s cool when you’re with people who get it, but many people simply can’t stand it. Some would even start disrespecting you to “put you in your place” because they find this behavior arrogant.

2) You’re unfriendly (and kinda proud of it)

For some reason, you don’t like being “too polite” or “too nice.” You think doing those things makes people less genuine.

You’re very much straightforward and you don’t care about making others feel good or comfortable when talking to you. You think it’s just not necessary.

For you, being “nice” is overrated because you won’t meet those people again anyway. And it’s not like you’re hurting or offending them for not acting nice.

The thing is, some people would find your unfriendliness rude, and they’d do rude things to you in return.

3) You cheat, steal, and lie

If you’ve ever done any of these crimes—even how minor and harmless they may seem to you— then don’t be too surprised that people disrespect you.

Don’t think that those acts are just nothing. Stealing just $1 is still stealing. And a white lie is still a lie.

People can be unforgiving to those who do any of these things, and it can take some time for you to regain their trust and respect.

4) You’re loud

And you see nothing wrong with it.

You talk on your phone like no one’s around even while you’re in the library or cinema. And sometimes, you even put your calls on speaker.

When you’re in the office, you don’t see the need to moderate your voice. And there’s probably even a time you were too loud at a wedding or a funeral.

Of course, this can make people feel disrespected, and they’ll shout at you and treat you rudely for it.

5) You’re kinda entitled

You feel it’s your right to be given the things you need…in the way that you want them, all the time.

While it’s understandable to demand good service, people generally find this behavior appalling, especially if you make a scene every time you’re inconvenienced.

So if you have a tendency to act like a total Karen, it’s probably one reason people disrespect you.

6) You enjoy pissing people off

You don’t consider yourself a bully, but you actually find pleasure in pissing people off. 

You’re a funny and light-hearted person…and while a few people love you for it, your humor is quite annoying for others.

You throw nasty “jokes” to make others feel uncomfortable. When someone is obviously panicking, you deliberately stress them out just to see them go crazy (because you kinda find pleasure seeing others suffer).

You probably have no bad intentions—you’re just naturally playful. In fact if people do this to you, you’re fine with it. But this kind of behavior invites disrespect from even the most patient person.

7) You want to be the center of attention

You enjoy attention—all kinds. And if someone is in the limelight, you somehow want to join them.

You can’t stop yourself from wanting to be seen and heard all the time. There might even be a little streak of narcissism in there. 

While many people are tolerant of this, some just find this rude and so they lose respect for you entirely.

Again, it doesn’t even matter if you’re kind of generous or loving. If you display this behavior, you invite disrespect.

8) You’re careless (and you think people should just accept you for it)

Are you clumsy, forgetful, and maybe a bit irresponsible? Because of this, you could be unknowingly bothering the people around you, especially the ones closest to you.

And while that in itself is forgivable (hey, nobody’s perfect, after all), it’s your nonchalant attitude about it that sets people off.

If you broke a glass or a promise, at least acknowledge it and say sorry. Most of all, at least try your best that it won’t happen again. 

If you just move on as if it’s your RIGHT to commit mistakes all the time, then people will slowly lose respect towards you. 

9) You don’t respect public space

So not only are you loud, you might also have complete disregard of physical space.

Maybe you spread your legs too wide in public transport.

Maybe you don’t throw garbage in the right bin.

And maybe you don’t park your car properly.

Basically, you don’t care so much if you inconvenience others, and this can infuriate people.

To gain respect, you have to show that you respect others…and the best way to do that is to follow basic rules.

10) You don’t respect people’s time

Time is one thing that you cannot get back. And so if you respect others, you won’t steal their time by letting them wait for you.

Being always late isn’t something that people should just accept you for. Even being late by 15 minutes seems harmless and normal to you, you can’t expect people to not be annoyed by it…and yet, they will remember it.

Do it a couple more times and people will start judging your character and losing respect for you.

So if your colleagues and friends show disrespectful behaviors towards you every time you’re late, they’re probably had enough of your tardiness.

11) You break rules (and think you’re badass for it)

When you see a no-smoking sign, you light a cigarette anyway. It’s not like anyone is watching…

If your parents tell you not to use their car, you do it when they’re away on holiday. You’ll just make sure the car won’t get any dent…

And if your boss tells you to not use ChatGPT, well…you use it. They’ll never find out anyway.

I guess you’re fine if people don’t find out. 

But once they do, they’ll think you’re someone that can’t be relied on, and of course, this makes them disrespect you. 

And here’s the thing—it’s just not worth it. It will probably take a decade for you to earn their trust again.

12) You constantly blame others     

Is it possible you’re a bit too blame-y? 

Like it’s never your fault. It’s always other people’s fault.

This behavior can bother people at best and anger them at worst. 

And if they can clearly see that blaming others is your pattern, they’ll slowly distance themselves from you because not only do they see you as toxic, they find it hard to respect someone who has no self-awareness and humility.

13) You embarrass others in public

You probably don’t have bad intentions, but you just enjoy being playful with others—especially when you’re in a public place.

When you’re out drinking, you’ll talk about controversial topics to put your friend in the spotlight.

When you’re at a meeting, you’ll make jokes about someone’s presentation just to be funny.

You might not see it as bullying, but that’s how it comes across. And people can see this clearly…that’s why they’re losing their respect for you.

14) You embarrass yourself in public

Hey, we all do embarrassing things from time to time, so don’t feel bad.

But if you embarrass yourself because you’re not able to control your anger or you’re not able to control your alcohol intake, then people will quickly lose respect for you.

I know it’s unfair because self-control isn’t easy, but some (actually, most) people measure the respectability of others based on this.

So if you want people to respect you—or at least not disrespect you—then learn to have deep inner strength.

15) You display behaviors that show you have low self-esteem 

Unlike the other things in this list, this isn’t about you displaying inappropriate or rude behaviors.

This is about how you see and treat yourself.

Maybe you don’t care about hygiene and you always slouch and you self-deprecate when you talk about yourself. These things scream low self-esteem.

You see, if you don’t respect and love yourself enough, people can easily sense it. 

Sadly, we live in a world where some people would take advantage (and hurt) those who feel inferior. And so, some bullies would definitely disrespect you.

This isn’t your fault, but you can certainly do something about it by working on your self-esteem.

Last words

If you can relate to most of the behaviors in this list, don’t be too hard on yourself. We’ve all done these things at one point or another.

What’s important is your willingness to improve—to grow as a person and to act better towards others. 

And you know what’s awesome? People might lose respect fast but they can be very understanding, too.

The moment they see that you’re indeed trying your best to become better, they’ll acknowledge it and appreciate you for it.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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