Eliza Hartley
Stepping into your 40s is a monumental moment in a woman’s life. It’s a time for self-reflection, growth and, most importantly, confidence.
However, some behaviors can hinder that radiant confidence from shining through. These are the habits we’ve clung to in our 20s and 30s that no longer serve us in our 40s and beyond.
In order to embrace your confidence fully, there are certain behaviors you need to bid farewell to.
Here are some behaviors that women should say goodbye to if they want to be confidently themselves in their 40s and beyond.
1) Apologizing unnecessarily
We all know the importance of saying sorry when we’ve done something wrong. It’s an essential part of being a decent human being.
However, as women, we often find ourselves apologizing for things that aren’t our fault or even within our control.
Many of us have developed the habit of saying sorry as a way of smoothing over potential conflict or as a filler word when we’re unsure.
But this can undermine our confidence, particularly when we’re in our 40s and beyond.
It’s important to recognize that you don’t need to apologize for existing in the world, having opinions, or taking up space. These are not things to be sorry for.
So, if you want to boost your confidence, start by saying goodbye to unnecessary apologies.
Assert your presence and let your voice be heard, unapologetically. You have every right to express yourself and occupy space without feeling guilty about it.
2) Comparing yourself to others
Ah, the comparison trap. I know it all too well. I remember one time at a high school reunion, seeing my peers with their advanced careers, picture-perfect families, and seemingly flawless lives. I found myself falling into a spiral of self-doubt and inadequacy.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. The truth is, we all have different paths, different strengths, and different challenges. What might seem perfect on the outside may not be the reality behind closed doors.
In my 40s, I’ve come to realize that the only person I should be comparing myself to is me – my past self. It’s about recognizing the growth and progress I’ve made over the years.
Say goodbye to constant comparisons.
It’s not a measure of your worth or success. Focus on your journey, your growth, and your happiness. Trust me, it’s liberating and a real confidence booster.
3) Neglecting self-care
As women, we often find ourselves juggling multiple roles – career, family, friends. This balancing act can lead to our needs taking a backseat. However, neglecting self-care can take a toll on our mental and physical health.
Research has shown that stress can accelerate aging and increase the risk of numerous health problems such as heart disease and depression.
Yet, simple acts of self-care like exercise, meditation, and even a warm bath can help reduce stress levels.
In your 40s and beyond, it’s time to prioritize self-care.
Say goodbye to the behavior of putting everyone else’s needs before your own. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your wellbeing isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for your overall health and confidence.
4) Ignoring your intuition
Our intuition, or gut feeling, is a powerful tool that we often overlook. It’s that internal compass guiding us when logic alone doesn’t suffice.
Yet, many of us choose to ignore it, leading to decisions we later regret.
As we progress into our 40s and beyond, it’s essential to tune into our intuition and trust it. It’s a culmination of our life experiences, knowledge, and wisdom.
Start embracing your intuition as a reliable guide. Trusting yourself can significantly boost your confidence and lead you towards more fulfilling choices.
5) Fear of failure
Fear of failure can be paralyzing. It holds us back from pursuing our dreams, trying new things, and stepping out of our comfort zone.
But here’s the thing – failure is a part of life. It’s how we learn, grow, and ultimately succeed.
As we step into our 40s and beyond, it’s high time we reframe our perspective on failure. Instead of fearing it, let’s embrace it as a stepping stone to success.
Every setback is an opportunity for a comeback. Embrace the possibility of failure as a part of the journey towards success.
This shift in mindset can significantly boost your confidence and empower you to take bold steps forward.
6) Putting yourself down
We’ve all been there – those moments when we belittle ourselves, downplay our achievements, or harshly critique our shortcomings. These actions may seem insignificant, but they slowly chip away at our self-esteem.
In our 40s and beyond, we deserve to treat ourselves with the same kindness and respect that we extend to others. It’s time to say goodbye to the behavior of self-deprecation.
Every woman is unique, deserving of love and respect – especially from herself. So, let’s replace those negative self-statements with affirmations of strength, capability, and worth. Let’s celebrate our victories, however small they may seem.
Remember, the way we talk to ourselves matters. A little more kindness towards ourselves can go a long way in boosting confidence.
7) Trying to please everyone
When I first started my career, I found myself bending over backwards to meet everyone’s expectations. I was always saying yes, even when I wanted to say no. The fear of disappointing others was so overwhelming that I neglected my own needs and desires.
This constant quest to please everyone is not only exhausting but can also erode your self-confidence. You can’t be everything to everyone and that’s okay.
In your 40s and beyond, it’s important to understand that it’s okay to say no when something doesn’t align with your priorities or values. You don’t have to agree with everyone or make everyone happy.
Prioritize your needs, set boundaries, and remember – it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. Your confidence will thank you for it.
8) Seeking perfection
Perfection. It sounds like an ideal goal, right? In reality, it’s an unattainable standard that can lead to stress, anxiety, and a blow to our self-confidence.
Life is messy, unpredictable, and that’s what makes it beautiful. Embracing the imperfections in ourselves and our lives can actually lead to greater self-acceptance and confidence.
As we journey into our 40s and beyond, it’s time to let go of the pursuit of perfection. Embrace the beauty of imperfection – the mistakes, the missteps, the growth that comes from them.
Embrace your beautifully flawed self. It’s your quirks and unique qualities that make you, you. And that’s something to be confident about.
9) Avoiding new experiences
Life is full of opportunities for new experiences, but too often we find ourselves sticking to what’s familiar and comfortable. This comfort zone of ours can be limiting and can stifle our growth and confidence.
Embracing new experiences opens our minds, broadens our perspectives and teaches us valuable lessons. It also allows us to discover new strengths and abilities, boosting our self-confidence.
In your 40s and beyond, it’s time to say goodbye to the habit of avoiding the unfamiliar. Embrace new experiences with an open mind and a willing heart. Whether it’s learning a new skill, traveling to a new place or trying a new cuisine – dive in.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. The more you explore and try new things, the more confident you’ll become.
10) Neglecting your passions
Our passions are the things that light us up, give us energy and bring us joy. They’re a reflection of who we are at our core. Yet, we often push these passions aside in the hustle and bustle of life.
Neglecting our passions can dim our inner light, affecting our overall happiness and self-confidence.
So, as you step into your 40s and beyond, it’s time to reignite those passions. Whether it’s painting, dancing, writing, hiking or anything else that makes your heart sing – make time for it.
Embrace your passions and let them fuel your confidence. They are a part of who you are, and that’s something to be proud of. Say goodbye to neglecting your passions – they deserve to shine brightly in your life.
The crux: Transformation is within
The journey of self-confidence is deeply intertwined with our personal growth and self-acceptance.
A critical aspect of this journey, especially as we step into our 40s and beyond, is shedding the behaviors that no longer serve us. It’s about saying goodbye to the habits that hinder our confidence and embracing those that empower us.
Each woman’s journey is unique, shaped by her experiences, values, and aspirations. However, one constant remains – the transformation begins within.
Whether it’s saying no without guilt, embracing your passions, or celebrating your imperfections – these are not merely actions but reflections of a profound internal shift.
As you journey into your 40s and beyond, remember: Confidence isn’t something you acquire from the outside. It’s a light that shines from within when you truly accept and love yourself. So say goodbye to those behaviors that dim this light. It’s time to let your confidence shine.
