If a woman uses these 10 phrases in a conversation, she lacks wisdom and maturity

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Wisdom and maturity—if only we all had that, no?

For better or worse, we only gain these things through experience, age, and struggle. At least, generally speaking.

Look, no person will ever be completely mature or know everything there is to know about life. 

That’s why learning is a never-ending, lifelong endeavor.

But some of us, for some reason, don’t get more mature as we age. 

And one of the best ways to see how mature someone is actually through their speech.

They will speak without grace or compassion for others. They will think they’re “just being honest” when all they are being is rude.

Through experience and research, I’ve determined that old yet immature people have fairly distinct speech patterns. 

If a woman uses these 10 phrases in a conversation, she lacks wisdom and maturity. 

Have you been using any of these lately?

1) “I’m so, so unlucky…”

One of the clearest signs of emotional immaturity is the locus of their control.

If they have an external locus of control—which means that they focus on things outside their control and blame these for their life circumstances—they have much more growing to do.

This is not to say, of course, that some people are not underprivileged in life. Many are. Life is, unfortunately, unfair to many people.

But focusing all your energy on cursing the world or your luck will not make it any better. 

Mature people acknowledge the things they can’t control and instead concentrate on the things they can improve on.

Additionally, some women might be playing their “damsel in distress” card. They’re hoping for other people to solve their problems for them instead of doing the work themselves.

2) “Whatever…”

We’re not teenage girls anymore for us to say “whatever” in a sassy way to end a conversation. Even worse is when someone says it and then pairs it with an eye roll.

Doing just that signals an unwillingness or an inability to communicate healthily or effectively—which is, you know, the cornerstone of any functioning relationship.

Whether the topic at hand is too difficult, they’re too lazy to put in the mental labor, or they look down on the other person to take the time to talk to them, this phrase is simply not used by well-adjusted adults.

Using this phrase is a huge sign of arrogance and laziness. 

3) “I always” or “I never”

This is a common one—even mature people are prone to saying these things in heated arguments.

However, saying things like “You always forget about me” or “You never take out the trash” is rarely an effective and productive way to solve relationship issues.

First of all, it’s likely an inaccurate statement as it’s an exaggeration. Of course, it’s natural for people to exaggerate things to prove a point, but you’ll come across as merely nagging.

However, in heated arguments, this can cause the other person to feel defensive and retaliate. 

Which isn’t exactly helping anyone, is it?

Instead of these “you always” or “you never” phrases, try using “I” phrases instead. This redirects attention to your needs rather than your partner’s flaws.

So say, “I need you to do more of the chores,” or “I need to feel more listened to.” I promise you that the other person will be far more prone to listening to you.

4) “This is just who I am!”

If someone says this, they have totally misinterpreted what it means to “just be yourself.”

Staying true to oneself entails never being fake or insincere about things, especially to impress other people.

But here’s what it doesn’t mean:

  • Not taking accountability for your mistakes;
  • Refusing to learn and improve from those mistakes;
  • Thinking that you have no more room to grow;
  • Thinking that other people should put up with your flaws, no matter how toxic they are;

Unfortunately, immature women mistakenly think it is what “being yourself” entails.

They’ll thus frequently use this phrase to excuse themselves from apologizing or taking accountability for the harm they caused others.

But here’s the thing: most people, even immature ones, know deep inside that they can and should change. 

It’s just that they’re too lazy to. Thus, they demand people to put up with their flaws and call it a day. That’s where the crux of the immaturity lies.

5) “I just don’t care”

Responsible adults will and should care. Only children are allowed to live in their little bubble without a care in the world for other people. 

It’s called accountability and responsibility, yeah?

We are no longer teenagers where it’s cool to be edgy and apathetic. Not caring is not only disastrous for others but also for oneself.

  • Not caring about other people’s emotions will stunt you socially. 
  • Not caring about your relationships will leave you lonely and unfulfilled.
  • Not caring about your career will set you up for financial struggle. 
  • Not caring about your health will make you sickly and unfit.

I don’t really know how else to say it, but…

Yeah, you should care. 

6) “But you’re really better at it than me, no?”

There’s something we call “weaponized incompetence“.

It’s a tactic lazy people use to manipulate others into doing things for them—especially things that they could and should do themselves.

It’s often used when someone asks you to do something or asks for help. Responding with this phrase returns the request back to the sender.

Now, we need some nuance, of course. It’s perfectly fine to admit that you just don’t know how to do something, especially if it’s an extremely technical or specialized task.

But when it’s something every adult should do? Like, I don’t know, cooking? 

Then, a mature thing to do is to learn how to do it.

(Now, to be fair, a lot of men do this all the time, maybe even more often than women. But it’s also important to acknowledge that a lot of women do it, too).

7) “I told you I was right.”

People who say this are immature for two reasons:

  • They think they’re always right: For someone to say this, they always want to be right. More than that, they always think they’re right. They think of their opinion as fact and will condescendingly dismiss other people’s perspectives. Even when they are wrong, expect them to come up with a BS excuse.
  • They care more about winning the debate than helping the situation: People who say any variation of “I told you so…” care more about winning an argument—and proving you wrong—than actually solving a problem. They simply want to boost their ego without caring about the emotions of others. 

A more mature person will focus on what can be done better moving forward instead of pointing fingers at other people for past mistakes.

8) “Can someone do something about it?”

This phrase is typically used when something suddenly goes wrong, like when some food or drinks get spilled on the floor. Or when technical issues arise during a big business meeting.

Doesn’t it sound incredibly entitled and whiny when someone says this? It’s like they expect everyone to act according to their whims.

Which usually only makes the problem worse, no?

This is not just immature—it’s downright childish.

Instead of sitting there, rolling their eyes, and complaining loudly about it, the mature thing to do would be to take the initiative or politely ask for help.

9) “My exes were all toxic”

Again, this may seem like something mostly done by men. Though I guess they prefer the word “crazy” instead. 

However, women do similar things, too. They’ll exaggerate and call all their exes manipulative, abusive, or toxic for the mistakes they made in the relationship.

This is a product of how women have been growing increasingly aware of how they might be mistreated by the men they partner up with. 

While this is generally a good thing, the pendulum can swing too far back from time to time, leading them to misinterpret reasonable human mistakes as being toxic.

This is immature because it often leads to a lack of self-reflection

Thinking that the relationship’s failure was all your partner’s fault can blind you to your own flaws as well.

Of course, the line between “reasonable, human mistakes” and “toxic, abusive behavior” can be quite blurry at times. It takes maturity to delineate the two.

10) “Oh, just trust me, I know what’s best”

Overconfidence is a hallmark of immaturity. People who think that they’re always right are bound for a rude awakening.

Whether it’s as important as a business project decision or as petty as choosing which restaurant to go to, women who say this often can be incredibly overbearing.

Not only is it a sign of an overinflated ego, but it’s also a sign of close-mindedness. After all, people tend to use this phrase as a response to someone offering a differing opinion or suggestion.

Mature people will know how to express disagreement in a healthy, polite manner.

To sum up

Language is a powerful thing. Even small phrases like these can reflect many things about one’s character as much as they can affect someone.

However, these are in no way indicative of someone’s overall personhood. Just because they use these phrases from time to time does not mean they are a wholly immature or toxic person. 

It’s still wise to be empathetic and gracious to the people who still use these phrases or think in such a way.

So if you or someone you know still uses these phrases or is generally immature in some aspects… then that’s completely okay!

As I said in the beginning, no one is completely mature. And the most mature thing anyone can do is acknowledge this and commit themselves to growing each and every day.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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