Liv Walde
Arguments are never easy, but unfortunately unavoidable.
Navigating them requires a delicate balance between expressing your needs and respecting those of your partner.
Enter emotional intelligence (EQ) – the superpower that helps us understand and manage our own emotions, while empathizing with and responding constructively to the emotions of others.
Women with high EQ possess a distinct advantage in arguments. They can navigate disagreements with ease and purpose, paving the way for a more productive and ultimately stronger relationship.
Here are 8 phrases that point towards a woman with high EQ, and demonstrates someone who isn’t afraid of a little healthy disagreement, but able to navigate conflict with grace:
1) “I hear you, and it sounds like you’re feeling [frustrated/hurt/disappointed].”
This phrase demonstrates active listening – an absolute necessity of EQ.
By validating the other person’s emotions without judgment or snide comments, she’s creating a safe space for further expression.
She’s also avoiding putting any words in the other person’s mouth and stating that they are hurt or disappointed. Instead, she’s expressing how she perceives their reaction, with room for the other person to step in and clarify their feelings if her understanding is incorrect.
In addition, a woman with exceptionally high EQ might follow up with “Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?”
By asking open-ended questions that show genuine interest, she is encouraging a deeper level of communication and making sure they’re both on the same page.
2) “I can see where you’re coming from.”
Arguments or disagreements tend almost always to stem from differing viewpoints.
Expressing a statement such as the above puts you in an incredibly strong position, and follows the steel man argument technique. In this, you seek to understand and paraphrase the other person’s viewpoint as clearly and concisely as possible, thus demonstrating that you fully understand where they’re coming from.
From then on, you’re in a much better footing to form a counter point, having shown that you’re willing and open to listening wholeheartedly.
Coupled with an eloquent summary of the other person’s views, this phrase is used by strong and intelligent women, allowing them to introduce their own viewpoint without shutting other people down.
3) “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Can we take a break and come back to this later?”
Stepping away from a high conflict, high tension conversation is rarely a bad thing – as long as you’re willing to return to the conversation once things have calmed down (no silent treatment here).
Knowing your limits is crucial for managing emotions. This phrase prevents escalation and prioritizes healthy communication.
However, there is a notable difference between leaving a conversation out of frustration or anger and deciding not to bring it up again, and proposing a specific time to revisit the topic.
A woman with high EQ will follow this phrase up with a statement such as, “Would you be open to talking about this again after dinner?”
By setting a clear time, this alleviates any anxiousness about the conflict going unresolved and shows an active desire to resolve the issue.
4) “I apologize if my actions/words came across as [inconsiderate/insensitive].”
Sometimes, and especially in the heat of the moment, we say things we don’t really mean.
Those words are also sometimes hurtful and cause the other person pain. They cannot be taken back, but taking ownership and apologizing shows a clear willingness to take accountability.
Having the humility to voice words such as these, if possible highlighting the exact trigger or sore spot, is something that emotionally intelligent and mature women excel in.
They tend to be adept at detecting how they misspoke or in what way they offended the other person, and have no issue apologizing wholeheartedly when in the wrong.
5) “What’s the best way for us to move forward from here?”
Conflict resolution is a two-player game.
By shifting the focus from blame to solutions, and incorporating “us” this phrase encourages collaboration. It’s announcing, “Hey – we’re in this together!”
In addition, and instead of simply asking for the other person’s input, a high EQ woman will offer specific suggestions and allow ample space for joint brainstorming.
She won’t steamroll ahead with her own vision for how the conflict is to be resolved, or what she believes the best solution is, but will say something along the lines of “Would you like to hear my thoughts on how we can resolve this, or would you prefer to consider some solutions together?”
This line of speech opens the floor to allow the other person to participate actively in finding a resolution.
6) “I value your opinion, even if we disagree.”
“Thanks for your opinion” has an older sister, who as it turns out is far more mature and respectful.
This phrase acknowledges the difference in perspective (which is bound to happen!) without diminishing the validity of the other person’s viewpoint.
The beauty of life comes from the variances in views and beliefs. It would be boring if we all thought and believed in the exact same things.
Hence why emphasizing that the other person is valid in holding opinions of their own – even if they do differ than yours and you can’t fully get behind them – is vital to maintaining respect and open communication.
7) “Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”
There’s nothing worse than wanting emotional support and a shoulder to lean on, only to get lectured and berated about where you went wrong.
Equally, wanting solutions and action and only getting pitying glances and a pat on the back doesn’t bode too well.
This is why women with high EQ tend to excel at empathetic communication, especially during high-conflict conversations.
This type of phrase shows genuine concern for the other person’s emotional well-being and a desire to support them in the best way possible – for them.
By tailoring their offer of support to the other person’s specific needs, they’re demonstrating an exceptional level of emotional maturity.
They’re essentially allowing that person to dictate how they respond, which tends to be the most beneficial when it comes to solving arguments and making sure they don’t happen again.
8) “I love you, even when we disagree.”
Finally, for many, conflict can be quite anxiety inducing.
Fear of abandonment or conflict avoidance leads many people to struggle with arguing or disagreeing, as they believe that any strife will immediately lead to the other person packing their bags.
But healthy relationships go far beyond winning arguments.
This is why a woman with high EQ will make sure to let the other person know that despite not seeing eye to eye, she still cares for them.
By acknowledging her feelings and care towards the other person, she underscores the bigger picture – the strength of your bond despite the disagreement.
In addition (and if appropriate!), a hug or holding hands can go a long way in de-escalating tension. Just don’t try to reach out and hold your boss’ hands…
But when in conflict with a friend, lover, or family member, reminding one another of your love shared love tends to work exceptionally well at bringing down tensions. It also ensures both people are in the best headspace to find a solution – together.
Final thoughts
Arguments aren’t about winning or losing; they’re opportunities to understand, connect, and grow closer within a relationship.
Women with high emotional intelligence understand this and navigate disagreements with grace, seeking solutions and strengthening bonds in the process.
They demonstrate respect, empathy, and a genuine desire for healthy communication by employing phrases like the above.
Just remember: the goal isn’t to avoid all disagreements, but to approach them in a way that promotes mutual understanding and leaves relationships even stronger than before.
