Louisa Lopez
Love is a complex concept, isn’t it? There’s love, lust, and limerence, and a whole lot of other feelings too! But here we’ll talk about that deep kind of love that means she really wants to have you in her life.
Read on to find out the behaviors that are the clues for real love.
1) She’ll introduce you to her friends
There’s more than one reason for this, but firstly, it’s because she’s proud of you and wants to show you off. She wants the world to see what a lovely person she’s with and to join in her joy. (Or perhaps even to make them a teeny bit envious!)
And also she will want to make you a part of her inner circle. Inviting a boyfriend or girlfriend into her closest friends, her safe space, shows that she really wants to share a deeper intimacy with you.
If you think she’s in love with you and yet she doesn’t introduce you to her friends, (and it’s bothering you), maybe ask her why. Is it a problem with her friends? (Perhaps they are judgy or shallow and she wants to protect you from them).
Or maybe it has something to do with her self-esteem – perhaps she’s worried people will think you are too good for her, or something like that.
If those things are true, she probably doesn’t have very nice friends and could benefit from a loved one knowing more about them. Don’t tell her who to be friends with but steer her towards people who love and respect her for who she is.
2) She’ll want to spend a lot of time with you
Not all of the time, for most people that’s unhealthy! And different people enjoy different amounts of socialization versus solitude.
But she’ll be keen to share special moments, both mundane and more elaborate. Whether it’s going on date nights, doing chores together, or simply relaxing in a room where you do your own hobbies, she’ll find ways to share her time with you.
When you have a free evening, she’ll ask what you feel like doing instead of always being the one to choose the activity herself. Whether you want to stay in or go out, she takes your preferences into account.
And she’ll come up with ideas for the two of you to do nice things together. This kind of thoughtfulness leads us to my next point:
3) She’ll be kind and considerate of your needs and wishes
If someone is truly in love with you, then the chances are that she is going to be thinking about you a lot. And as women are often good at empathy, you would hope that she thinks about what is important to you, and what you want and need.
That doesn’t mean giving you everything you want, life isn’t that simple. But it does mean that she thinks about you.
So she’ll make an effort to remember and attend events that are important to you, whether it’s a work event, a friend’s wedding, or a family member’s birthday. She knows these things have meaning for you, so she puts them on her calendar too.
She pays attention to what brings you happiness. From a certain type of food, to quality time with certain friends. Then she’ll thoughtfully try to incorporate those things into your life when possible because she knows they lift your spirits.
When you have a disagreement, she’ll make an effort to hear your perspective first and validate your feelings before asking you to see her side. She tries to compromise instead of insisting on having things her way.
But no one is perfect so remember that she is still learning. Help her and yourself to be the best version of you both. Work together on communication to make things easier!
4) She’ll think you are sexy even when you don’t feel that way
Have you ever been in a loving relationship where it felt like the person would find you hot even if you were wearing a bin liner? I know I have and it feels really good. And that’s because the other person sees you for all your good points, and thinks you look wonderful no matter what.
These days, a lot of what I read online makes it seem like men think that women will only be interested in them if they look super hot. It’s sad really, because this is also what women have been thinking about men for a long time.
Whatever your gender or sexuality, when someone really loves you, they will think you look great even on days when you feel low and unsexy.
5) She’ll laugh at your jokes
Even dad (or mom) jokes. Most women know, that most men (and many women) really appreciate being thought of as funny. And so a lot of women will laugh at their significant other’s jokes, even if they don’t find them all that funny. And of course a lot of the time she probably will find them funny, hopefully!
Laughter is one of the best connectors between two people. It bonds you and makes you feel good. So if she laughs at your jokes, it shows she cares about you and wants you to feel amusing.
Some people might say that laughing when you don’t find something funny is being “fake.” But relationships require some give and take. As long as you’re not forcing her to laugh by making bad jokes all the time, it’s a kind thing for her to do.
And laughing together, even at silly things neither of you find that hilarious, still makes you both feel happier. It lifts your spirits to share lighthearted moments. So enjoy her laughter as a sign she accepts you as you are, and wants to have fun with you!
At the same time, be sure to keep things balanced by showing care for her sense of humor too. See if you can make her belly laugh or giggle at surprising times. Remember things that have amused her in the past or ‘in-jokes’ that you share. Surprise humor can make someone feel truly special.
6) She’ll talk about plans for the future with you included
Here’s the thing: when someone sees you as a permanent part of their life, they will naturally include you in their dreams and goals for the future.
Maybe she talks about places she wants to travel with you some day, or milestones like buying a house that she assumes you’ll share. These little comments show she is planning a future together.
But wait, there’s more! Don’t panic if the pace or specifics make you nervous for any reason. Just notice that she feels a bond and stability about your connection. That likely means she cares deeply.
7) She’ll take an interest in things you love
Whether it’s your favorite sports team, a niche hobby, or even your quirky fashion sense, she’ll ask questions and engage with the things you enjoy. Even if those things don’t naturally appeal to her, she knows they matter to you, so she’ll make an effort to appreciate them too.
This might look like listening with interest while you excitedly recap a game. Or attending a coin-collecting convention to experience your passion firsthand. Big or small gestures, her interest comes from a desire to share in your happiness.
One long-term ex of mine was a huge football fan (that’s soccer for the Americans reading this!), but I’m not. I won’t say that it was only for his benefit, but I did my best to get into football and become interested in his team and their progress. It really helped our relationship and also helped keep me sane!
8) She’ll allow you the space to be you
A loving partner doesn’t demand you change to fit their ideal. Instead, they make space for your unique self to flourish. That means embracing your quirks, respecting your boundaries, and supporting your growth.
If she complains you play video games too much or criticizes your personality, she may not be accepting the real you. But if she enjoys your company while also encouraging alone time, she’s promoting the healthiest dynamic.
At the same time, avoid taking advantage of her acceptance. Appreciate and reciprocate her care by sometimes compromising too.
Remember…
Love takes many forms, and different people are at different levels of maturity and growth. So even if you don’t see all of these signs, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you.
But hopefully, if you see things that you wish you had in your relationship, this article can be a talking point and a good way to begin to understand each other better!
