Sometimes it’s just obvious that someone is into you. You can tell from the amount of attention they give. But other times, it’s far from clear.
You may be left scratching your head wondering whether she is into you or not.
Are you misreading the signs? Maybe the signs feel so ambiguous there’s not much to read!
I hold my hands up, I think I am one of those women that can be confusing to figure out.
Because far from coming on strong, I hold my cards pretty close to my chest. It’s not intentional, I can just feel a bit embarrassed when I like someone.
I’m worried about being too obvious, so end up going too far the other way in an attempt to hide it.
Yet if you pay close enough attention, there are definitely signs.
That’s why if a woman is genuinely into you, she’ll display these 6 subtle behaviors…
1) She may not initiate conversation but she will actively participate in it
Here’s something I see guys confused by all the time:
They can’t figure out if a woman is playing hard to get, or just not interested.
Let me clear this up for you once and for all.
A certain minimum amount of effort and energy is a prerequisite if she is genuinely into you.
If you are the one putting it all in, and she offers up none, it’s a huge red flag.
She’s either not that bothered or high maintenance beyond belief — neither will have a happy ending.
She may not have the confidence to start a conversation and actually approach you. But if you reach out she will participate in keeping the conversation going.
Rather than one-word answers, or taking ages to reply, you will see the effort she’s putting in.
She should ask questions, give well-thought-out replies, and respond to you in a reasonable time frame.
If you’re talking in person she will give off signs that she is really listening to you and present in the conversation.
That means giving you her full attention, and showing she’s doing so with things like nodding along, making eye contact, and mirroring gestures.
2) She laughs at your jokes, even if they’re not that funny
This comes down to building rapport.
When we are genuinely into someone, it goes without saying we want them to like us too.
Having fun together is an obvious way to make that happen.
It’s why someone will instinctively smile and laugh in your presence.
They are sending out the message:
We have a great time together.
So you might find that she is giggly or laughs a lot around you.
It’s often subconscious, but it seems there is good solid evidence that it works.
Research has found that laughter paves the way for romance. But here’s the thing, whilst women like funny men, men like women who laugh at their jokes.
Now, I like to think of myself as having a good sense of humor, so I won’t strictly laugh out loud when a guy makes a lame joke — no matter how much I like him.
But I probably would manage a slight chuckle or tease in a joking way. This brings us nicely to the next subtle behavior.
3) She teases or is playful around you
It’s an old schoolyard approach to romance.
From a young age teasing someone becomes our chilish way of showing we like them.
We may not feel confident enough to be transparent about our intentions. So instead we find flirty ways to engage and build rapport.
It’s all part of the dance.
Of course, teasing should always take on a flirtatious tone rather than a mean one.
It’s making little jokes, engaging in banter, and poking fun at the other person in a light-hearted way.
Make no bones about it, teasing is flirting, we know this. But it feels more risk-free as it has a certain degree of deniability to it.
It’s subtle rather than overt, so we can always claim we were just being friendly if the other person doesn’t feel the same way.
That’s why teasing is often a way of testing the water to see if you flirt back.
4) She remembers things you tell her
Sure, some of us have terrible memories. My partner for example still doesn’t know the date of my birthday, but I know he loves me.
But generally speaking, the more interest we have in someone the more we pay attention.
So when they tell us things, we actually hear what they have to say rather than it going straight in one ear and out of the other.
She remembers that your sister’s name is Clare, that your favorite coffee is flat white with oat milk, and that you had a childhood dog called Rex.
This attention to detail speaks volumes without her having to say anything.
5) She subtly shows off and tries to present her best side
When we’re really into someone we want them to view us in a favorable light.
In short, that means highlighting our assets and minimizing our flaws.
It sounds a bit manipulative but the reality is that we all do this in the early days.
Dating is a bit like a job interview. Nobody walks in there and lays out all their worst qualities.
Instead, she’s going to say things that give a good impression. That might involve some slight boasting.
She wants to show you her skills or positive qualities, and she most likely wants to look her best around you too.
It’s often just as much about what she’s not doing and saying.
So she won’t do things that put you off.
She’s not going to turn up wearing her worst clothes and looking like she just fell out of bed.
And she isn’t going to talk about a date she had with another guy last night.
The message she consistently presents around you is that she’s both awesome and available.
6) She allows a connection to grow
Clearly this needs some explanation as it might sound a bit vague.
Let me give you some concrete examples:
- She says yes to hanging out together
- She actively reschedules if she has to cancel for any reason
- She looks for excuses or reasons to spend more time together
- She volunteers to help you out if you need it
- She is forthcoming with details about her life
- She will tell you stories about her life and her past
- She shows an interest in getting to know you on a deeper level (beyond small talk)
This is often the difference between people who are wasting our time and just enjoy the attention and those who have a genuine interest in us.
Sadly, modern dating is awash with those who are happy to string you along but already know deep down they don’t want it to go anywhere.
If someone is open to taking things further they let a connection grow.
Of course, that doesn’t necessarily happen overnight.
But further down the line if the relationship still feels shallow and empty, they may not have strong enough feelings for you to allow things to develop further.
It can come down to a vibe
I know we’re all looking for concrete conclusive evidence that proves how someone feels about us.
Love and romance are after all a risky game.
Putting your heart on the line feels scary. But the reality is it’s a risk we have to take.
Sometimes it rests on trusting your instincts and knowing your worth.
If you feel like someone is genuinely into you, go with that.
Chances are you are most likely picking up on lots of intuitive signals and cues the other person is giving out, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it.
If on the other hand, you feel like someone isn’t investing in you the way they should, don’t be afraid to walk away.
There are plenty of other women out there who will.