Lucas Graham
Emotional intelligence is one of the most underrated skills a person can develop.
Basically, having emotional intelligence means having the ability to analyze and understand your own emotions and detach from them where necessary.
Note that it doesn’t mean being emotionless. People with a high level of emotional intelligence feel everything just as keenly as everybody else.
The difference is, they are not ruled by their emotions. They can feel strongly about something yet still think rationally and consider the best course of action instead of simply reacting.
The thing is, emotional intelligence is not always immediately obvious. But there are some traits that can demonstrate a woman with a high degree of EI.
Keep an eye out for these traits that will show you a woman who understands her own emotions better than most.
1) She controls herself
This is probably one of the most obvious signs of a woman with high EI. And the better you know a person, the more obvious this becomes.
That’s because we are our most unfiltered selves around those who know us best. It’s in those deep personal relationships that we feel free to give vent to our emotions in a way we wouldn’t at work, for example, or among people we don’t know very well.
But a woman with high emotional intelligence is always in control of herself.
She doesn’t let her emotions push her around. She doesn’t let the way she feels right now dictate how she acts.
Even if she’s going through a hugely emotional experience such as a breakup, loss of a loved one, or a health crisis, she is able to stay calm and rational and avoids emotional outbursts.
To some people, this can make a person seem cold and almost robotic.
But actually, it just means that they understand that the way you feel doesn’t have to control the way you act, and that it’s easier to make good decisions when you take emotion out of the process.
2) She’s empathetic
Empathy is the ability that most of us have, on some level, to put ourselves in the shoes of others and understand how they feel. But although most of us are capable of empathy, there are different levels that a person can experience.
Plus, it’s a skill you can develop over time.
“Empathy, or the ability to understand other people’s feelings and see things from their point of view, is another critical emotional intelligence skill,” writes psychologist Kendra Cherry. “It involves being able to recognize another person’s emotional states and understand why they are experiencing them.”
Think about it. As humans, we are not all that different from one another. If you can understand your own emotions very well, it makes it much easier to understand the emotions of others.
Having greater empathy can help a woman’s communication skills, interpersonal relationships, and compassion. So if you know someone who is always willing to see things from another point of view, it might be because of their high emotional intelligence.
3) She is self-aware
Naturally, being emotionally intelligent means being self-aware. It means taking the time to analyze your feelings and ask yourself why they exist and whether they reflect reality.
This habit of self-analysis makes women with high emotional intelligence extremely self-aware.
This can show itself in lots of different ways. For example, she may demonstrate a familiarity with her own patterns of behavior, both good and bad. “That sounds like something I would do,” for instance, shows someone with awareness of their own personality.
It also shows itself in a highly realistic and detailed picture of her own strengths and weaknesses. A woman with high emotional intelligence is neither arrogant nor shy; she simply knows what she’s good at and where she needs to improve.
4) She is motivated
Motivation can come from lots of different sources. But often, it is a result of having high emotional intelligence and knowing yourself really well.
Women with high EI usually know exactly what they want from life. And they also know their own strengths and weaknesses and abilities to build the life they want.
This can make them extremely motivated and successful.
High EI often shows itself in a woman willing to sacrifice short-term pleasures for long-term gains. She will often have an optimistic outlook and embrace challenges, trusting in her own deep knowledge of herself to get her through the hard times to the rewards that lie beyond them.
5) She has strong communication skills
A high level of emotional intelligence goes hand-in-hand with superior communication skills.
After all, understanding yourself and your emotional life very well helps you understand the motivations of others. That means you can get a good idea of what they want and what they fear without them having to come out and say it.
“To be a good communicator, you must first build your emotional intelligence,” writes marketing expert Prit Doshi. “It can help you better understand what people are feeling and why they feel that way.”
That, in turn, can make you a better negotiator and leader.
But it’s not all about work. Communication is also the key to rewarding personal relationships, whether with friends, family, or romantic partners.
You can spot a woman with high emotional intelligence by the strength and quality of the relationships she maintains. If you know someone who is on good terms with just about everyone and has a happy home life, it may be a sign of a high level of EI.
6) She is adaptable
In many ways, adaptability is one of the most underrated keys to success in life. And it’s a trait that emotionally intelligent women have plenty of.
Understanding yourself makes it easier to adapt to an ever-changing world. Because you know your emotional patterns very well, you won’t be surprised when something makes you feel sad, angry, or defeated.
Instead, you will be able to detach yourself from those negative emotions and come up with a logical course of action.
Emotional intelligence means being psychologically flexible. And this allows women with high EI to adapt, innovate, and overcome.
7) She’s good at conflict resolution
As I’ve mentioned earlier, understanding yourself can give you a head start on understanding others. Perhaps that’s why women with high EI are so good at conflict resolution.
You’ll often find them in roles where conflict resolution is required, such as human resources, leadership, sales, or in jobs relating to the legal system, such as lawyers and mediators.
Alternatively, you can see this positive trait in the personal relationships of emotionally intelligent women.
They don’t create drama. They don’t fight with their friends. When they have a problem with their partner, they will talk it through in a logical, rational way instead of letting their emotions control them.
If you’ve ever been jealous of a woman who seems to have real serenity in her relationships with others, ask yourself if the reason might be because of her high level of emotional intelligence.
8) She is resilient
Being emotionally intelligent can also help you build resilience.
That’s because often, our emotions are our own worst enemy. Many times, what really harms you is not something which happens externally, but your reaction to that external event.
Emotionally intelligent women understand that, which is why they work to understand their emotions and keep them in check.
Over time, this can create extraordinary resilience. A woman who can detach herself from her emotions in bad times can focus instead on coming up with solutions to her problems.
With her mind clear and unclouded by the way she feels, she can address issues directly instead of getting bogged down in negative feelings.
So if you know a woman who seems to be able to bounce back from any adversity and make the best of any situation she finds herself in, it might be because of her emotional intelligence.
9) She is confident
Maybe this shouldn’t come as a surprise.
After all, if a woman displays the traits listed above, it would be strange for her not to be confident.
Emotional intelligence can help you in a number of ways. It can give you more harmonious personal relationships and enhance your performance at work. These factors, in turn, contribute to your success in life.
And unsurprisingly, that makes you more confident.
Women with high EI know their abilities. Without being arrogant, they understand what they are good at, and go after what they want.
And more often than not, they get it.
The signs of high EI
Emotional intelligence may not be as immediately obvious as something like hair color or height. But ultimately, it’s far more important than these external factors in determining the path your life will take.
These traits can show you woman with a great level of emotional intelligence. And if you want to be successful, it’s a good idea to cultivate some of these traits yourself.
